line by line

4.30.2008
today was such a challenge for me. i was sitting at my work computer listening to a podcast that discussed one's purpose and how you know you're on the right path. in that moment a rush of anxiety hit me and i started to panic...wondering if was indeed on my right path. only minutes before i had just whined that i hated acting classes...hated having to memorize sheets and sheets of scripts only to get ripped apart and made to repeat the process over and over again...

i immediately called j at her job (calls are rare and special cuz people near me are nosy beasts) and she set me straight. all she had to say was "everybody hates going to class...no one likes to practice" and i was fine...lol. that's right. no one likes that ish. even though i should enjoy every bit of the process of what i love that ain't happening. acting requires one to open up the deep dark areas of one's heart and mind that you'd rather not eff with. while i'm performing it's a completely different matter though...i become something else...my mind takes a back seat and i black out in a sense...and i feel good...a worthy sacrifice.

this 15 minute emotional rollercoaster didn't end though. as soon as i got home i started freaking out again. there are some folks out there that don't understand that i'm trying to make acting my livelihood...just like you'd study for the mcat, i study lines...it's no less important but everybody and their dog wants to interupt my process...i couldn't sit for more than 10 minutes...memorizing was becoming a challenge.

then my gal pal lex called and i started whining to her about everthing and as soon as i purged i was able to just soak it in. i've memorized a good portion of my script. life on a wednesday night is good. for the rest of the weekend--no tv, no phone calls once i've started studying, no internet.

give me memorized lines or give me death!

"i know what you think it is, but it's not that. i don't keep his sneakers because i still love him..."

there i go there i go there i go...

3 comments:

  1. Kill your TV. Long live the lines! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kill your TV. Long live the lines! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. welcome to the world of blogging sista


    hope u dont mind the drive by and do chk me out one day if u can, ill be back.

    and if u like what u read, do let me know, maybe be even consider adding me to your blog roll

    ReplyDelete

« »
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

.

Luv and Kiwi All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger