meat burps

i used to be a minority.

i used to be one of the few lucky people walking this earth who had never experienced the disgusting and utterly cruel horror known as the meat burp.

b had explained that vile thing to me in the past but i just took her word for it. i come from a fam of tooters i guess because luckily i had no idea what she was talking about...until last night.

last night we decided on a whim to go see a flick at the arc. we sat down, i in seat 13 and i felt like the night was perfect. lucky seat, great night, couldn't be better...that is until the beast known as the meat burper sat beside me.

oh she was so undercover! she had the sweetest smelling perfume on, clearly on a date. she sat beside me, smiled and the movie begun. i kid you not, not even 15 minutes into the ish this woman beast was burping up the most fowl smelling odors i have ever experienced in my life. the minute i smelled it i turned to b who immediately began laughing and mouthed to me "the meat burp" UGH!

it didn't stop there either. this heifa burped through out the entire film. i know the beast could tell we were writhing in agony too because she started shifting in her seat and pulled out some twizzlers which i'm sorry but just made a sweet meat that's worse if you didn't know.

i began 2009 thinking it would be a year of many firsts...i meant great firsts lol. my first bout with the meat burp was not my cup of tea. for all those perpetrators out there i thoroughly suggest a tic tac...

i had nightmares about that smell last night...that's just sad. it's like frickin' beatle juice complete with the nasty smell props (you know the fog horn sound)

some people should really think twice before eating beef products.


  1. Ewwww! I've never heard of any such thing, but have no desire to experience it. Sick. Sick. Sick.


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