conversations with gangsta mom

over the years i've met a slew of cool moms that i think are pretty much the kiwi's fuzz but i can honestly say, beyond a shadow of doubt, my newest bud "lil big sis" has the number one spot when it comes to being world's most gangsta mom.

lately this woman and i have become signifcantly closer and so she's felt comfortable enough to share her mommy stories with me. (by the way, she's given me full permission to blab these stories to the masses)

one example of gangsta mom behavior:

gangsta mom texts me and says "you can have the baby for free if you act fast...otherwise i'm selling the little jerk on ebay". the reason for this text? the baby had smiled at her...then casually crawled up to her on the couch and without warning slammed all of the food on lil big sis's plate to the ground. hence, the "little jerk" nickname.

today she shared another great story with me. i shall let you read:

me: i need to do a post about you some day soon. how about i admire your parenting you call the kids jerks and stuff...but i'll make it sound nice so folks don't call child protection services on yo behind.

gansta mom: ha!!!! that reminds me...when my husband's brother was staying with us the middle child and i were playing around and i was like "stop middle child before i f*ck you up..and she was laughing and trying to touch me with her coodies and his brother's face was like oh my God, what did you say to her?!

me: LOL!!!

gangsta mom: i was like what? oh, that i was gonna f*ck her up?...come on...who doesn't say that to their kids? lol

the thing is she's full of these stories and seriously her kids LOVE her. i caught up with all of them once at the strawberry festival and while she's definitely the cool calm chill mom she's still totally "mommy" when she needs to be and they know it.

the baby was smiling and coo'ing in her cute little stroller and the other two weren't twitching a bit...

i think she needs her own reality tv show. people need to spend a day in the life of gangsta mom. watching her handle situations while simultaneously potty mouthing love to her mini me's could make the world a better place.


  1. Lmao! "Stop before I f*ck you up!" That's how you get em to recognize!

  2. lol uh're loved G.M.

    I should also point out that upon inspection of each child I found no forms of neglect (which is what you'd assume from someone so layed back and chill lol). No boogies in the nose, their hair was neat and cute and no flies buzzed around their butts. I'd say that's an A+ for G.M.!!!

  3. I so want to be her. Tell her I'll take lessons!


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