better

5.17.2008
i love it when the tides turn. sorry this will be a bit long. hang with me.

so this week was no good...the rose colored glasses just weren't doing their job and i just couldn't get out of the funk...around 2 pm i knew i was destined for some wine... a big ole bottle of it. lucky for me, my girl e had invited me over for a game of catch up on the last two months and she likes the stuff too so yeah :)

we did it up which totally turned my whole frickin week around. we hit up ralphs and raided the deli...a little pasta and chicken grabbin never hurt anyone. then we headed back to burbank for some new kids on the block watching and some talky talky. there's something about
the way they've done up the place, the overall look and feel of her space...it's just made for sitting around and feeling good and feeling good i felt indeed.

i left e's place, blasting some colbie on my stereo and feeling like i had turned a new and better page.

this morning i woke up bright and early and went to my last table reading for that project i was helping with and it was so much fun. by this time everyone was comfortable with each other...we were cuttin' up, having fun, discussing where we all are in our acting careers, it was crazy helpful but i felt a little scattered. no matter where i turned as i sat at the table i could hear someone laying down some knowledge about acting...traveling and living abroad, seeing one of shakespeare's plays at the globe theater in london, what jobs to take if you're trying to make it, who's got an agent, who's got a manager, who's lost...

i kept thinking "get their information tish. ask questions!"...which i did thank goodness. i met some amazing actors that seriously felt like new fam...no one was competing...no one was holding back. constructive criticism all around. the writer that had the screenplay i auditioned to read for told me that he liked having me around--he thought i brought the characters to life. compliment! it all felt so good. someone just told me i should surround myself with other people in the industry. talk about great timing. it felt so good to do something...you have no idea.

i'm still a bit frustrated with my career but i feel like i'm in a space that promotes action and that's better than nothing.

a woman approached me today and asked if i could help her feed her two small children that were holding her hands. i felt horrible that i didn't have that much cash on me but i gave her what i could and now i can't get her out of my head. i went back later to take her some food but she wasn't there...it's moments like that which remind me that i need to stop complaining so much and get some much needed perspective. really.

i'm not saying i'm cured of my incessant worry and downtrodden mood swings but i'm taking it a little easier on myself today. this video helps...hee hee. enjoy






2 comments:

  1. i'm so glad that you are feeling better about stuff-sometimes the hardest thing is to be at peace with the present and to enjoy the journey along with the "goals." sometimes we all get so caught up in the goal that we don't even enjoy how we got there--so i'm super proud of you! yippee!

    ReplyDelete

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