update on the film festival

so i've just completed the second day of volunteering for the american black film festival...figured it would be a good idea to start writing now. the memo pad on my phone can't take much more of the incessant note taking.

before i begin i have to say i love waking up in the mornings later than my normal 5:30a.m. and driving through the streets of my neighborhood, watching folks functioning through their types of mornings. my life is so robotic and monotonous...it's crazy seeing folks out walking their dogs at 8:30...enjoying a coffee outside of a java shop. i always wonder what folks like that do and how i can get to that life.

ok so the festival:

well first of all it's produced all the feelings in me that i suspected. i've been so close to successful people doing what i want to do...folks posing as 'normal', breathing the same air as me, but living on a whole other dream cloud. it's such an odd experience for me being near someone doing what i want to do...i get so small and wide-eyed. lol...

i wanna be on those clouds so bad.

the first night i went to a showing of "carmen jones" and listened to halle berry give an introduction to the movie. i should have been in awe of her and the fact that someone with an oscar was that close but the movie itself left the greatest impact. as soon as halle finished talking and the lights went down a mass of folks walked out of the theater. it was disappointing for sure (makes you wonder how many film lovers come to these festivals and how many come for the stars) but the movie definitely made up for it. it was my first time seeing dorothy dandridge. she gave me goosebumps. the legacy that woman left is tragic and beautiful all at the same time. i sat in that half-empty theater and watched the woman that paved the way for gals like me. i left feeling like i had gotten what i needed to get out of the festival. old hollywood...learning about the roots.

a person intrigued me today. i sat for an hour talking with the head of security for the festival about women who compromise everything to have a piece of a small chance with some big star in hopes of their talent (or luck) rubbing off. she spoke of positive energy and integrity...mentioned that she knew i was on the right path. it was just cool to hear my goodness shows : )

i went to a symposium today too that had a panel of mangers, agents, lawyers and finance gurus giving advice on representation in the biz. i know the room was packed standing room only because people were waiting for a big shot to notice them and force them to sign on the dotted line (me included) but i came away with something that could lead me to something good like that which is pretty and that's half the battle. basically i learned i need to be the master of my own destiny...big theme that keeps popping up.

the people at these events aren't trying to network lol...unless you're above them somehow in the climb to the top they're not looking down or sideways so i'm really trying to enjoy the lessons i'm learning just from observing people trying to hustle with folks that are already full from the talent on their plates.

something about this stuff is changing me. i sat in that meeting and started tearing up. it's so weird to sit in a room full of people just like you and still believe you're different and you'll be the one to make it. my world's size fluctuates ridiculously.

besides all of that i've met some really great people that i have had a blast talking to. there's this one girl, d, who keeps me entertained like no other. it's good to see a goofy sister like myself with honorable career goals trying to do the dang thing too. there's a younger woman that comes from tv royalty who has a great head on her shoulders, an english goddess (only way to describe the woman!) who is lovely and practically perfect in every way and the guy i work for teases me incessantly but it's hilarious as all get out.

all in all it's been good for me so far...my classrooms keep getting crazier and crazier.


  1. Wow...and that was just Friday. No telling what's in store for this weekend!

  2. well thursday and friday lol

  3. very cool story. kinda disheartening that everyone left after Halle Berry....(can you tell I'm not a big fan of hers?) is there more to the black film festival? I can't wait to hear!


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