does a tree act in the woods

6.16.2008
so i participated in a table reading of sorts tonight that went so great. it's late but i can't even begin to get ready for bed.

i blog just about every day so when the blogless days start piling up ya know something's up with me. i've been feeling out of sorts lately. for some reason i just couldn't connect with people...couldn't feel their vibes out, etc...just couldn't connect and so it was starting to bleed into my acting work. it sounds confusing maybe but i lost my instinct for how someone would react to a scene. i've had some craptastic things come my way and so i've numbed myself to the point of zombie--it was no bueno for my acting career.

the self doubt was relentlessly egged on by outside noise too. i was just letting it all soak in...totally believing it and feeling like maybe it was time to pack up and move it on out..find a new dream.

then i got a random lovely call from this guy asking me to read and things started looking up. the rehearsal today was boo boo...lol the director focused a lot of critiques my way and it was like all the negative stuff from before just started swimming around in my head. it got to the point where i had to sit down and write out in my script "you're loved. be gentle with yourself." i got some encouraging words from an old friend and really thought about using the gift God gave me to create characters people could love...after that i was on fire!

i got out there and performed my heart out...i flubbed one line but other than that i was in the zone...i just did the dang thing!

after, the writer came up to me and said he would really like my information which is the best kinda compliment i can think of. all in all it was a great moment for me and my spirit...my spirit definitely needed a pick me up...sigh. more than ya know! i know i have the chops to do this lol. i mean i'm elated over a performance that i wasn't paid for nor is it something that will put me on the red carpet anytime soon...it was something though...and it created something and made me feel something so it's something : )

i'm bummed none of my friends showed up (not one) but even that can't phase me...that situation can't affect the feelings of accomplishment. does a tree act in the woods if no one's around? you're damn skippy she does!

3 comments:

  1. YAY!!! I wish I could have been there chick. That would have been awesome to see.

    There's nothing better than shaking off the insecurities and just doing it. Congrats, girl. :)

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  2. I'm so glad the reading went well and so glad you're back on the blog! :) I was starting to worry about you!!!

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  3. good deal don let it fase u and always keep your head up ok

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