abs of shame

9.05.2008
why do my agents hate me?

my modeling agent called last night...told me she had an audition for me. all i needed to do was wear fitness gear (check) and know how to jump rope (um...check) so today i go to work and do my thing for a couple of hours, then leave for the audition (which requires a fast change in one of the women's bathroom stalls at work). i get there and i think everything's cool...i'm looking around, see an ab machine off to one side...i'm looking for the jump ropes...nada.

a casting guy comes out of a little room and asks for "trish"...hmmm

i walk in (bubbly as can be) and he starts to walk me through what he's about to do...he'll take a body shot, then a head shot, and then two 'fitness' shots...so i stand ready for him to click and he says "ok show your abs"...sigh.

i don't know if you all knew but i've had the darndest time trying to stay on a fitness regime...can't eat right to save my soul (i'm the fattest skinny girl you'll ever meet) so (humiliated) i lift up my shirt (no 4 pack there i'm afraid!) and then he asks me to "crunch my ab muscles" sigh..if i push out he'll see my bloated belly because i've just inhaled chicken fingers and fries 5 minutes before leaving work so that i'd have the energy to jump rope...i suck in because i've basically just failed anyway...he should have known i wasn't what he was looking for and let me keep my dignity.

i sucked in, left my pride at the door and walked out, head down. i felt like julia roberts after leaving the snotty store. why would my agent set me up for such a thing?! the other girls in the room were frickin tall, lean and muscular as heck...think pole vaulters, olympic games 2008.

my agent has a sick sense of humor... i don't even know if i can write her and tell her not to send me on anymore of those damn things...ugh. i skipped dinner tonight. :(

happy audition day tishy. this is not what i envisioned as a kid.

note...the chicks and men you see in infomercials that have used some lame product for 4 days and can already see results are LYING! they're new york/la demon children of the gyms. don't drink the gatorade people!


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