blue moon lessons

12.31.2009
apparently there's a blue moon tonight...

they only appear every 50 years or something like that. fitting being that it's the end of THE bluest period of my life to date. (picasso's blue period ain't got nothing on me!)

i read every one's year in reviews and i scratch my head. i kinda missed the happy boat this year. it actually makes perfect sense to me that a blue moon will punctuate 2009.

personally i think it's a sign from above. "yes tish...your year was shitty, but it's over. time to start new...what do you say?!"

i say surviving a shitty year and still being around to tell my best friend, " i want to be strong and tough but still hopeful and nice. i want to be able to let people in. i don't want to be scared. i want to have drive and ambition and be what everyone keeps telling me that i am but can't believe--a light that makes my immediate world a better place...genuinely." is pretty good. i'm thankful i still have it in me.

every once in a blue moon gumption hits apparently...

ps i've decided 2010 i'll do less blogs...no more daily doses. i've learned a lesson from the blue moon. people dig randoms more than consistencies...at least in the a.d.d. world of blog readers. blue moon lesson #1

pinky swear

being a creature of habit, i have to set resolutions and clean the cobwebs of my crazy mind and heart at the end of each year. superstition forces me to be a good soldier. i make sure my spot is clean...all the junk has been thrown away to make room for the good stuff...pay my bills so debt doesn't follow me into a new year...you get the drift.

2009 has been whack. lol (well...it has!) i'm glad to see it go. out with the old, in with the new!

because my inner pollyanna is pulling on my shirt for her turn to cut loose, i'll try to keep this positive.

things to luv, remember and carry over to 2010:

writing, good books, a runner's high, seeing muscles pop out of my olive oil arms, noise cancelling earphones, knowing this here kidult still yearns for toys--preferably the kindle, watching my best buds dog look at me like i'm the craziest ish she's ever seen and then lick her hoo hoo to avoid further bewilderment.

these loves represent who i am...i'm nerdy, a sucker for heart palpitations, a traveler of sorts, a fit bottomed chica who will always refer to herself as a kidult. i'm grouchy and yes, goofy.

and finally the resolutions:

work on self love, finish my book, write more for FBGs, fight to remain open and light hearted and of course run a marathon.

happy new year


a gut feeling

12.30.2009
yesterday i stressed myself out royally worrying about what i had to accomplish in one day. i needed to finish sending mp4's to my buddy in kansas city so he could put together 15 cds for me for a christmas thing a group of friends do every year (yeah, i kind of dropped the ball on that one.) i needed to get in a 4 mile run. i needed to not kill anyone at work and i needed to be on time for my appointment with peggy dawling.

i got in a good run, didn't kill anyone and right as i was on my way to check off the next list item, jersey texted and asked if i wanted to join him for this seminar thing he got free tickets to. i don't know why i agreed to go, but something told me i needed to. (weird right?)

instead of peggy i opted for a shower and spontaneity i guess. to make a long story short i ended up at this sylvia brown (psychic) thing. i had no clue who this woman was but the minute jersey explained who she was i knew i was meant to hear something important. if folks wanted, they could pick up a raffle ticket and if they were chosen, could ask her a question. i kept getting pushed and moved out of the line but i finally got one, only to lose it once inside. i had just about given up when ole boy suggested i look in my back pocket (where i never stick crap) and of course it was there...for some reason the numbers had just kept jumping out at me and i knew i had to find the ticket.

when the time came of course she chose me out of hundreds of people. my heart raced as i walked to the front of the amphitheater and asked my question...

i don't know if i believe all that...how much of our lives are destiny...how much is based on what we want and what we go for, but it was eery how it all worked out. i knew i'd be chosen...had no clue what i'd ask but out popped the question and then out popped her answer. jersey got it on tape (that was pretty cool of him.)

i wonder if it's all meant to be...is that stuff real?...how did i know 2278 would be chosen? why did i hear what i heard? these questions will plague me for a little bit. thoughts? opinions?

lol. i'll definitely be googling her. fascinating woman...

(i give thee, "the tish footage". that's montell williams on the right.)

video

zeal of a fanatic

12.29.2009
so i’m reading this novel by zadie smith…one of my favorite authors and i’m totally back into novel appreciation mode…back to loving words and ideas again. i’ve been running around so hard (literally and metaphorically speaking) i haven’t had much time to sit back and think.

holiday travel really helped in the “make time to think” department though. (sad when you don't have time to think lol)



yesterday i sat and pondered the significance of “going home” and what that really means. by calling middle earth home, i’m insinuating that la is alien,yet it is indeed life as i know it. i need to accept that, right? i’m a dreamer—forever have my head up in the clouds...yeah, definitely need to acceptla is it for now. lol.

there’s a fundamental question brewing because of all this back and forth in my noggin: is one more likely to get hit over the head with the fruits of the present if they stare at the roots of their past for too long? the present demands our attention…gotta come to terms with the three conundrums of life (past, present, and future) maybe if i work on accepting my past (in moderation) it’ll help me appreciate the current me a little better. (because then i can stop looking back scrutinizing the mess out of it!)


this all stems from trying to figure out what my new years resolutions will be in 2010. (in case you were wondering where "tish the deep one" came from)

my current present state consists of friends, job, writing, and marathon training. naming them is the first step…

i'm gonna allow myself to be a fanatic about the good stuff i have going on right now. plain and simple...or at least i hope it is.

memories

12.28.2009
just a couple of pics from yesterday...



75th street brewery: sisters and one goof ball in the background

buds & beer

post 12 mile run. those smoothies j made were the BOMB (spinach, banana, cherry, strawberry, chocolate protein powder goodness)

mr perfect: the husband looks like he should be in santa monica playing a jason mraz cover :)

buddy system

j and i have done quite well being virtual training buddies in 2009. we've gotten through a half marathon and now we've completed weeks and WEEKS of marathon training. she runs in middle earth (kc, mo) and i in los angeles and that's life...was life.

yesterday we had the rare opportunity to do a long run together. for 12 miles we ran side-by-side and it rocked like whoa. figured out in those 2 hours that we'll rock the marathon together that occurs in two weeks. TWO WEEKS!!!

i was so happy about it i allowed myself to have beer (which if you've read any of my previous blogs you know i don't do...in fact i've been craving the ish but the devil brew makes my runs drag balls) we went to this brewery that we usually hit up at least once when i visit and got happy and ate lots of MEAT. after a run like that meat is my friend.

of course i caught the worst case of insomnia because of all that crap but it worked out since jersey was driving home late and apparently so was my kid sister. i made the perfect late night worry wart.

i've had about 2 hours of sleep (mmmm feels good). tishy will be a snoring queen on planes today.

i say it's worth it. it doesn't get much betta than hanging with fam and friends. love the buddy system man...


christmas day

12.27.2009
christmas day rocked!

we slept in. sorry...this seems like a small thang but it is definitely bigger than a chicken wang folks. my fam wakes at 6 am sometimes...it's hell on earth so sleeping in until 10 something...then watching flicks...casually opening gifts up and chillin to the 10th power was my cup of tea.

we made sure to keep up the movie tradition though, so we all loaded up in vehicles and went and saw avatar in 3D. it ROCKED and the whole fam loved it. afterwards nina and i pretended to be avatars--complete with hissing sounds and jumping on our winged animals. yeah...we're cool like that. (kidults for life!)

and that was it...the rest of the night consisted of christmas movies, trivial pursuit and talks.

funny story...so my dad says maybe 10 words to me in a year (i kid you not...he's a quiet man...oh the irony of having me for a daughter!) so he makes coffee christmas morning and we're the only two up so i start talking to him about my current dating situations...if i'm too nice, not nice enough, etc. i kid you not...the man gives me THE BEST life lesson based on a bud light "too hot, too cold" commercial he currently loves. lol..."keep it in the middle tish"

that's my kinda family talk lol...it totally made sense. gotta love that man.

all in all, it was good times with the family. i got really emotional when we pulled away from my waving mother. there's just something about my family that brings out the best and worst (hee hee) but definitely the heart in me. i leave my heart in springfield. who would have ever thunk that!?

it snowed!

we appear in all our embarrassing glory on every tree

so...my mom found out stephen wears boxers to bed, thus THIS present was born. i've never seen those two kids that embarrassed. lol the kinkiest christmas EVER!

this woman is the biggest kid i know. now you know where my goofiness comes from


3D movies ROCK!


i like to squeeze the hiney!!! i've been squeezing my mo's tush since i was a kid. (makes me happy) she likes to slap my hands away, wiggle away and scream at me that i'm weird...this little dance we do makes my heart pitter patter.

christmas eve recap

my christmas gift this year was my fam bam and boy was i loving it up.

wednesday i ran my 8 miles and then got on a red eye that led me first to dallas and then to kc. i hung with my gram, auntie and granny for a couple hours and then my sisters and brother in law hopped in the jeep wrangler (beep! beep! who's got the keys to the jeep?) to drive the 3 hours to springfield to visit the parental units.

we listened to "a very special sedaris christmas" laughed and caught up on life. nina's still my wild child free spirit, an's happily married and stephen is still THE sweetest guy in the world. the youngins introduced me to noah earl (new musician they're buds with) as well as some "epic" tunage called lcd sound system. the whipper snappers keep me fresh yo!

it was the sweet good life. my kinda road trips mos def.



my mom seriously had 7 trees in our house. when i say my mo is a christmas crackhead, i'm not lying...the woman makes my heart go pitter patter. there was a christmas tree in the bathroom yo!



we chowed down on my mom's totally yummy chili when we arrived. home cooked meals...it's what's for dinner



so we totally ran up to the neighbors house on accident, rang the doorbell and my two sisters looked at these folks like "you're not tom & sue" totally funny. the neighbors got a kick out of it. sad...must really come home more often. what children go to the wrong house?!


the sisssies chillin in the back of the jeep. i love these gals

the lights will inspire you

12.24.2009
there's just something about going to look at christmas lights. this year i got to see them with the guy who makes me swoon (that is when he's not suggesting i walk in the frickin cold rain!)

there are moments when you feel like you're this crazy weird person that no one will ever understand. then you hop in a car with someone and you go down candy cane lane and you hear the guy singing christmas carols and saying "ooooh! oooh!" every time we hit a jackpot house and you know the encyclopedia of you has been found.

you lift weights like a GIRL!

12.23.2009
oh i've been a little sneaky work out beast this year.

you may have noticed that i've been doing stories here and there for fitbottomedgirls.com. a while back the ladies with the fit rumps asked me to check out this pink gym boutique.

while my inner tomboy twitched immensely i found out that it wasn't really that bad...

check it out yo! PINK IRON

blue woman

ok so i have to be honest with ya...

for months i'd see the durn previews for avatar (no spoilers!!!) and i'd roll my eyes. it just didn't look appealing to me at all...

mind you i did not know that mr cameron wrote the durn thing...had been working on it since titanic and basically this was his little baby in cinematic form.

i think that would have perked my ears at least a tiny bit. i'm all for people with passions.

i am not a demanding person. i don't throw temper tantrums, this time i have to be a brat though. you HAVE to go see this movie. if you do not i shall pluck out each one of your nose hairs one by one and feed them to your first born.

seriously though, it'll change you. it'll make you see the world in a different way...it'll make you want to also be a 10 foot tall woman who says "you should not be here..." i have to add that i'm pretty good at this impersonation of neytiri (the blue chick). i mean she is an amazonian ginormous skinny tall lanky chick...sound familiar? i'm pretty sure james cameron saw me on the street and decided i'd be the muse for his creative vision.

today on the treadmill i fully grasped the idea of my muse-y qualities when i started flashing my long e.t. fingers around. i'm so her...it's not even funny. where is my bow and arrow?!

anyways...i digress.

the movie was seriously amazing. i wasn't the only one sitting on the edge of my seat--face full of wonder. jersey was seriously glued to the screen man. ole boy can do a pretty awesome na'vi (the avatar peeps) call. for this reason alone he gets a gold star for the year.

i couldn't sleep after seeing it. my mind just wanted to play with all the images and ideas and concepts and beauty. mr terminator director out did himself...surprisingly. seriously wasn't expecting that kind of awesome-ness at all.

see it. luv it. let me know so we can share in the blue woman luv.

only an angel

12.22.2009
i'm touched.

when life is hard and i start to question if i have any significance at all for being on this darn planet, a wonderful dear person in my life springs forward to let me know i've made a ripple in their pond.
a new friend of mine hit me up on facebook a couple of weeks ago asking for my address. i assumed she'd be sending out the traditional christmas cards that pop up in the mail around this time each year. you can guess my surprise when i opened this BEAUTIFUL book with a lovely note explaining why she sent it.

it truly is the little things in life that make my heart swell and seriously that's the best feeling on earth. it can get me thru car troubles, crazy hectic work schedules, bad marathon training days...these little gestures of thoughtful kindness keep my heart pumping out the joyful stuff.

i'd like to thank my librarian twin for such a wonderful gift...it means the world to me.




da vinci code

12.21.2009

it was the hardest secret kept thru the century. well at least it seemed like a century to little ole me. i LOVE finding the perfect gifts for folks. that doesn't always mean that the recipient GETS the significance of the gift at hand, so my joy increases exponentially when the givee actually geeks out over what i give them.

in july i started conspiring to give one of my favorite peoples in the world, jersey, something that i knew he would love. he's a sporto and a half and would marry the sport of snowboarding if it was legal in california so i spoke with a buddy--this totally awesome and might i add well-known artist--and asked if he could paint on a board if i found one. he one upped me and said he'd do better and get me the whole shebang. so for months i've been sitting on this totally awesome secret. this past weekend jersey started scaring the heck out of me...he was searching for boards online...looking at magazines so the eager punk got his gift early because i was terrified he was buying himself a new board.

he looked like a frickin kid his eyes were so big. that was the face i was hoping for. don't you just love this season?!

behold my own personal holy grail unveiled:


video

the board had to be tested after this...we drove an hour to a mountain and let him play to his little heart's content

ole boy immediately starts playing

merry christmas!

method to the madness

12.18.2009
for years ladies our ears have been cursed. we've been forced to listen to men cry, whimper and moan about how girls go for the bad boys...that nice guys finish last...blah blah blah

it's hogwash for sure and now i can prove it! mwahahaa...

so it was bree and i's annual christmas exchange last night. we met up over my house, did the gift thing, did the hot cocoa thing, then decided the cocoa thing was too much for our delicate natures so we drove over to my favorite grub spot. (the restaurant inside the arclight theater)

as we grubbed on yumminess we did what we do best...we gabbed about guys,work, and the arts. we always do this and i always learn some fascinating new tidbit. last night was no exception.

while eating a divine turkey cranberry wrap bree layed it on a sister. it has nothing to do with wanting a bad boy...it has nothing to do with wanting a guy to treat us like pooh. it has EVERYTHING to do with smell. you got that? smell! and it's true. a light bulb went off in me.

the two "perfect on paper" guys smell like nuthin to me. in fact, the two men who everyone thinks i should mate and make sweet babies with, both lack scent. nada there... the one who i'm giddy all day err day for smells like "clean". i can't describe it...he just smells clean...i feel like he's hung himself up to air dry on a heavenly clothes line. he smells of sunshine and air. i love it.

my ex fiance smelled like baby and that bought him a good couple of years. one ex smelled like sandalwood...then he started eating onions 24/7 and that's when the relationship soured (no pun intended) bree and her bud are on to something fantastic here!!!

it's old school you see...we're going back to cave women sensibilities. the nose knows!


disclaimer: these are NOT the two "perfect on paper" fellows. just a simple picture that captures the face i make when experiencing the pain and agony of dating. sorry d! you know i got luv for ya buddy!

unique unicorn

12.17.2009
a project for 2010:

according to b i am a walking, talking anomaly. i am the only person she has ever met who is free from conceit. (but not in a good way) i have the weirdest self esteem known to woman. this esteem is sadder than an intentional mullet, more powerful than a candle votive... able to destroy a compliment in a single bound. (sad attempt at a superman reference...slap me now.)

this my friends is why i'm special (when friends tell me i'm special i like to switch it up and say i'm a unique unicorn...somehow i don't think this is what they intended.)

honestly though, i just never really got down with looking in the mirror and thinking my ish was the bomb diggidy. hence my resolution for 2010...

she said i should get to a point where i look in the mirror and say "dang you're beautiful..." but no sooner had those words passed from her mouth, she started busting a gut laughing. it's silliness. mirror talk...i tell you what.

woman in the mirror aside, it's good to rock a bit of self appreciation. helps with dating that's for dang skippy. honestly i look at women that have gushing guys (or gals) and i sigh with envy. i feel a tiny bit that someone claiming you as their own proves just how swell you are (as opposed to the internal mirror talk stuff). this is big honest food for thought i'm dishing out right now. yes...the feminist in me knows this is secret talk that you don't share because it makes you look like a doofus but since i identify and DO doofus on a daily basis this wasn't much of a deterrent for me.

my two besties rock at thinking they're the ish (in a good way). that gumption gene never really kicked in for me unfortunately. funny...i just received an oprah email saying how to love your looks without surgery yadda yadda...oprah has the gene. if oprah has the gene then i need to get the gene! (i do what oprah says....that's what oprah-phites do.)

i'm hoping i can correct some of this loco logic in 2010. otherwise i'm doomed to be a catless cat lady. and frankly that is way sadder than an intentional mullet.


doofus turns divine...2010
word to your mother!


fandom

12.16.2009
i found out yesterday that my lovely fan story i submitted to a former jayhawk will be published in his swell book.

you can purchase my words on amazon.com. i receive zilch nada kwan (aka cash) from this plug. i'm just really stoked when anything i write goes public. (now you understand my need to blog like my life depends upon it?...)

i must go now. my groupies await autographs and the chance to feed me grapes.

it's a hard life...but someone has to write about it.



ups stalking

12.15.2009
i'm kind of upset with the guys in brown right now. for the last couple of days i have raced home (ten times more banchee than i usually am) in the hopes that my darling package i've been waiting for all my life and then some would arrive.

it has yet to do so.

in the mean time, i've sped. i've done a crazy u turn that didn't quite turn all the way (darn blasted car!) that ALMOST got me killed from two different directions. i've ran through my parking garage. i've checked my phones to make sure they're working. i've checked my little tracking device like the stalking chick that i knew i could always be.

in a nutshell...the girl's gone crazy.

sigh...i don't know what to do. all i know is i want my stinkin' package yo*. i want it like yesterday and i think it's super duper mean of the boys in brown to keep me waiting.

i have a bone to pick with them. just cross your fingers folks and hope to christmas that i don't add to the scary list above : )

*shortly after finishing this post i received a glorious email on mikimoto (my cell phone people) telling me my package was waiting for me outside my door. people you can rest assured that my banchee behavior will finally simmer down.

tis the season for giving

12.13.2009
i love giving gifts...there's just something about going into a store with the intention to make someone squeal with joy once they see that you've taken the time to care.

today i went to the grove in the hopes of shopping and enjoying the holiday ambiance. it's always so beautiful in that little shopping oasis. there's a train decked out in christmas gear that goes through the grounds... a farmer's market with yummy crazy eclectic food stands and shops galore.

i picked up most of my goodies today, played with an adorable puppy that i so wish i could have adopted(she kept biting my curls and i swooned), ate a yummy crepe...stole some of my bud's waffle banana walnut stuff, watched a great flick at the movie theater there and basically just had a ball.

i'm excited for christmas this year. i know money's hard and we're all forced to be a bit more savvy, but that hasn't stolen my christmas joy. it's the little thoughtfuls that have me twirling in my bedroom tonight.

i'm an exhausted happy chick. merry christmas...can't wait to blab to folks all the goodies i thought up for folks...mwahahaha


artsy fartsy

i've returned to my happy place...it's a place where one can hear miles davis blowing from outside my bedroom walls on a sunday morning. it's been an artsy fartsy weekend filled with theater and self reflection...perfect music while i write this recap.

i have this bud named bree who works as a stage manager for this totally naughty yet charming theater joint down in hollywood near the arclight. note (the name of the joint) is consistently putting out wild stuff. when it gets super duper wild, bree sends word that i must see...or suffer the consequences of her vengeful wrath so last night i hopped in my car and mosied on down to the little theater that could.

the play was amazing. it was this coming of age story about 5 kids who have just graduated high school. the summer before they leave for college they experience
all this crazy stuff...alien abductions (LOL!), talks of couple status, going away for college...leaving friends. it was touching and had me teary-eyed in parts, laughing in others and because i'm truthful, immature as HECK in others. i swear to the kiwi gods i wasn't expecting to see boy pee pee or girl hoo hoo but that's exactly what i saw and i immediately made this face:
i'm sure i annoyed the living snot out of the totally mature and art savvy couple in front of me (i giggled a bit) but i cared not. I SAW BOY PEE PEE! check it out: ole boy and chick are on the ground...you're led to believe they've just finished doing the horizontal polka...he reaches underneath the blanket and pulls off a condom...i'm thinking they're doing a good job of making it look like they're naked and stuff under the blanket when all of a sudden ole boy stands up and out pops the tishy face. (re-enactment pic above)

sigh lol...i'll never grow up. promise.

that wasn't the reason i loved it though...the play was sweet. it reminded me of the click i had in high school..how we all grew up and grew apart (well besides my darling j and i) it reminded me of love and looking forward to the future...

i forgot just how much i need the arts.

it was a great saturday night...

downtown

12.12.2009
it's saturday morning. i sit on my living room couch, hoodie on, chick flick on the boob tube appreciating the life i have. j is texting me about where she is on her 14 mile run and i giggle at her take on twilight (she does the book on tape thing when she runs.) life is good. it's a perfect time to reflect on my awesome friday night:

while my heart will always belong to suburban living, i've officially reserved a soft spot for the city.

last night, in the cold rain, i threw on my long black coat and some boots and headed to the area of los angeles that never sleeps. no palm trees...just tall buildings, yuppy boys and girls looking for the next happy hour and crazy crackheads that direct folks how to parallel park their cars for spare change.

la--the city--is a bit magical. it's a little new york (tiny bit) a little chicago...there's grand architecture and tiled walkways...it's dark and grimy; there's tons of character and i love it.

the city isn't something i visit frequently though. i've definitely picked up a loathing reluctance to driving more than 10 miles in this gosh forsaken town but mr. downtown--a friend that goes back to my first year in los angeles when i lived in eagle rock with my former professor--resides here and was complaining of driving to the valley after just returning from a vegas business trip. i decided to be fair just this one and only time.

ahhh mr downtown...he's seriously the guy i'd want to be if i were a dude. he lives in this dream layer downtown (hence the name)...handsome furniture, art he painted himself, simple, cozy and pimptastic. (seriously chicks don't have to worry about coming in and adding a woman's touch...he's quite impressive.)

i showed up ready to grub and out walks mr impeccably dressed, charcoal scarfed man...total guys guy and ladies man. (like i said i'd want to be him if i were a dude.)

we take the elevator down and walk the streets until we arrive at this beautiful restaurant called bottega louie. beautifully young, hip and trendy people mingled in the charming atmosphere as waiters carried wine and eggplant fries above their heads.

we dined on THE best margarita pizza i've ever tasted, the eggplant fries, sauteed spinach and this tasty little ravioli with pea filling...it was heaven. i had my first glass of wine (i can't tell you how long it's been...darn training) and we laughed and caught up thru the evening.

for dessert we had berries & cream plus pineapple sorbet that almost produced a happy tear. it was the perfect taste...

i fell in love with bottega louie. it's one of those smart restaurants where friends' true colors can come out...it's loud but sophisticated, charming and intoxicating. you just feel a little more interesting and pretty once you walk through the doors.

the city was my fresh breath of air from my normal routine. i love the small gifts that pop up every so often. even more than that, i love that these small gifts are so readily available...good stuff lies just down the freeway...mingling down below underneath the buildings and lights.

doughnut made me do it

12.11.2009
it's no secret that i've associated running lately with pain and insanity (to put it mildly)...i would have nasty anxiety attacks thinking about all the hours i'd be in my head while my body was pounding out the run and on top of that, i hurt my foot so it wasn't happy, happy joy, joy time for sure.

i realized i had to work through this ish though in order to survive my very first marathon (which is in four weeks!!!) so i've been slowly building back up my runs...seeing how far i can push my foot before it starts shooting pains up my shin.

yesterday was some one's birthday at work which meant the doughnut nazis were pushing sugar hell in my face all day. i've never had a big sweet tooth (my mom told me veggies were candy when i was a kid. by the time i was old enough to know she was a big fat liar i had developed cravings similar to sweet tooth cravings to the green stuff.) so yeah...never had a sweet tooth really...except i kinda love jelly-filled doughnuts. the WORST one you can have in that awful box.

so yesterday i broke down at 3:30 pm and had a third of one (gave the big half to my cubby buddy ian...aren't i a gem?) the sugar raced through my body and immediately turned me into a crackhead. (think mike meyers and the snl skit where he's had too much chocolate)

i knew at the moment my veins began to burn that i had to run it off or i'd be wiggy so i took my keister down to the gym and started rockin out on a treadmill.

9 miles later i felt like a running rock star. it was the first "happy" run i've done the whole training period. i wasn't tired. i wasn't anxious and crazy...i was just running along...working out to do lists in my head and thinking about the date i'd have later that evening.

sometimes even evil, devilish doughnuts can have their day in worship land. without that problematic pastry i would have more than likely pushed the run to today (naughty...)

i don't recommend a doughnut as a good source of energy before a run by any means (you'll pass out on mile one!) just saying...incentive comes in the most unlikely of places.

heads will roll

12.10.2009
i spent 30 minutes last night searching for my favorite (and might i add mandatory) christmas flicks and i couldn't find nada.

where's the "all i want for christmas",the "scrooged", and "a christmas carol"?!

i see buku advertisements to buy, buy, buy all the time, but there's jack diddly squat stuff involving a darn tree and some santa. (and those stupid lifetime christmas romance things don't count!!!)

I NEED SOME SANTA!

hot chocolate and candy canes just don't work without them...

is this some cosmic hint that i need to grow up? cuz it's not working. my inner child was throwing THE gnarliest temper tantrum when realization set in. lip out, the works. think it's time to visit amazon.com.


beach babble

12.09.2009
it's a sure bet that you will encounter some interesting folks when visiting beach communities...

last weekend i visited my cousin shell bell down @ the beach. when i walked into her abode her bud (hippidy dippidy twin) greeted me and from there the interesting conversations started.

h.d. twin started talking to me about government boo boos...conspiracy theories abounded.

  • the center of the earth is actually hollow and the nazis knew this and now have land in antarctica that surrounds the hole they drilled. in this core lives aliens (one named krell) and while we thought they were peaceful and just wanted to take our dna peacefully, they were caught with human body parts in their ship (area 51) and now are on our shit list.
  • there are things called chem trails in the sky that top secret planes are emitting on purpose. these chem trails are filled with metal bad stuff that is giving people lung cancer. the purpose of the trails...information is transmitted with the help of these smoke trails to satellites...somehow this makes it possible for areas to be obliterated at will with a push of a button. i lost him in parts on this one because i started sipping the most delightful fruit carbonated beverage. i'm easily distracted.
  • last but not least (this one might have some tiny truth according to peggy dawling...but tiny) is birth control pills may be misleading women into choosing inappropriate mates. because the pill tricks women into thinking they're preggo, it can also trick women into thinking the dude they're with is the one since he's the faux knocker upper.
never a dull conversation...

it's such a great adventure meeting such interesting characters with such entertaining stories to tell. honestly the twin had me a bit scared that night lol...i blame part of that on my hour drive down and lack of sleep. he's this dreamy fellow who gets answers from looking into the sun, reading everything and going to a crazy amount of lectures and seminars.

and while i won't be looking into the sun anytime soon, i commend the fact that he took the time to tell me what melts his butter and revs his engines. he did tell me one thing that i believe...read what's in your medication. he told me how a doctor gave his father syringes containing pig intestines to thin his blood (stuff that's giving people e coli)...read the labels people. spinach, garlic...there might be alternatives.

random switch up: i'm catching up on blogs and came across THIS. reminded me of the pill theory...see how stuff sticks in your brain and gives you interesting connections to blog about later? uncanny...

hocus pocus

12.08.2009
sometimes i find random things on the internet that i have to share with friends.

THIS is what started the below madness:

me: are you magical?

jersey: no

me: but your hair stands straight up


jersey: it's cause im asian


me: lol...maybe your race makes you magical. ever think of that?
maybe when you create magic and disappear magical sweet rice is left in your path lol


jersey: you're so weird.

west coast con

12.07.2009
all my friends back home are doing it. the christmas bug has hit and they're decorating trees, putting up lights...they're getting into the holiday season. this is quite fascinating. i wonder if it's the snow that knocks folks into shape.maybe the booty-shivering shivers are what alert the masses to get into the holiday spirit. that's my guess considering la hasn't caught on that it's december...los angeles has no clue it's christmas time.

while friends back east complained of snow over the weekend, i was driving down the 405 to the beach. i saw not one christmas light set up or santa coco cola billboard. when i got to the land that drops off into the ocean my cousin and her buds took me out to a sushi place where folks were actually sitting outside and eating. it was brisk, don't get me wrong...cold enough to make me walk faster, BUT there were people sitting outside yo!

this lack of christmas stuff can really mess with a certified christmas junky. i was twitching on the way home so i made a pact with myself that if i could knock out some good work on my book then i could blast some holiday tunes and decorate. turns out that consisted of a stocking and one tiny tree so i pulled out the big guns to shake me into christmas land. i watched miracle on 34th street. (it's a must-see every year for me.) i drank hot cocoa and wore furry socks.

it's a start. don't be surprised if i create fake snow angels in the living room soon...

i know this is an ongoing battle, but it's one that this gal is willing to take on.






esoteric

12.04.2009
oh this post is a long time coming...

you only thought i've been capable of blabbing my guts out. i've been sitting on some pretty deep and heavy stuff for a while now and i think it's finally time to share.

here's the story: i got sad. then bad stuff started flowing into my world and before i knew it, i was drowning in stresses that i couldn't see my way out of. everyone gets sad. everyone feels stressed at some point in their life. when you're depressed your stresses are magnified and at the same time your ginormous problems are growing in front of your very eyes, you're also emotionally drained and incapble of fighting back. you no longer have the strength to deal and THAT'S when things start to get scary.

work layoffs were constant talk in my department. i developed an inconvenient crush. i started having anxiety attacks every time someone mentioned my marathon training...my friend lost her father. another friend lost her father. i sank more and more...

so my strong totally awesome j rescued me. one day at work i sat there bawling my eyes out, unable to deal or fight anymore. she picked up the phone and called my doctor and yelled at him and drove home the fact that he was enabling a troublesome sadness that he shouldn't be enabling. the test results i had been anxiously waiting for all week spilled out of his mouth. i didn't have thyroid issues. that day my buddy saved me. that day i made my first appointment with a therapist.

turned out therapy isn't as bad as i initially thought after my first session. (i was so disappointed it wasn't like the show in treatment.) i'm a pretty open person so i didn't know how talking more was gonna somehow be different with a stranger, but peggy dawling (that's what i secretly call her) is really good at sensing my awkward pauses of discomfort...she'll start telling me stories, shower me with lessons to ponder and give me little home work sessions. she's a good teacher and i don't feel like i have to fill the awkward silences with my big mouth. no entertaining necessary. she pointed out that i'm a people pleaser (this isn't so shocking) so my first round of business was going to the bathroom at work. sounds silly sally simple right? i'm the kinda chick that will sit there holding it for the entire day because i don't want anyone waiting on me for something...makes your bladder throb just thinking about it, doesn't it?

there's obviously more though. lots of people see a therapist. you were probably questioning why i even thought it was a big deal. that's not the big huge "oh my" though...the big thing was after telling my doc that i was blah about life...that i hadn't cried in weeks because i was numb...that food was so blah to me i didn't feel like eating...that i couldn't find the joys i used to find so easily anymore, she told me i needed to consider medication. things got quiet on the couch and then i told her i had been thinking the same.

and so now i'm three days in. some my wonder why i wrote this. according to my therapist (i both twitch saying this phrase out loud and dig saying it simultaneously) it's ok to talk about depression. sometimes it finds you and you don't have to remain mum.

i was scared to write this...i was scared because i was still in the muck of the bad stuff and it's hard to write or talk about it when you're in it because it scares you more...makes you feel more hopeless because you're actually focusing on it. now that i'm feeling more like myself i can write to my long fingers' content. some are so quick to judge, but i have some friends out there that deserve to know they're not alone. i have others that deserve recognition for keeping me whole from hundreds of miles away. it's those friends that silence the finger pointers.

so now my confidential couch moments are yours for the reading. do with them as you will.

brain leaks

12.02.2009
christmas litmus test

the mother texted me last night to tell me the father was watching the grinch. you may be thinking so what...and! but whenever t.k. hits play and the green guy pops up on the screen the ladies in my family know it is officially christmas time.

you see men don't do christmas early. men don't partake in christmas giddy. men follow the seasonal schedule...my mo on the other hand is a christmas crackhead. she wears the elf hat, she puts up the tree, she puts the "santa ho ho ho, inside oh oh oh" toilet seat cover on and she would do this madness in july if you let her.

therefore we wait for the green guy. when i hear about the rotten mr grinch i know it's time...so just in case you didn't get the point of the story...IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!

oprah update

oprah's doing a 12 days of christmas sweepstakes...and the grand prize winner gets tickets to her show...um... every day after work i race home and like any good worshipper i get on my computer and enter my ish for the day.

i feel it in my bones. i got this. there's a seat in her audience meant for me. wait for it...wait for it.




harmony of the ninja

over the holiday weekend i saw a delightfully heart felt flick called ninja assassins.

seeing cute boy do yoga handstand on a bed of nails...well that's my cup of tea by george! i realize that men roll their eyes when we do the "cute butt" thing ...you know what i'm talking about, right? the thing some gals do when they watch totally testosterone tv...the men are yelling and the women are tilting their heads sideways thinking hubba hubba nice tush...

well i totally did that and i am not ashamed.

yes, the movie was good. there was some cheese ball corny town dialog at times, but overall it was up there with kill bill on awesome bloody martial arts and the ninja toys were SWEET. d and i were rolling back and forth admiring all the gruesome awesomeness...talked about that mess for days.

it was all that and a bag of hotty mchottington. wha?...can't a gal have both? call it balance. call it a story of the girl who humored both her inner male brain and her inner gal brain. call it ninja yin & yang.






down with frenzy

12.01.2009
i moved at crackhead speed for pretty much the whole frickin day yesterday. i came, i sat, i kunta-ed, blinked and it was time to leave.

i'm pretty sure every darn first monday after a holiday is tragically terrible like yesterday was, but i've blocked that mess out apparently cuz today i wasn't prepared. i wigged. i wigged a lot.

i also ran out of work...i ran to my car...i ran to my doctor's appointment and then i slowed the heck down. i ran some errands...got some groceries and came home to a freshly cleaned apartment (my roomie has a cleaning lady come once every two weeks...i frolic in the perks that spill over into tishy land.)

i made a nice little multi-grain penne pasta disharoo and a salad. i drank pear merlot juice and had mango for dessert. i watched vintage project runway (andre and santino) and i chilled the heck out.

then i sat in my room inhaling my trapp candle mary catherine gallager style and wondered how in the heck i let life bend me over and smack me down. not cute...

sometimes chaos gets the better of me.

thank GOODNESS grocery shopping, a little boob tube, and candle sniffing still has the power to de-crackify me.


p.s. my fire alarm went off right as i was saving this post. if that isn't irony, it's something else equally annoying...

descartes in the hizzouse

11.30.2009
quick philosophy tidbit: descartes was the guy who asked what's real and how do you know what you think you know... head spinning? mine was when mr older, my high school guru of a teacher, used to spit on a philosophical tip.

my brain really doesn't have the juice to dive into that deeply right now, but i can swim in its shallow pools for the purpose of this post.

this weekend wasn't my finest. i was hella bored most of the time. i started twitching on saturday and that's when the self doubt kicked in. i saw my reality--my immediate life--as pretty darn sucktastic.

i spent the entire day editing my book. i haven't touched the darn thing in a month or so. i thought this would be a good thing. i'd have fresh eyes to catch the boo boos but i think my eyes were a little too fresh. chapter after chapter left me scowling and in pain. i found it all to be crap...utter crap. i edited it as fast as i could and then closed down the laptop for the rest of the night.

i then started editing the other parts of my life. i looked at things and decided it was all crap and scowled myself to sleep. then i woke up on sunday with a different pair of eyes. all the supposedly real thoughts and opinions i had concerning my life weren't as bad as i had previously thought.

i hung out with d the entire day. we watched the blind side and true blood...we laughed and ate good food...one of my boys (who's written a book himself) started reading my book and gave me some nice feedback...in short, things started looking differently. what i thought was real and finite wasn't. saturday phone calls had initially sealed parts of my life's fate and then sunday...completely different sentiments that left me scratching my curl mop.

so what's real? how do you tell real from perspective? when do you celebrate or cry...scowl or smile? i could do it all, but i have a sneaking suspicion people would think i was a bipolar crack head. lol...that wouldn't be a really accurate assessment though. ;)

i'm just little spazzy me...trying to keep it real.

p.s. reading a book my sis gave me for christmas last year, persepolis...good stuff. i dig the graphic novel. it's smart and interesting so far. i can proudly say i dig picture books. as for the blind side...it was touching and sweet--good movie for the holidays.

a steel magnolia

11.27.2009
you think when you become friends with people that you're getting all of them--you've already figured out all their potential, all that they are and all that they will be. you think you see it then...that's why you choose them as your friend.

the wiser me knows better now...

today i went to a funeral for my friend's father. this friend is someone i think of as a sister. i swear her mom and mine were separated at birth...so i always loved spending holidays in their home. felt like my family... i wish i could say there were differences when it came to tragedy, but i can't. it also felt like my story when i learned of her dad's passing...

going in i thought i would be strong and i could be there for my friend. like i said before...i thought i knew up front how my girl was. she was so much more than that today though. today i saw a beautiful strength i've never quite seen in any one person before. she looked so strong...sad, but strong. i cried immediately when i saw her face.

you can judge a woman's character by how she reacts in the worst of times i've heard. my friend was everything beautiful...everything sad...everything we ladies should want to hug and console today. she was a steel magnolia... i couldn't stop the tears. my heart was breaking for the girl that's been a great friend to me over the years.

thru the best of times and the worst of times i'll keep learning about my friends...i'll keep learning that this life of mine just doesn't work without them.
i learned more about my dear friend today than ever before.

i was a fool to say i had it all figured out. i'm still a rookie at all of this. the only thing i know for sure is friends give strength in ways that we just can't muster on our own.
i sat in a room full of strangers crying for my dad, crying for the man that accepted me into his home and offered me candy, crying for my friend who had to say good bye to her daddy...and then b was there holding my hand. yes, the tears kept coming and i still felt that sadness that's been with me since i was a child but the world shakes a little less when some one's there holding you up.

i saw my friend's best friend holding her up. she read a passage during the service and at that point i knew my friend had someone holding her world up too and my heart sighed with some relief.

e, i love you very much and this week (the week of thanks) i am grateful for "your person" t...your friends that stood in your sisters kitchen helping dish out food...strong women that made you smile. i'm thankful for the strength you possess and most importantly i'm thankful God put you in my life to show me how a steel magnolia looks and acts.

stank you very much

11.25.2009
ah thanksgiving...

the holiday that bullies us into listing all the many things we're thankful for...

this turkey day i'm rockin it alone which is the ultimate no no thing to do around the holidays. i'm not so thrilled...

with that said, i'm thankful for my exhausted sense of humor...and tv land.


Fit-Licious

occasionally i get the opportunity to write something for j's uber awesome fitness blog.

check out today's post and swim around for a bit. there are some lovely little nuggets up in there...

new moon (no spoiler geeze mon!)

11.24.2009
i don't know if you've realized it yet, but movies (for me anyways) are WAY more than just sitting in a dark theater and breaking down acting quality and plot. i go for a number of different lovely reasons.

in the case of new moon i went because i heart the darn books with a passion that has to be pronounced like cesar millan the dog whisperer would do so. ("i have pash-SHUN for the books.")

watching new moon was one of THE BEST movie experiences i've had to date. it had nothing to do with the actual movie really...a group of my gal pals (b, evvie, bree and rachel) all met up at 9:30 am sharp to watch a movie we're all a little obsessed with. the fact that we were all giddy school girls was the key ingredient that makes it memorable

it's great seeing a movie with perky people all in the same lovey dovey mood. we laughed and cried and laughed at our crying together and it was the perfect morning. i'm sure folks were wondering why a group of obviously grown A women were geeking out, but we cared not. we were too busy having fun and enjoying a perfectly goofy sunday morning flick.



cheesin...it's about to start

the gang...i'm just now noticing i hang out with a gang of short little pixie mamas




best buds totally geeking out. yes, we took pictures at 9am to document our new moon experience

acting adventures part 382

11.23.2009
when it comes to me and my world of acting, connections just don't really exist the way they're supposed to. sure folks promise a lot, but when it comes to me actually seeing successful people helping the unfortunate--well, that's an urban legend.

that is until friday night. i don't know how...i don't know why...but i--little ole tishy from the suburban block of nada--ended up at a dinner party with BIG producers, writers, directors...it was madness, jaw-dropping idol worship stuff up in that home and i was there...soaking in the realization that i was pretty darn close to folks otherwise known as "the shiznet".

i listened to these folks discuss the projects they're currently working on...some are directing mini series and drama series that you and i watch...comedy late night shows...movies (one guy was a mastermind of THE MUPPETS MOVIE)...one guy discussed having john singleton in a class he taught at usc...this class happened to be where he wrote boyz n the hood.

they spoke about how important helping the next generation is...how they look for passion and heart in the newbies--throwing experience out the door for the opportunity to find the next great genius. they spoke of getting out of the entertainment tunnel of boring and living...experiencing the world so you have something new and fresh to actually bring to your art. (hallelujah! that my friends is why i never dated actors...people that eat, live, breath, sleep acting are dull as the spoon i ran into my little four-year old eye)

i dug shaking hands with such good-hearted individuals and discussing what's to come in the world of ku alum living in los angeles.

who knows if i made an impression on those at the dinner. i spoke little, listened much and just soaked it in. i'll chalk that night up to magical fate and be thankful i got to be a fly on the wall.

sometimes my life is a whirlwind of randomness--impossible to grab on to the things that fly around, but boy are they impossible to ignore rushing by.

cross your toes

11.20.2009
8 miles...

8 miles can look sooooo very different when you take away your car and put on your running shoes. 8 miles consumed my brain last wednesday. by the time i went down to the gym i was a ball of grump for sure. the grump helped me see the light though. i knew i couldn't run an hour and then some on a treadmill--staring at a wall. the grump helped guide my fingers to the movie section of my ipod. sex and the city the movie saved my darn sanity...i was watching and running and before i knew it i had ran 4.5 miles. sweet! good! love that. then it happened...

sharp pain started shooting up the top of my foot...NOOOOO. all focus came back to my body...the heat traveling to my head. the obvious pain in my foot...a dull ache in my shoulders from slouching...my eratic breathing...for someone who's faced backslide after backslide of training i was devastated that pain hit in the one darn body part i had to have working in order to zone out.

all that night i was in pain. the next day...the same, but lucky for me, i got into a doctor that day. the foot doc rocked. no bone spurs...no surgery...no x rays either. i have tendinitis in my right foot. in my opinion this is good news cuz it means i can still run BUT i can't push and do big runs for the rest of my training...i'll be doing short runs more often...no more 16's and 15's...BUT i will get in a 20 in a couple weeks. (just to see if i have the juice necessary to keep up with crackhead mcgee--j woosky)

i think today was the first day i was proud of myself for participating in all this madness. i've had anxiety attacks...i've given up my time and alcohol consumption (just saying!) for this stuff and today i saw how awesome my sacrifices have been on the doc's face. he made me repeat how many miles i had run when the pain hit...it hit at 5 miles and i still ran the last three. he called me "one of those crazy people" and i smiled...i am one of those crazy loon athletes that pushes thru pain... couldn't be more proud to rock the crazy.


be good to your feet...heartfelt advice from a pisces foot nut

irony? cruel joke? coincidence?

it's a bit ironic that oprah's big announcement...followed by my realization that a part of my dream was gonna disappear, followed the invitation i received to attend an acting thang tonight.

yeah...you remember acting? it was that little ole thing i moved out here for that bullied me into a corner to suck my thumb and develop temporary dream amnesia...

i honestly don't know why i'm going. can't tell if it's curiosity...tiny hope...maybe even me just being a wimp that will attend anything my buds tell me to attend. who knows. the point my dear friends is i'm going to a dinner tonight to discuss ku's film and theater program with a bunch of talented and successful alumni. (how in the WORLD did they get my information?!)

i would have probably curled a lip and thought about tonight anxiously but my horoscope today made me giggle so i'll say what the heck and approach the din din with a nice girl mentality.

My horoscope for November 20, 2009:
You have tremendous ability, Tish. Sometimes you just need a little push in the right direction in order to really make the most of your talents. It is not that you are lazy, rather that you are merely fatalistic about where life leads you. Today would be a good day to get a bit more serious for a change. You will find that an astute application of your skills yields tremendous results.

scary...ain't it?

chink in the dream

11.19.2009
i'm not ready!!!

oprah has announced that she's going off the air. september (2011?) will be her final month of the oprah show.

oh this ain't no stay-at-home-mommy-eating-bon bons-sadness my friends. don't be shocked that my demographic worships the dear woman.

oprah's a part of my personal legend! i have big plans for oprah. i WRITE oprah monthly and give show ideas. they've called me back. (how many times have i told this sad little story? i think this makes four...)

how can she go off the air? i've been dreaming of sitting in that woman's seat since i was a kid. at first i was gonna tell her off because she did a show that discussed the tragic lives of biracial kids. i wanted to speak my little five-year old mind and tell her i was just fine (twitch twitch)...

then i grew up and she changed the show's format and i fell in love. the end.

oprah's iconic. she can't go... i need a hug. preferably by queen of the awesomes herself.


NORM!

one thing i know for sure...

if you go to the same restaurant or food joint long enough they will remember your name. a total "cheers" moment will erupt...you will become norm. prepare for the temporary gut to pop out.

the peeps at the mcdonalds near my place of employment know it's me when i utter the following rehearsed request: "can i please have a medium iced coffee, caramel (and i say it like cara-mel, not carmel...there's an A folks!) and that's all." then they ask again if that's all and i say "yup!" and drive forward.

i get to the window and they're always cheesin at me. yes...i come every day. yes i'm a coffee crack head. the fact that this tickles them pink embarrasses the crap out of me, but crack heads will ignore embarrassment if it means getting their fix.

HIT ME!

yesterday was a bit different though. yesterday i made ground on getting to know my crack dealers. i pulled forward to pay and my lady asked what i put in my hair. now everyone knows i push the mixed chicks like whoa so i happily told her what i do and how i do it and where i get the stuff to do it with and she smiled, took down the info and i moved along.

then i move to the next window and the chick is giggling at my consistent crack headish butt and handing me my ish. i am norm. norm is me.

exercising the mouth

11.18.2009
monday, november 16th was my last and final day taking this class called cardio weight training at my gym. while i'm happy that muscles now pop out of my arms when i flex (this is a first for me folks!) i am not sad to say good bye. that class kicked me arse every single time...left me sore every single time.


it was so intense (it's bootcamp with a fancy name folks) that people started dropping like flies towards the end. the last day of class only 3 people were there: me and a married couple that i adore.


she's this quiet tiny thang and he's this husky goof ball...you'd NEVER in a million years think the two would be linked but that they most certainly are. it's that balance thing you always hear about...


being that it was a small class, my mouth grew larger to accomodate. i started asking how they met and all that juicy goodness. apparently their parents knew each other so they've known each other for a long ole time.


the hubby told me a story about how when she was six he told her aunt and uncle he was going to steal her. i'm sorry but that ish is adorable.


jersey totally scolds me after class for being such a chatter box, but you learn the best stuff from opening your mouth and chatting people up.


now if i could just find a story teller when i'm on the treadmill for hours at a time...

copy cat

they say imitation is the highest form of flattery...

b bought these swellaroo boots a month ago that left her giddy like a school girl. she came stompin in with a slight swoosh in her swagger and proudly told me they had that very same lovely boot in size ginormica. (aka my size)

i'm not big on rockin the exact same things as my buddies. don't know why--probably my weird aversion to anything that takes away from my unique tishiness BUT these boots are love. pure sole love. so today i jumped on the b boot bus.

beep beep boot luvahs!

next thing you know i'll be saying my bib for grown a women is totally fly...

fashion gods...you have a wicked sense of humor.


oo la la

swellaroo

mocking bird

11.17.2009
like freud said, it's my mama's fault.

i can trace all of my bad habits i think back to toys my mo gave me as a child. when i was 5 the lady inhaled some crack and decided to give me the most annoying mocking bird toy for christmas. the darn thing could record what people were saying and play it back...i liked playing back mo's potty mouth.

years later i'm now ocd about repeating back what people say. if they have an accent it's even better. the actress in me tries to hit it dead on. sometimes i can do it...other times i just look like an arse, BUT i do it so much my friends are used to it.

that brings this story of mine to today. a little bit ago in the elevator i heard someone say (with an awesome accent), "who needs to get off on floor three" and i wanted to repeat it back so bad. my girl evvie just looked at me with wide big eyes...she didn't say a word until we got off the elevator and then she started whispering to me, "don't do it tish! the guy is right behind you."

she knew! ha! she knew something powerful was having to restrain the mocking bird within.

as soon as he passed it came bareling out...complete with accent.

some day i really will get my arse kicked. in the meantime ask me to do home boy d's voice...i'm pretty darn good...just sayin

it cometh...

i tend to vacillate at work between gangsta and goody goody. while some days i care not that i stroll into the work parking lot bumpin hip hop, other days i feel npr is the most appropriate choice if i'd like to avoid looks of sheer terror from little old cute ladies who waddle and smell like chanel perfume circa 1976.

i am cool vacillating between the two. i am not, however, comfortable with oscar junior bumpin biz markie and then switching it up to christmas music.
i thought i told oscar junior not to play my christmas songs on random shuffle, but the little contraption is a terd and does what it wants. i heard "i saw mommy kissing santa clause" this morning...

yesterday celine dion "do you hear what i hear" started blasting in my cube. my cubby buddy looked at me like i was the crazy cat lady.

i'll get to the bottom of my shuffle but one thing's for sure...i can not stop christmas from coming early.

bring on the jack frost nipping at my nose. sigh...

another little piece of my heart

11.16.2009
the idea of home is tricky. while some associate the word with four walls and a roof, others know it's more a feeling you get when you feel comfortable or familiar...

sunday i got a good dose of all things home...left me happy, sad and everything else in between.

first i saw 2012 (review will come later gaters) and that made me miss the fam bam and all my other loved ones...funny enough i had made a date with a college bud to meet up in long beach. i met ms em back at an old college job. every day we'd sit in a little cube together, fold envelopes and gab. i was there when she was dating her hubster, when he proposed...i went to the wedding...she was there to see me off to los angeles. a bit later she, her husband and her baby moved to salt lake city and the rest is herstory.

i haven't seen or spoken (in person) to this lady in YEARS and then there she was, stroller in tow, waiting for me at the aquarium. we found a restaurant and promptly started the game of catch up.

random...the restaurant was celebrating their five-year anniversary. so obviously (not really but yeah) the celebration included the usc marching band coming in and blasting tunes for a good 45 minutes. thru the noise and play time with her wee one we managed to squeeze out what's been happening in both our worlds.

i caught myself melting into our conversation. it's been such a long time since i've spoken to someone who knows about the ethiopian restaurant in our college town...someone who discusses old school olathe as a point of reference....someone that can give me home.

i caught myself tearing up when we were hugging bye. when you move away you create a new version of life. yes, you bring your furniture and other tangible goodies but it's not always home. home is where the heart is and fortunately for me a little bit of home came and plopped herself and her daughter in my little ole day.

...today i was reminded that there really is no place like it.

video
sorry for the sideways angle. some day i'll learn to stop doing that...some day.


ms em & her little wiggle worm
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