i fall back to my knees

5.04.2008
i'm sitting here listening to this new artist b hipped me to. her name is adele. she is british and all things lovely and she makes me cry. her lyrics are sweet and brutal and honest and mine for the day. "to make you feel my love"...

music and films have sent me all over the place emotionally today. i watched the hours this morning. two soul-stirring moments: 1.) the moment virginia tells her husband someone has to die in order for everyone else in the book to appreciate life--profound. hit on a personal level and made sense. and 2.) the acting was good. gave me one more example of what i'm not doing but want to be doing so desperately right now. needless to say, i was a basket case.

i wrote so much in the good ole journal today about uncertainty and all that jazz that accompanies my crazy career dreams and any other uncertainty i could put my finger on. i studied lines...asked myself if this acting class is something i should do. i've figured out that my pocket book will determine the outcome. i spent a hefty amount of money last night for b's birthday bash so now i don't have the cash to fork over...unless they take some credit or will go off my word that i'll holla at 'em next pay period then i'm out this month. lol..nice right? it works for me.

...it was also a day of profound emails that all will somehow piece together my questions into formidable answers.

just got back from watching "iron man" which i enjoyed a great deal (i now need my own super suit and power). now i will crash. this weekend ended on a better note than what i thought it would. maybe this week to come will be filled with some yeses. no?

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