a change vacillator

i hate change and i love it. when things are going downhill fast, pronto-like i pray for a bottle of change day and night...but alas when it comes i'm not such a fan.

it's like drinking strong alcohol...it sounds good in theory but once you take it in your whole body starts to burn. change burns!!!

today my ab & legs instructor was out so they had a sub come in and her kinda change kicked my bee-hind ferociously...had me rolling over and across a ball like a dang fool...hated it doing it...felt darn good afterwards...glad i completed (some of it) but man was i fighting the changes during the motions.

i'm trying my hardest to apply this same concept to my life in general...so i don't like the change as it's happening...but i'll feel better in the end. i'm crossing my fingers.

i keep getting these anonymous comments on my blog that 3 people read a day telling me not to give up on acting...that's another ball of change i keep rolling across and can't quite balance on just yet. (the acting not the secret comments) i have no idea what direction to go in regarding my dream.

do i suck even more cash into it and get new head shots? actually start going back to my workshop classes? none of these things sound tempting at the current moment. in fact i'm yawning a bit. hmmm

guess we'll see if change can ignite something interesting and awesome up my butt and get me moving. (sounds painful but again...i said before change ain't no walk in the park for me)


  1. Change is forever constant. It's the one thing you can rely on daily. I am an anonymous reader, and I'd just like to say, don't ever give up on your dream. Ever.

    I like to think of scenes from movies sometimes for inspiration, and in this case, I'm thinking of that scene from "The Pursuit of Happiness" with Will Smith and his son. He tells him "If you want something, go get it, period".

    To hell with what your agents say, the condition of the economy, or what anyone else thinks about you and how far you will go in life. People will always watch movies. And there is always room for new talent. Surround yourself with positive people and things, and just GO HARD for yours, cause you have a right to live your dream. It belongs to you. Your writing style is unique, if you ever want to dabble in other fields, you can always be a writer too. : )

  2. "awesome up my butt"

    Now that's quotable. Love you babe! Change is hard...


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