The truth about cats and dogs

Every true chick flick has a character that women audience members identify with…usually character one-dimensionals: the nerd, the pretty girl, the sporto tomboy…you get the drift.

Well I have always loved the movie “the truth about cats and dogs” …loved it without identifying with a dang tootin’ character-- really didn’t feel like an uma or a janeane…that is until this weekend. I’m totally and utterly a janeane now…

This story begins on a warm Friday night on the streets of ventura blvd. ev & petie, two gal pals of tishy decided they needed a happy hour night with the curly-haired goof to drink their work stresses away and get tish to come away from the proverbial ledge. so they hit up a sushi joint and pub and got busy.

Over yummy rolls and beers fitfully named “heavenly hef” they discussed the things that all girls discuss…husbands & boyfriends came up, the newest beyonce video and of course where each girl stood mentally in their lives. (aka what dating had reduced them to)

petie mentioned she hadn’t dated in a really long time and felt their must be something wrong with her. Doctor tishy stepped up to the plate and assured her dear bud that she was completely normal…she had only commited one mistake…she was always letting her best gal pal tag along…the best gal pal being the uma friend.

We all have the uma friend. The drop dead gorgeous gal that has this crazy bewitching power over dudes and leaves them goo goo drooling while you sit in the back flailing your arms shouting “hey remember me?! your date!”

The gal pals both nodded in agreement, a little light bulb going off in their heads. For a split second tish felt good about sharing her cats & dogs theory…that is until the dang thing happened to her one night later.

I’ve been emailing back and forth with a guy for over a month now. (keep the truth about cats and dogs securely placed in your noggin.) on Saturday evening he asked if I’d like to meet him and his buddies at a place down in santa monica so I got b and we headed out. from the moment the email guy saw my girl b he was hooked. And this is where my guffaws made it ten times worse.

I have this moment where I know I don’t have a chance and it’s almost if I purposely sabotage the situation ten times more than I naturally could. Not only did I think it would be ok to sit across from the email guy to keep the whole group in the conversation, I also mentioned he looked bigger in his pictures…lol…some could take this as an oops. When you know you’re out of the race ya just start to bow out…I was the queen of bowing out that night. couldn’t say one darn thing without sounding like a total and utter dork.

He brought us over to his group of friends and started talking to her 1 on 1. I sat back and watched as email guy’s best friend whispered in my ear that he thought b was beautiful. Lol…Uma and janeane flashed through my thoughts as a voice in my head droned on, “Tishy lightbulb detonated in 5, 4, 3, 2….”

I may have my theory but I have absolutely NO clue how to work with it! the thing is uma’s never realize they’re snatching the attention, they’re not trying to do it intentionally and part of the reason boys love her is because she’s a great person…so of course you want to keep hanging out. how do you still play with your friends but step out of the uma shadow? I’ll spend the remainder of this year trying to figure out how to work with uma power…

Until then…table for one!


  1. You are SO NOT a Jeanane...and you're being hard on yourself. :) I'm sure B's awesome, but this guy sounds like an arse. :)


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