revolutionary petunia chat

1.03.2008
so here's the gripe. (warning: feminism/womanism is about to break out)




so...i've been told three times in past relationships that i was selfish because i couldn't and wouldn't falter on going after my dreams...each of these guys thought flappin their jaws to the sounds of marriage would be enough for lil ole me to forget about any silly notions of an acting career. i won't lie. that ish hurt and still causes a twitch from time to time but overall those dudes were jokes.



now i have a new dilemma. what happens when guys i'm not even serious with start pullin' ish? here's the scenario. a guy friend (not even someone i date!) is coming into town, wants me to have dinner with him but this night just happens to be the same day i'll be on set of a will ferrell movie meeting the director...who my writer has currently been hyping me up to.



(ya'll didn't know i had hype folks that gas me up when need be?!)



so i tell this guy that it's more than likely not gonna be a good night for me and he throws a minor little pout my way. he squashed it quick don't get me wrong but for a minute i started to heat up. i told him when it comes to acting i can be an arse...nothing can get in my way and i know that may sound heartless and cold but damn no one would say a dang thing if i was a guy with the same drive and dedication.



i shouldn't have to sit there and explain that this is my life...my dream...my future. that's bogus! ok i am a bit heated actually. why do i have to explain, apologize, do jack ish. if i say an acting thing has come up then you say bet we'll meet another time. it's not like i'm halle berry and have ample opportunities here...



in case i've been shy and haven't sufficiently explained my intentions for being in california, specifically los angeles i'm here for acting. i gave up my family time, my best friend time, a love, a possible marriage--basically a life for this and i'll be damned if you're gonna make me feel guilty cuz you feel like grubbin.



can a career-focused woman out there please give me some words for these types of folks cuz i seriously can't put it any other way?!!

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