Men wake up and smell the vera wang

5.07.2008
You know something’s been bothering me lately about the whole dating game and by george, after reading that bees are dying it’s more evident than ever that the birds and the bees…Men and women…we’re just not doing what we’re naturally supposed to be doing lately and that’s successful dating. (What were you thinking?)
I swear I’ve heard more friends in the past couple of months, myself included, tell story after story of horrid bad dates. I’m finally getting why men fish…It’s the metaphor I say! They like to reel ‘em in only to throw them back out to sea/lake—scaring the poor fish in the process. And you never really get over a hook in the lip. I’m sorry but you don’t.
I’m trying to remember the last time one of my guy buds came to me spouting, “I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. She ripped my heart out”. And since I can’t this is a one-sided blog. So take that fishermen!
I have no clue how to date anymore but I know one thing, give a real name! yeah you heard me. when I was in high school I dated a guy for a year that told me his name was Maudio…turns out it was Sam. Yeah he was a winner. You think that ish would have stopped post grad BUT I just met someone last weekend that introduced himself as “Blaze”…of course I’m in a noisy environment so I just wait for the texting to begin so that I can pull a smooth “how do you spell your name again?”…He writes back “blaze” and I say no thank you. I've passed the time where dating an american gladiator was cool beans. Besides...I don’t date dudes who aren’t decent enough to tell a gal the name his mama gave him. How whack is that?! The fishiness I use to attract these fellows is just that…fishy! I’m over it!
I haven’t mentioned it but i’m not having a positive dating experience ya’ll. With friends telling me all of their horror stories (men not calling, letting friends determine their social lives, etc.) it’s just bonkers city in my head. Guys, you’re being lazy…if you like someone pick up the phone and ask them to hang out if you’re interested. What woman wants to think they’re alone in thinking there’s something cool worth ‘exploring’.
And big boo boo prevention #1: Please PLEASE don’t tell a gal you’re dating a gang of women and you’re deciding which one to go with. It may seem like a good practical deal at first cast but fish will swim in the other direction dude…the bates a little too flashy and cheesy.
That’s it. I’m done ranting for now. I am swearing off men. Yeah, you heard me. It’s all a bunch of hogwash and I’m not gonna take it any longer!!! This little fishy is gonna swim swim swim swim all the way home.
I’m so tired of adding more no no’s to my ever-growing “do not date if” list. Grrr...

3 comments:

  1. Blaze...maybe he really is an American Gladiator...did he have a big neck? lol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. is a bevy of women better lol. have a great weekend and feel free to
    Blog Roll Me

    ReplyDelete
  3. Go figure, Jenn, that I was going to comment on American Gladiators too! Oh, Tish, too funny.

    ReplyDelete

« »
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

.

Luv and Kiwi All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger