dancing in the chill

9.21.2008
i find it almost embarrassing that i can swing so high emotionally and fall so hard the next day. my incessant self-nagging voice was getting the better of me at the beginning of the week...feeling trapped and hopeless about my current career, the career i want and life in general led to some late night tears and some bummer blues i sadly carried with me through out the days.

lucky for me running totally works at erasing the blues. i don't know if i lose the sad thoughts or if the endorphins i pump out cover them up but they fade. that's a good thing but i feel bad for the two best friends in my life that have to witness those moments...i'm thankful they're standing beside the swinger from hades.

while i'm not in the mood to go down the specifics of why the blues follow i did have to put it out there for my friends that i'm aware of the crazy...and thus i write my gratitude.

swing high time...today is a good day. a good sunday. i watched the rachel zoe (spelling?) project and the coco chanel movie yesterday so last night i dreamed of fashion and had the most lovely of dreams. i may be a huge fashion mishap (tomboy for realz) but i love LOVE LOVE! looking at pretty things. heck i was named after chanel...oddly enough, so whether i rock the chucks or not my heart will skip a beat if i see some beautiful piece from the fashion world. did anyone know coco created THE little black dress?...sad story actually. i really do recommend watching or reading the story of coco. she was pretty flippin amazing and had this feisty strength that is mesmorizing...the ability to recognize men's bull crap and place in her world, when to give in and when to run away fast...and most importantly, focus on her dreams with a determination i can admire.

so yeah the dreams were great...i think good dreams are great ways to start out the day personally. i woke up, put my wild hair in a pony tail, thru on the chucks and headed down the street to starbucks for the new oatmeal they started dishing up (oatmeal with dried fruits and pecans is yummy to my tummy) and some unsweetened green tea...mmm now, with laptop on legs, i sit on my living room chair, sunshine hitting my face writing this blog and watching oprah...these are the little blessings that keep me sane.

i plan to watch a couple more episodes (i hardly ever watch tele during the week now) read some jane eyre and then work some more on an art project i've been giddy over for a while now. maybe get b involved with some of the art stuff this evening...who knows...sundays are all about doing whatever...just dancing in the chill.




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