insomnia is dancing around in my head

11.19.2008
i swear insomnia has spread through my apartment building like the plague. whoever lives above me is having issues going to bed too...and happens to walk heavily. ugh...sit down and behave i say!

this week has been so hard for me. i feel like i'm balancing on a wire...i could fall into the land of crazy at any moment. in fact i did after work and started crying uncontrollably. of course crying alone always makes it worse. i still have a crying headache over that one...

i've been working really long hours at work that have left me utterly exhausted. i literally am too tired to eat when i get home. it sucks when you don't even have time to pay your bills or pick up a french fry and because of that suckage i can't sleep. i tried reading for the last hour and it's not working unfortunately. what do people say to try? warm milk? sigh...

i haven't had time to live...work consumes. there's a lesson here that i'm too tired to grasp. i was the last on my office floor to leave tonight. i realized, as i sat on the floor near my desk organizing work that i estimate will take up at least 2 hours of my morning to complete that i was lame...sitting on an empty floor at 7:30 at night alone is lame...not having time to live is lame.

i'm holding on to the hope that there will be a day where work does not consume and i have time to build a life i want to embrace. i'm also holding on to the hope that my eyes will get heavy shortly.

6 am i'll be at work jones'in for coffee and cursing myself for this late night bit. one of volde's friends gave me this little bull for the year of the bull coming in 2009. it's supposed to bring me good luck. i rubbed it just now...

we'll see...

1 comments:

  1. I really hope it lets up girl. It hurts my heart to know that you're feeling this way.

    And if warm milk doesn't work, try chardonnay. :)

    ReplyDelete

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