a better resume

real resumes of the world, show yourselves!

life skills:

  • i can pick up things and pinch with my toes

  • i'm a flosser

  • people assume i'm vegetarian because i love veggies but i can tear some brisket UP!

  • i'm blind as a bat

  • i'm a morning person

  • i laugh like ernie from sesame street (some call this the drowning duck sound)

experience being cool:

  • my first acting gig was playing the mama sheep in my first grade school play

  • i was my high school's mascot

  • i once tooted in magic circle...and the red head i crushed on still liked me after that (shout out to dennis)

  • i've acted like a chicken in front of 20,000 ku basketball fans

  • i can quote the movies drop dead fred, little mermaid, the color purple and cry baby like a mutha trucker. (betcha didn't know mothers with trucking skills can do that?)

positions held:

  • been best friends with j for 14 years, b for 4 years

  • guest writer for a mad famous fitness blog

  • token goof for my posse since 1981

  • antique photographer for worlds of fun (for 2 lovely yet stinky summers)


  1. people assume i'm vegetarian because i love veggies but i can tear some brisket UP!

    LOL!!!!! and the fact that you can quote Cry Baby makes you my hero -stares at Cry Baby poster on her floor-

  2. bella wha...what you know about cry baby?!

    "cry baby you scorch me man"

  3. I effing love Johnny Depp and have seen nearly all his movies. I got the poster a while back because JD looked hella sexy in the poster. Can't bring it with me to the uk unfortunately; I'll try to find one there

  4. Based on this, I totally need to redo my resume....and just fyi, I'm soooo jealous of your ability to pick things up with your toes! Mine are good for nothing...


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