center of the storm

8.06.2008
i have been twisting through a storm.

today is the first day in a long time i have not worked an 11 or 12 hour day. the first day i haven't cried, the first day i've come home with energy to spare. if you didn't know pisces people are easily swayed. we're water...whatever's thrown in our space causes us to shake and move about which unfortunately for me happened to be negative shaking in the last couple of days.

i'm dealing with some bozo boys that i've said some nasty things to. one in particular got a nasty little message a bit ago. raise your hand if you think it's whack of a guy to purposely try to keep you in the picture as a safety net while he skips about with girls in his city on the other side of the country? raise 'em high now!

work has been KILLIN me and i feel horrible because i've been working these long days and then having to attend meetings for the festival and i'm just this blubbering baboon to the film people. i'm cranky, impatient...sigh. they don't deserve it and it makes me resent my job all the more...it is stealing my joy.

i don't know if it's pure exhaustion but i'm scared ya'll. this festival could mean so much...i was driving home around 11 last night...back back to the valley! and crying to God to PLEASE let this be an opportunity where someone positive and proactive comes into play. i just NEED this to be an opportunity. i NEED a break...just a new fork in the road...i'm hanging on by a thread and i just don't know what to do anymore.


there were a lot of needs in that last paragraph. i don't know if that's productive on my part but heck if i know how to ask for something appropriately lately. i plan on going to bed early tonight (lots of rest), waking up bright and early, making a good breakfast and heading to the volunteer meeting place. one of the perks of volunteering is you get to attend some of the events on your down time which means i get the opportunity to go to this symposium where folks in the business will discuss finding representation and making connections. i NEED a hungry person in my corner that believes in me and wants to see me clutching that little gold man some day. need need need!

i'm taking this opportunity to chill in my little center of the storm and do what i gotta do before the crazy starts. i would say wish me luck but this is starting to get serious..my sanity is coming into play. i need so much more than luck right now. i need some hard core prayers and some universe shout outs. i'll start. :)


4 comments:

  1. I'll be saying some prayers for you Tishy! I hope wonderful things come your way as a result of the festival! Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Kim.

    : ) i'm taking your good thoughts to bed with me tonight and soakin' in 'em!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Today, the kiwi is on the juice. :)

    ReplyDelete

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