still truckin'

3.01.2009
i mentioned previously that i wasn't feeling connected (at all) to my dreams of acting and was contemplating a move back home. this scared some folks but i can only speak the truths (moulin for all you film geeks)

my gram sent a great email earlier this week to me in regards to holding on to the dream. this is what she wrote:
thinking about moving home because the acting thing seems like a hopeless dream? We'd love to have you home but you'll just be doing what we call a no-no!!!!!! The acting thingy will come true it's not a fluke/or an out of reach dream for you; it just takes time; your time, my time? Not in any way God's time; he knows what time is the best time for you so let loose and let God; "let Jesus(who is God(the trinity God, Jesus, and the Lord(Christ the Lord) are all one and a powerful one at that-smiles-); you've got a good job to carry you through until your acting career takes off big time(and for God's sake don't quit your job because you get your first big part; let the "Whole thing" come together for you; you'll know(trust me you'll know) when it's the right time to quit because your acting career sustain you big time.

it's good having a lady like her in my corner to keep me strong thru the really hard times. i did a lot of crying this weekend because for the first time in a long time i felt my passion for acting coming back. part of that was class, part of it was that play i went and saw but mostly it was the something else in me that is starting to heal back up...

i've had this gut feeling since i was a small kid that i was supposed to act. i think because i was so young i assumed that it would happen fast for me once i got to los angeles. (i'm sure the other million here believe the same thing lol) sigh...it's just hard...i was having those very thoughts today while running. i was stretching (more just laying there like a bump on the floor) and thinking about how my career is like my running...it's slow but it's one step at a time and then you make it (7 miles today...i had to motivate myself somehow to stay on that damn treadmill)

so i'm thinking these thoughts when jordan sparks' song "one step at a time" pops up on my ipod and for the first time i listen to the lyrics...i guess before i just assumed it was a cute love song but she's talking about dreams and it made me cry...i'm always looking for signs. that was definitely a good one.

a bit ago i went to the store for some snacks and this cute adorable little asian girl and her mommy were walking by the pool. i was just minding my own when i hear the cutest little voice scream at me "hi, hi hi!" lol i couldn't help but giggle out loud along with her mother. i yelled hi back of course. lol...reminded me of how much i love my place and the people around the neighborhood. (sign: you ain't movin' no where baby)

i need the little reminders to keep me going. i spent the whole weekend by myself. besides my acting class i had no human contact and that can drive a gal a bit batty but the signs helped.

i plan to now eat some strawberry ice cream (thanks j for the idea!) and watch "dog day afternoon" (again thanks j for the idea lol)

luv and kiwi powers on...

1 comments:

  1. It's definitely a sign. Your gram is so right. :)

    And no prob, twin! hehe.

    ReplyDelete

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