grow some nuts...2 big balls

it's no secret that i live in han solo opposite land. i do not enjoy going out by myself. i do not like chillin at the bar. i do not like riding in the car. i do not like being alone. i do not like it you silly bone.

i don't understand why people assume they can change this about me. since the ripe age of 5 i have been chillin solo. i can remember being a lone ranger out in the strawberry fields behind my house collecting toads and tadpoles. no one did that ish with me and back then this was perfectly acceptable. not so much 20 something years later.

i've done the "one is the loneliest" thang for YEARS and i think i've paid my solo dues. i don't wanna hear any bull spit about being a strong woman and showing up to crap by myself. i'm over it. you're not gonna change my mind. it's lame. it's no fun. kind of hard to have a conversation with one's self...i mean if you talk back people look at you like you're crazy.

when did i turn into such a flippin social douche?

for the umpteenth time friends are bailing tonight and leaving me alone to attend a show at the comedy store by myself. i'd rather stay home and hermit but as i type this the college bud i'm supposed to meet out there is g chatting me arse off about growing a pair and just coming. yeah, yeah i realize the dude flew in from middle earth but i'm the kind of girl who develops actual hives from solo stressing.

(i do! my neck currently looks like a zealous teenage boy slobbered all over it.)

friends try to curse me with ideas that one day i will have screaming children and i'll wish and pray for the quiet days of yester year. i want to poot on these weird-minded friends. they obviously didn't spend enough time chillin in strawberry fields like a hived-out geek i know.


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