the envy in acting

9.09.2009
ugh. so here's the deal on acting.
it's frustrating and i had no where to go and nothing coming in from my agents. i became jaded. hard core jaded...

i'm soooo not the girl that knows where to go, what auditions to take, what classes help and which ones hurt.

so i started writing a book about this craptastic journey i've been on for the last four years and i felt like my dream was shifting from actress to writer. i was TOTALLY cool with that.

that is until i saw a facebook update from an acting pal of mine who landed a HUGE movie deal and is currently on cloud nine doing articles for major magazines and discussing her formal training and how surreal a dream come true really is.

the actress in me broke down. i'm a bit emotional right now. can't really process what's going on. would i still act if given the chance? is "tish the writer" a finite go live plan? what the heck is happening to me?!

envy is creeping up on me like a creep in a club. i just want to see someone's path and then walk directly behind them, making sure to step in every footprint and catching every audition "yes" that comes along.

i have no idea what succeeding in acting looks like. because of this can i really consider myself an actress? can i keep this up?

6 comments:

  1. Oh honey...hang in there. And maybe see it as good material for the book? Maybe that's the upside?

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  2. You made me want to cry. Hang in there. Remember, good things come to those that, well I'm not sure. But hang in there, we're all behind you.

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  3. Your blogs are interesting and fun to read. It's not easy capturing the attention of people in today's busy world. Getting people to take time out to read about your life, your thoughts, your experiences, is a GIFT. You have complete strangers telling you to keep going. Not because they know you personally, but because they can tell by your words and the things you do outside of acting, that you have the potential and drive it takes to achieve anything. Whether that be writing, acting, directing. You'll be successful my blogging friend. Patience is a virtue. Just wait and see.

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  4. Aww Tish -hug- I know how you feel. Anon is right about the patience thing. It sucks right now but all your hard work will pay off. I mean, as evidenced by this blog you have commitment to your writing, and that you have kept trying to make it as an actress when many others would have given up long ago proves that you are determined to succeed. Don't let the one girl bring you down. You WILL make it.

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  5. aww sugar, dust that envy off your shoulders and keep truckin'! I KNOW you have great things in your future...I envision that movie scene where they show OLD vids/pics of me and my tishy when we're just making our way in HTown (similar to "Funny People" scene w sandler and apatow) :) :) xoxo - e

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