1 + 1 + 1+ 1 = the final four


can you believe it?!!! THAT my friends was THE best ncaa tourney game i've seen to date. i couldn't sit still the entire game. i was up on my feet, jumping and screaming...holding my breath, screaming, high fivin', screaming lol...ahhhhh!

davidson 57....kansas 59!!!!!!!

that was a life-time high...college basketball is why i got up today...kansas ball is why i'll dream all nice like tonight ; )

this is the good stuff

saturday was a good day my friends.

d and i got together to cook and watch some good flicks and it was the best! we started off by going to this lovely little cupcake shop down in beverly hills, sprinkles, and chowing down. i made myself sick by eating two of
those little pieces of heaven in a 20 minute period...that's dangerous man. for all the other folks out there that can't have chocolate like me (it's been hard ya'll...really hard) i recommend the strawberry. i bit in and a world of strawberry goodness filled my mouth. i kid you not. i mentioned heaven earlier... i plan on having a banana one here soon...oh yes i bought 4 :) don't get it twisted.

after cupcake time we began our cooking adventure. mission: to make a kick arse meatloaf...and that we did. i've figured out it's really fun to cook as long as you have someone in the kitchen helping with all of that dang prep work. it took us an hour to make it...together so i can't imagine doing that ish alone. it was freakin' good as heck too.

besides the meatloaf with special glaze we were kickin' it gangsta guy style-like. we had the games going, ordered some wings and pop...it was so chill...these are the moments of my life that i adore. we squeezed in two films too. i realize i'm weird for not having seen "top gun" in the past but whatever...i'm human aight? we watched that...it was a good one of course and "chasing amy" lol...you can imagine the great conversations d and i picked out of that ish.

i love having folks in my life that i can do chill things like that with. we frickin' laughed and goofed off all day long...i almost peed my pants a couple of times. figured out i'm not such a bad cook (there's hope for my raman noodle preparin' butt afterall!) and that i can live in a state of perfect bliss if the right team makes my bracket sing, i've got some good flicks under my belt and have some friends that enjoy sharing such things with me. life's pretty nice.

this morning i got up and walked to a coffee shop with miss bree...good conversation about our favorite go-to topics lol (anglophiles rock!), new music Bree burned for me and green smoothy coffee substitutions does a body good. now it's time to shower and prepare for elite 8 madness.

this weekend goes in the books for ideal delightfulness.

on the acting front: i'm still getting vague acting advice that i can't wrap my head around...i hear how other people are doing it but i haven't heard that little crack of info that is an inevitable cling-to...that one piece of knowledge that works for me and will set me on a visible path i can work with...tomorrow's my audit class so we'll if i find any juicy nuggets there.

rock chalk jayhawks!!!

march madness

ah...to be in the throws of march madness is a beautiful beautiful thing. yesterday i went and watched the game (the KU vs Villanova game for all of you new folks) and had a rockin' good time eatin' wings and french fries...drinking beer (i'm paying for that dearly today) and high fivin' with the other jayhawks. watching the tourney games has been a passion of mine for a number of years now...always had a blast but i have to say last night was pretty much at the top of the coolest game watching list. i was sitting at a table with a bunch of folks when i saw an older woman out of the corner of my eyes....i turn to the good sir to my right, martin, and say, "hey that looks like i dream of genie"...2 seconds later my gal maria says, "did you guys notice that i dream of genie is here?" (well she said her real name but i've never been good with names so work with me.)

now i have to digress for a bit to tell you that i've seen lots of cool celebrities since i moved to la la land but i've never had the guts to ask for photos...i never want to intrude, be annoying, yadda yadda so i sat there nervously wondering...hoping i was doing a good job playing cool.

so yeah i failed. she got up to leave and i jumped on asking the dear soul if i could take one with her. since she's married to a jayhawk and therefore awesome she agreed and now i've taken my first celeb photo shot. she's an icon for pete's sake!

luv & kiwi is movin' on up!

i'm always slow to the game. i started my myspace blog in july of '05 so that my darling friends from back home could keep track of my interesting adventures in la la land. never in a million years did i imagine the thing would become my super drug of choice. it's sad when something happens to you and the first thing that flashes thru your noggin is, "boy that would make for a great blog".

so heres to my latest, my greatest, my greatest inspiration...(you know you can't help but sing it!)

i put 5 on it

man today was just chalk full of good stuff to laugh about!

1. i gave b a new nickname....from this day forward she will be referred to (in person) as "suga lips"...lol i had the poor girl in hysterical tears of laughter today at our place of employment. gotta love it.

2. i have a good pal named evvie who has been trying to freud/dr. laura me up for the longest time about my ability to go dumb when i see volde...he just sucks the frickin everything out of ya...i.e. it’s awkward and that’s distracting...today we were walking out of work together and we bump into him...she goes dumb in mid sentence and goes silent lol...after he passed we both started bustin’ a gut. SEE! it’s not just me! i’m cured i say!!!

3. i have a new buddy named aiden who shares my taste for every kinda music out there and we did a little ipod swap at work. oscar junior hearts aiden’s appreciation for him.

4. i thought of two really great songs about strong women waiting for some dude to call them and it made me chuckle. people try to give me the "tsk tsk" about my previous cell phone hang up but hey...if alicia keys "how come you don’t call me anymore"and jill’s "i waited for your call but you chose not to call me i wonder what happened were you inside a safe space and too i wondered were you thinking of me and if you were why was i feeling so lonely by the phone"then i can definitely rep my blog yo! ha! take that all you haters!

5. i spoke to my buddy ole pal corn today...background--corn was my homie-joined-at-the-hip bud back in college who was mr. renaissance neo soul hip hop dude...had the locs, the underground hip hop and an intense passion to be involved with everything cool. we shared some music updates. :) it was a music kinda day

...five lovely points of happiness.

death to nokia!!!

my phone has come alive. suddenly it’s learned to mock me. i swear up and down i hear the faint whirring of a vibrating ring tone, run to it...pick it up, look it over, set it back only to do the same thing 5 minutes later. no texts...no missed calls...shake the dang phone. nada.

my cell phone will be the death of my sanity. don’t you just hate it when you really want someone to just call ya back and it’s just not happening?...i used to write poems about this ish as a pre-teen dang it! it’s the most frustrating part of dating and i really hate it...even after they’ve obviously overstepped the "it’s alright you didn’t call" threshold your silly butt still wants them to call just so you can feel rest assured you didn’t bat your eyes at one of the devil’s spawn children.

this is how absurd a gal can get. the ironic part...i totally didn’t call a guy back that wanted to go out...i just don’t enjoy talking to him lol...so calling him to tell him i’m really not interested in picking up that date gives me the heeby jeebies (i know i know...but we never went out on A date therefore i’m somewhat justified--THIS guy that hasn’t called went out with me for my birthday for pete’s sake...brought me a flower...wrote me cute texts about not being able to wait before seeing me again) last night my brain wouldn’t shut down...it just kept playing all of the possible scenarios over and over and it wasn’t cool dude...

i had a lovely wake up call today...thomas crown (remember it’s a nickname folks) sent his evite to his house party coming up...which reminded me i’m going to new york soon to attend that house party with him and meet all of his new ny fam. a house party he decided to book because i would be in town (blush) why am i mulling over some unfinished drama when i have (have had for awhile now) a budding relationship if you will with a good guy??? as soon as my brain and emotions get on the same page i’ll let you know...part of it is the long distance thing but seriously!

ok that’s enough...just thought i’d share some single gal probs...people in relationships love to hear this mess...it makes them squeeze their loved ones closer and let out a big ole sigh of relief. :)

in other tish news i set up an appointment to audit an acting workshop for next monday. the coach is a very talented and well-known actress that is doing the darn thing and just so happens to have a bunch of big wig black directors and producer friends that drop by and search for new talent...who knows what getting into a class like that will do for me. all i know is i have to enjoy the process and i love being in class. i picked out a snazzy monologue that my dear hollywood twin julia so coldly spouted once in a movie--i’m good to go. i’m going to this monologue slam thing with some of the buddies at the end of april...the acting train is a’whistlin! all aboard...next step...actual acting!

things are lookin’ up and checkin’ out!

i really hope tonight i sleep better and my whatever it is listens to my head and forgets about my sneaky little cell phone. tishy, ya gotta stop waiting by the phone...life’s callin and right now it’s not mobile.

free therapy

i mentioned in a previous blog i’m reading this book that helps one find the peace within. it’s working...you definitely find yourself slipping away from society’s stressful grip and just allowing negative stuff to not hit as hard...so someone you like disappoints you...it’s ok...people start to dump their negative stuff on you at work...you learn to recognize it and let it pass... BUT at the same time i’m practicing finding peace i feel like i’m losing my sense of drama that i tap into in order to act. for a couple of weeks now i’ve felt like losing my ability to just break down in tears was gonna hurt me...the book might say maybe i don’t need to be an actress but it’ll be a looong time before supposed teachings reach my ear. lol for the time being i’d like to find a balance.

i’m thinking about all of this...flipping thru my recorded programs when i see i have some "in treatment" shows saved. i clicked, i watched and i figured out how to stay present with my self while connecting with other people...

ain’t randomness fun that way?

the show is pretty freaking amazing. i feel like i’m watching someone in my acting class battling it out in front of the coach...it’s so intimate and raw and i feel like it gets to the nitty gritty of acting. no music playing in the background to assist the audience (i.e. "oh suspenseful music....this guy must be on the verge of getting angry") it’s just two people (sometimes three) having a very intense and personal conversation. you never feel as though you as the audience are being dumped on...you’re just observing...present in the situation if you will ; )

good show. i recommend it...if not to find the answers to your budding acting career, maybe you can watch for a dose of some free therapy ; )

-the snow falls, each flake in its appropriate place-

zen saying

funny bone moments

i was exhausted last night you’ll have to forgive me...missed some funny moments had to share:

first of all never trust my ears in the car when elevation changes occur and loud music is present. case in point: we’re driving along, b mentions so and so is frank sinatra’s daughter. i ask who that is. she mumbles and i respond, "who in the heck would go by the name naked pasta?!" b looked at me crazy and then her and jennifer started bustin’ out laughing

...um tishy. try nikka costa...wow.

second funny bone moment: first night at the club...music’s loud--b and i are having a hard time communicating--we keep getting up to each other’s ears and screaming stuff...we both start alternating trying to talk to one another and BAM...we straight up kissed lol

to top it off--the heifa and i start wiggin out in front of this guy that was having a conversation with us. lol. i’m sure he was quite amused. sigh...we’re a hoot i say. five minutes of eh ahhhhh ehh ahhhh! gotta love it...

third funny moment: we’re walking down the strip and this annoying dude keeps shoving his cd in my face saying he made it all by himself and i should really take a listen...i continue walking, never faltering, and just keep saying no followed by a ’that’s nice’ all of a sudden he stops walking and yells at the top of his lungs, "and that’s why you’re whack!!!" the girls and i start busting out laughing...

apparently i’m whack lol

i don’t know maybe not so funny for ya’ll to read but i got a kick out of that mess...loony little weekend...and that’s all before cough syrup entered the picture!

home sweet home

ah...home sweet home.

last week i was in chicago, this weekend i went to vegas. i feel like i’ve been living out of a lovely suitcase all my life and now i’ve finally come home to my lovely life. i always wonder why we take vacations to get away only to realize how much we truly love our lives...of course you get sad when the good times (i.e. vacation bliss) ends but there’s just something about opening up your door and throwing your stuff down. mmm mmm mmmm! ain’t nothin better.

so earlier i was having issues accepting unconventional constructive criticism but now i’m all good. now i can discuss chi town and sin city properly. :)

i love the month of march...march madness, my birthday, the birth of spring...ya just gotta love it. this march was quite fun because j decided to humor with me a trip to a cold vacation extravaganza...bless her heart--she’s had months of bitter cold and still agreed to chi town. it’s a beautiful city. i felt like i could watch the people who inhabit that remarkable city for days on end...it just seems like a friendship city if that makes sense. i saw large groups of friends out and about the entire time just laughin’ it up. it’s new york with the midwest’s easy-going hospitality.

we saw wicked, ate great food (GREAT!) like gino’s deep dish, chicago-style hot dogs...the works and saw some great stuff while touring the city and walking thru the art institute. oh! we also saw horton hears a who. loved it. totally recommend it. i almost cried at the end. shut up.

the last night we were there we met up with my girl laura for some local’s neighborhood fun. we went to this nightclub, hustled our way in so that we wouldn’t have to pay and then hustled drinks all night long...lol j and i were a bit disheartened by the music (if i hear one more song about a girl shakin something i’m gonna puke. i don’t wanna get low, down, wet....none of it!) i figure my distaste for the music is a sign of respect i have for what i feed my brain...has nothing to do with the fact i’m getting older ; )

vegas was vegas lol...you get pretty, you dance, you eat good food...yadda yadda yadda. i got sick the last night and had to leave the girls at the club (it was THAT bad) and boy was i bummed. my girl met a boy that she actually would consider calling. history in the making and i was too busy crying in some taxi because the dude couldn’t hear me...i lost my voice. tishy was feeling like doodoo!

in all, my march trips were cool and i had a blast but what i love most about them is that i wasn’t miserable to come home afterwards...it was a good indicator that i’m much more happy with where my life is going...what i leave behind when i go. no more trips until the end of april (then it’s NEW YORK YO!)

here’s to birthdays that teach you to love the extraordinary getaway and appreciate the every day.

p.s. i heart obama!

can i just say that obama’s race speech was the most inspiring message i could have read today...had me in tears. when was the last time america had inspiration like this? really?!

on second thought

i’m reading a book right now that directs its readers to inner peace and by gosh if it’s not actually rubbin’ off on a sister.

I’ve found lately I hesitate a lot before writing…stuff still flows from my fingers on a regular basis because I have to get it out but I’m more aware that one day’s rant will be another days strengthening point. Take my last couple of blogs for instance lol…i came close to not publishing them because i knew the anger and despair would pass eventually...

Yes I was devastated and obviously upset but it didn’t last nearly as long as you’d assume it could have. I got out and walked with a friend of mine last night and afterwards I couldn’t even remember why it was so bad to find out all the news that was dished previously. Crazy? I blame the book…or credit it if we’re lookin’ at the situation in a positive light. Talk about clearing one’s head!

So yeah I’m not upset, angry, hurt by anyone…i lost the reasons to take it all so personally…it’s kind of pointless really.

I always say don’t confuse the skinny with being thin skinned. (I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times more) I’m already back on the wagon looking at other avenues that have me a bit excited. There’s this competition I’m gonna check out in april, the tvi thing and my girl bree’s possible play connect are all good stuff to look forward to…I’ll actually BE in the mix. Pretty nice right?

Tonight I’m hanging with my girl Rushell for an extended birthday dinner at a restaurant in culver city. The gal gives me mad peace…I’m addicted to calm positive folks lately lol…it’s a drug! So yeah…for those that were worried, no need to be

Skinny girl is just fine!

no use crying over spilled venom

there’s no use crying over spilled venom...

i gave myself last night to try and figure out what it meant to read that email and try to figure out how i felt but i wasn’t too successful. i take that as a sign that maybe i shouldn’t stay in this place of pain and uncertainty for long.

i’m sitting here at my computer and i can feel i’m a little off balance...my head wants to sway to one side like my room is at a slant. weird? i think i was just blown a little off kilter and since it’s a little uncomfortable i’m gonna shake it off pretty darn quick.

ok so here’s the deal. there’s no more tv show about a mixed girl. ok. now it’s time to start looking into new acting classes. there’s this place called tvi that i went to before. it’s expensive as heck so i gave them the deuce but i think it’s time to invest a bit, don’t you think? i wanna have real roles before the year is up :)

so that’s what i’m doing today. this path is hard but these kind of road blocks are easy to get around...there’s always room to go another way. lol...it’s so hard to do this when you’re scared, exhausted and clueless but i’m out here going at it blind...i just keep walking ahead.

weary blues

Beware those weary blues that creep up from behind

With tempting songs they come a’crawlin to strip you of your mind

Beware those lovely promises those weary blues be makin’

Those trumpets may be blowin’ but yo air they sho be takin’

Beware those damn weary blues...so easy to fall in synch

To lose yourself within the notes and ignore the subtle kinks

Beware you weary blues of this woman you done crossed

I’ve heard the rhymes and did my time, my ears you’ve done now lost


it’s so hard

i know this should be a happy blog filled with all the good stuff that happened in chicago but it’s not. lol sorry to burst bubbles. it was great don’t get me wrong and some day soon i’ll pull out my journal notes and type away but i just got some bummer news that’s left me speechless.

i was seriously hit by a drive-by email. an email that seriously shot thru my heart and killed any joy i may have had today. writer friend sends me a casual email about some stuff and then at the very end i get the news. the mixed chicks pilot has been shot down for good...her and halle have moved on to another project and oh yeah, jurnee smollett will be playing the writer...i wasn’t an option there.

i’ve learned an important lesson...in the world of acting it’s who knows you and how many people know you that gets you the job. i know i’m tired from traveling but that seriously was a low blow to everything i’ve been resting on lately...i put every tish egg in that mixed chicks basket...i just knew i’d found the best way into the biz but i guess not.

i’m about to go for a walk...a different kind of walk than the one i had the other day...this is one that drains me of any energy i may have had left so that i won’t cry my eyes out.

it’s so hard...when people tell you it’s hard, they mean it. it’s hard.

chicago and all that jazz


my date just ended and now i begin to pack. today was one of those great days...they just keep on coming and i just keep on embracing them. everyone at work today was so great...cards and small gifts that meant the world to me. someone actually gave me a gift card to barnes because they had seen me reading once in the cafeteria...i mean that’s the kinda stuff that makes me tear up. thoughtfulness should be appreciated way more...cuz it seriously does wonders for the recipient.

great people around me...it was a beautiful sunny day, felt good all over and then got to go on a birthday date with this great guy that i think is just the coolest thing since sliced whole wheat bread ;) (the 100% stuff)

we went to my all time favorite burger joint in pasadena and chowed down on some hamburgers....murder burgers as he called ’em and then talked and talked and talked...as i watched and watched and watched ;) he even brought me a flower ;) old school sweetness. that’s what i’m talking about.

now i pack for more birthday goodness and love. tomorrow at the butt crack of dawn, i tish, will board a plane to go visit the best bud in chi town. mini adventures with a travel bud are a must. we’ve done the road trip across the u.s. thang, the new orleans thang, the florida, rural south and cali thing...now it’s time to hit up the second city and see what kind of great ish we can get into there.

i wish i could take b with... if you see me throwing up some weird circle thing in my pics it’s for her. had to make sure she knew we had carried her with us thru out the trip ; ) i’m gangsta like that.

so yeah that’s it. i’m about to finish packing and then i’m gonna hit the sack...that’s if i can sleep. the anticipation is killin a sista!

luv & kiwi...back to middle earth i go!!!

lets take a long walk

i have to prepare ya...this here blog is gonna start sounding really hippy like so brace yourself.

i had this really weird morning at work. one of my email pals started laying some heavy stuff on me...just had something negative to say about every freaking thing i would bring up and it bowled me over. at one point i was trying to explain something and i felt this weird panic attack coming on. i couldn't breath and my chest got heavy...i could just feel the crap he was throwing at me and finally i snapped and had to tell him it might be best to cut the chit chat out completely. there are just some people that refuse to put on those rose colored glasses...that's fine but who wants to be best pals with the energy vampires of the world? not i, said tish and so it was done.

the rest of the day was pretty good but i just couldn't shake the muck he left me with so i decided to take a walk thru my neighborhood. i got out, set oscar junior to my current favorite song (a joss stone tune actually) and hit the streets. i don't know what happened but the smell of bbq, laundry detergent and flowers overwhelmed me...i started having all of these sensory flashbacks of good times and my heart kinda started to burst. i'm walking around about to cry-ridiculously happy...over absolutely nothing but some flowers and memories. i'm loving life right now...that was the best walk of my life...people always say their life flashes before their eyes when they feel threatened but i just experienced flashbacks based on my life being blessed.

i just want to hug someone and kiss 'em smack dab on the cheek lol...you feel that?! what you're experiencing is the affects of me high on life lol and loving every moment of it...even the blisters i picked up along the way :)

stranger you always knew

have you ever met someone that posesses qualities of all the men you've met in your life...so much so you feel like you've known the guy for a long time? (your father's birthday, a friend's scent, smiles like another...)

yesterday i went out with b and her sis to hadaka--that cool sushi restaurant i used to rave about a few blogs back. (naughty sushi) and we had a great time hanging out and meeting up with the trumpet guy (paying attention?) and his friends.

i'm kinda unnerved by how crazy last night was...i'm kinda at a loss for words. if you're single long enough you kind of forget you can connect to someone. you learn and know that you're enough and you don't have to have someone. now the cool new step is learning how to hang on to that independence and continued thirst to keep evolving (we tend to stop and get comfortable when we become a we) and not mind letting a man hold your hand.

isn't it crazy how we can imagine stuff all day long-to the point where we've thought about it enough we should be comfortable with it-only to freak out when it pops up anyways? crazy friday...

it's a new day

Ya have to forgive me, I've been having a lovely week but haven't really been able to translate it to pen/keyboard quite the way I usually can. here goes though

-I started reading this book called, a new day and it's just about my favorite thing to do lately. At first I hated the darn thing. I couldn't wrap my head around the ideas the author was proposing but after awhile I started catching on and really getting it. I guess the benefits of understanding outweighed putting it down and continuing the life I've been sleep walking in. so now I'm addicted and catch myself starting to look at life and the people around me in different ways and in my opinion calmer ones. The book basically describes how to be at peace with yourself and how you see the world. Ya can't go wrong with that. so yeah dealing with stress is always a plus in my book.

-I went to a poetry jam last night and it was dope. I used to attend flypoet, this monthly gathering, back in the day but then I started battling the money blues and it kinda fell to the side. My writer friend was up for something new though so I had to bring it back…I invited b along and the three of us showed up and had a blast. Ya gotta love poetry slams. A plethora of actions will happen throughout the night: you're either bobbin your head with agreement, laughing with your peeps (they can say some pretty outlandish things), blushing, cat call-screaming or snappin your fingers with appreciation…I sipped some wine and learned some new stuff…let a poet impress me on stage and got straight up WOO'ED by a trumpet player named chris lowery…ya got that folks? This dude from the jazz band playing that night was frickin amazing…It didn't help that the man was beautiful...sigh lol


in all seriousness though, the band started playing and I caught my blood starting to heat up…they frickin started the show with one of my favorite mos def songs of all time…jazz band bouncin' to some hip hop? Can you say IBM?!!!

My week is just fine and dandy, calm as a cucumber nice. Today is Thursday, which means tomorrow's Friday and I like that idea a lot. I plan to get an hour long facial and a little eyebrow wax action on this weekend as well as some quality time with little ole me. my birthday is next week so I'm going to chi town with j. I frickin can't wait…can't wait to experience winter for the first time in a long time, can't wait to see the city, try new foods, laugh with my girls, shop, see wicked again…I mean it just doesn't get any better than that folks. I just wanna soak up every non-current-place of employment moment I can and enjoy this lovely life o' mine.

there's just something great bout taking things slow and enjoying what's in front of you.

update: the writer friend gave trumpet boy my number...luv and kiwi are in definite harmony today lol

sing it ms simone

march first...

yesterday's blog was so weird for me to write. i felt like i had to put something down...to get out the crap jumping around in my noggin but i never got to a point...never figured out exactly what i was trying to settle in my brain.

this morning i woke up and figured that mess out. i've been so lost lately. i wrote this incredibly long journal entry today and started listing the qualities i want to keep about myself that either i or important people in my life have defined as belonging to me and one, (my empathy), kind of hit a nerve. i have been so caught up in "why is everyone doing this to me? why is this happening to me" that i kinda forgot that everything's not about me...that doesn't necessarily mean i'm gonna put up with the crap people dish at me...it means i can't remember the last time i really listened to someone else and truly understand what's going on in their world...i've become self-absorbed in unhealthy ways. for instance if a guy doesn't call when i want him to i question how he could do that to me...when in all actuality the dude is living his life lol. or a friend gets busy with life and doesn't call for awhile...i take it as a personal attack...these kind of mental deductions are self absorbed like a mutha! it's ok to really focus on the you and all...it's just when you make everyone else revolve around you that you run into dead ends...or late night leap year blogs that make no gosh darn sense. it's crazy but luckily once you look in the mirror and see the person you've become, you can see the things you always have the power to change as well. i'm ready to go

march is my birthday month...i tend to celebrate the whole dang time. it's the best recharge/jump start for the new year and more than ever it's time to celebrate and set up the year to come.

in the words of the great nina simone, "it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life...and i'm feeling good".
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