give me coffee or give me death!

i am perfectly comfortable admitting i have an addiction.

coffee addiction implies one is cool.,.refined...chic...and very very big kiddish.

oddly enough, i hated coffee for years. up until the invention of the starbucks frap i thought all coffee tasted like burnt water. then those yummy little fake coffee drinks came along (you know those puny little whatever drinks that are more sugar than java?) and out came my weaker side.

it started innocently here, one there... a buzz here, a buzz there.
those damn sugar infused java beverages changed the game up and sent me straight to the land of gateways. pretty soon they weren't i moved on to the stronger stuff like real caramel fraps from that vile coffee shop mentioned above. machiatos and caramel lattes followed and then after a year or so i moved onto quad shots of espresso. GASP!

this year i was introduced to the new and final hotness-iced coffee from mcdonalds. mind you it still bathes itself in caramel but i care not. it's close enough. there's real coffee in there. i see them pour it. (them being the staff at mcdonalds on erwin street...them also being my dealers and the inhibitors of my demons)

these drinks force me to wake up 15 minutes earlier than i normally would and drive my little behind to the golden arches and sit in a drive thru line. i do this day.

why you ask? because work is a boring ball of boo boo. to compensate for this i chug caffeine to keep my head from plummeting onto the keyboard. (this has happened before. one time i even dropped the phone for a conference call was embarrassing. phone droppage and embarrassment are not my cups of tea pun intended har har har)

studies show coffee can actually be quite good for you but i doubt those studies are referring to my sugar with a bit o' cafe. my coffee babies (the drinks people) are bad if you're currently working on that 2010 banging body. not to mention, my sleep beast is slowly becoming immune to the one and only round of mcdonald's heavenly goodness, which means i'd need even more sugar delight to stay awake...not good.

because of these factoids i have chosen to switch up the coffee madness for some green tea. this is not the best idea i've ever come up fact just writing this post is making me grouchy. i want my mcdonalds coffee and i want it now!!!

the first day of project ween wasn't pretty. i pulled up to starbucks near my job and all the spots were taken except for one. score! i started to roll in when BAM! this crappy dude in a utility van bogarted my ish and looked at me like i was the crazy driving loon. i clutched the wheel while simultaneously flailing my head and screamed not so nice things to the man who kept me from my fix.

don't EFF with a chick who's weening herself off coffee jerk face! i wanted to cry and scream and throw hot i couldn't have. this is what the smarty pants of the world like to refer to as "withdrawal".

i thru a coffee-deprived tantrum and burned rubber out of the starbucks parking lot in search of another. luckily for the world at large i found one pretty quickly.

so now i'm on day 3 of green tea...unsweetened plain ole green tea. life is cruel and unsatisfying. i know this now. if anyone can rationalize why i should get to continue with my medium iced caramel coffee addiction please, please, please let me know. until then i'll be in a corner, butt naked, twitching.


  1. i feel your pain sweetie. i did the same thing this spring (and last spring actually). commuting to ottawa for work made me drive right past a mcdonalds on my way out of town and the second it gets cold outside i start mainlining coffee. but i don't really like drinking it when it's hot out and i hate iced coffee so i stop cold turkey when it gets warm. the unpleasantness passes...i promise. until then just lay low and try not to kill anyone. :)

  2. Lol at Cruella De'Ville picture and the thought of twitching butt naked in a corner. All for the love of coffee. Lol! Good blog!

  3. Hang in there, kiddo. Green tea is ultra good for you in many ways. Think of all the money you'll save too--those McDs coffees aren't super cheap either! :)

  4. gotta give yourself the treat once in a while, right!? This rings all too familiar for me as well. I'm a sugar with a bit of coffee gal myself. Oh, and my vice lately has been a donut a little too often at 7-Eleven. SHHHHH!!!!


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