i said i'd never go hollywood but next year i plan to go under the knife...gasp!
today i set aside money in my company benefits package for a surgery i've been due for since 1st grade. (if you say a face transplant i'll kick you hard...or pick my nose and flick it upon you.) i know the suspense is killing you. is it the boobs, the nose? WHAT IS IT MAN?! oh my...i know the anticipation is killing you softly so i'll just tell ya already. i plan to get lasik eye surgery.
i've had four eyes for YEARS and i'm pretty much done with my vision dependencies. i'm down for subtracting two.
this was a big kid decision. (aka it's a lot of frickin money!) i'm just sick of being cautious. i'm so sick of saying "i'll do that when blah blah blah happens..." it was time for me to accept that all i have is what's right in front of me. i have to accept that i can barely see that stuff in front of me and slit those darn corneas! i'm doing a going-under-the-knife jig. it involves dynamic hand movements, leg kicks and big-eyed winks. i know it's silly but silly is as silly sees.
...i will no longer fly with the blind bats of the world. i will not eat cheese with my homies--the 3 blind mice. mr. mole and i will have nothing more in common. 20/20 will come to me beyond hind sight.
i'll be the blind (wo)man who actually can say "i see." what, what! two-eyed geek in the house!