call me your wedding date

7.31.2007
i've uncovered a new leaf...created a new spin on "always a bridesmaid, never a bride"...




i'm the wedding date guru.



for the second time in less than two weeks a boy has asked little ole tish to be their date for a wedding. sigh...i guess it's a compliment...they know i'll act right but alas...you know where i'm going with this lol. i will say no more.



it's anniversary week and i have received a lovely little audition from my casper-like agent for canon cameras. i just used a canon this weekend and the silly thing was a poop on some of my shots. that would be quite ironic. should i even type such a thing?



i just lifted some weights...did some squat thrusts (hee hee) gotta be in tip top shape for all of my many upcoming weddings and auditions. what a life.

happy anniversary dreamer

7.29.2007
one more thing:




today is my anniversary. i've now lived here for two years exactly. i was flying in to los angeles earlier this evening and i couldn't help but flashback to the day i arrived. i was so scared...basically having panic attacks every couple hundred miles in. i still don't know to this day where the strength came for me to drive out here and stay when my best friend flew home and i was all alone for the first time in my life but i had it...i cried and cried but i stayed...



i'm really proud of myself actually. i had NO idea what los angeles had in store for me..and now i have a life here...i know my way around these crazy freeways (hee hee) i've made some terrific friends, learned some AMAZING (yet hard) lessons...i'm strong and resilient (still neurotic but hey, it keeps life interesting) and i'm totally in love with who i've become. (always good to spend your anniversaries with the one you love ya know)



this has been a great day too..makes sense that i would come back to los angeles on the exact day...happy anniversay dreamer. happy anniversay

kansas city and all that jazz

i know not where to begin. something amazing happened this weekend and i don't know if i can really express it in a blog...but i'll try. (sorry if it's somewhat skatterbrained. i've just spent 8 hours flying home)




so i went to kansas city this weekend for my boy terry's wedding. little background: mr. terry and i went to college together and even though we don't talk every day on the phone this guy is one of my best guy friends. he has this infectious personality where you just can't help but smile and laugh in his presence. he just fills those around him with joy and so seeing the boy with the million dollar smile light up when the person that gives him that smile came down the aisle was dope...i ain't got to lie to kick it. i teared up a bit. especially when his sister sang a song to the couple...man. i love love. i really do. i was in such a happy go-lightly mood because of those two.



now i have to back up a bit. so the plane ride on friday was awesome. i met this AMAZINGLY fabulous guy who randomly struck up a conversation with me about the midwest. turns out we both went to ku and so he takes me under his successful little wing. he works as a financial guru for oprah, p diddy and some other impressive folks and basically lives this crazy spectacular life. he let me try on a three carot diamond ring from tiffany's that he had just bought for his mom...yes i was a dork and took pictures..no one would believe that mess if i hadn't! we talked for the two hour stand still on the runway and the 2 hour flight there...it was great and he said he'd totally help me with connections into the industry. how do i meet these people?! I LOVE IT! our plane touched down at 2 in the morning and i didn't even care...i was on such a euphoric trip (literally!)lol...i love meeting people on planes.



my best pal in the world j and her fiance came and got me from the airport and i got to see their new home they just bought..and also got to go with them to say goodbye to the apartment back in lawrence that i loved for three years. this weekend just came together...had great bbq since it doesn't exist out here in california...had lunch with my parents and friend vikk meister this morning, talked with jen into the nights...she had me teary eyed last night over martinis...it's good to have a 'person'...that someone you can talk about anything with...she seriously knows EVERYTHING about me..she gets more than even my darn journal for pete's sake and every moment spent with her seriously is a wonderful recharge. : )



she met mr. basketball at the wedding and he was his goofy silly self which made her giggle. the man is smart...j is definitely the way into my heart that's for darn sure...



i read this amazing passage from my book today about how we have temporary soul mates that come into our lives and help break open our hearts so that more people fit in...i'm not ashamed or scared to admit that this weekend i had love for all lol...and that some day i, tish merritt, could possibly marry someone. ms marriage-phobe said it....indeed. who wouldn't want what i saw around me all weekend long? even my parents were making me gush at the restaurant this morning...j and i kept calling them over and they were too distracted with playing kissy face together. too cute...



all in all, this was a great weekend for reflection (lots of airplane me time) and celebrating...more of those infamous good times that give me so much happiness. the fairy godfather, best friend, married couple and friend reunion helped me realize something that i need to realize a whole lot more--i have an amazing and blessed life. there are all of these moments that i can hug myself with. and even more crazy...the best is yet to come!



kansas city pictures will post shortly. i'm running on pure love crack right now and it's running out. time for bed!

a mountain i say

7.25.2007
i've mentioned before that i have a corner of the couch in my bedroom that i use as my favorite spot. i read, eat, zone …whatever in this tiny little area and so it's expected that the rest of the couch will accumulate crap from time to time…currently the area beside me houses a mountain of mail…a mountain indeed. Somehow i think i secretly love my poor litte life because I've created this mountain and this mountain mocks me.


it's not all bad though…time to renew the essence magazine, nordstroms is having a sale (that i can't possibly even think about but window mind shopping is oh so fun), i'm a great driver so my insurance peeps have deducted a mess out of my monthly bill (yeah for nice & cautious driving!), tiffany's new summer collection is out...sigh (i won't even go there!) and hallmark has a new bouquet with bead thingies…how much do you think you know about me now?





come to think of it…i love my little mountain of mail.





switching subjects: i love my neighborhood. it's quiet and totally suburban and perfectly charming but this week it's totally stepped outside the box. i've heard mad sirens, choppers and loud music…i've officially been transported to the bronx and i love it. where's my pizza damn it!?





i have a crazy life oh-so-different than most of my friends and at times i feel like a doofus but i'm learning to love my crazy little improv script of a life.

my friend's short film

7.24.2007
one of my buds created this beautiful piece of work: check it out. i love having actor friends lol...sigh

i propose

i am the biggest sap i know. i am utterly in love with this show on one of the chick flick stations called "i propose"...every time ole boy gets down on one knee and the look of confusion hits the gal i lose it....fanning the air in front of my mouth..big ole tears in the eyes...sigh.




hi my name is tish and i'm a cheese-aholic.



i've started a new routine because of said show. i come home from work, work out, shower, eat and the enjoy a nice 30 minutes of that dang show. i only allow one...who knows what would frickin happen if i let it keep running one right after the other...yikes.



i'm starting to get really excited because i leave for kansas city in a couple of days....home i go. i'm going to watch my boy marry his girl....i wonder if all the proposal shows will help desensitize me from the tear extravaganza or make it worse...gulp.



oh! total side note. so a friend invited me to this new site called goodreads.com and i have found my heaven. if you're a bookworm like me totally get on and be my friend. we'll have an e-bookclub...(pushing up my glasses)



gotta love it!

planet la

7.22.2007
in no way am i attempting to perpetuate the stereotype that midwest gals are simple and naive but i've seriously spent the weekend in planet los angeles (first time) and it was definitely something i've never known before. apparently the valley has sheltered me from that world quite well.




i have a friend who lives on planet los angeles which is a goofy little tish-ism meaning "one who is very wealthy and is far far removed from the likes of me"



my adventure began when my friend wanted for me to meet up with him at the hotel he would be staying at. i arrive at this posh secret location and turn into the circle drive and automatically read the valet's thoughts "what in the heck is this piece-o-crap sebring doing tarnishing my circle drive...he opens my door, i politely say hello and he curtly replies back "you do know that the fee for valet is $24"...(cuz apparently i don't look like i've got $24 on me...ouch)



-alients from planet los angeles, point 1

-tish zip



so i call my buddy and of course he's not frickin' there yet so i'm left waiting outside with the doorman cuz they're obviously not believing i know the guy i'm waiting for so we have a nice little chat...beautiful women who look like posh beckham and men driving expensive cars pass me by, looking me up and down...this weird entity in their territory (did i forget to mention that i'm wearing ripped jeans, a tank and a cardigan?) thank you b for texting with me and keeping me destracted as the brash and beautiful scrutinized away.



my stinker of a buddy shows up and promptly yells my name from down the street (doorman's face drops "yeah foo! pretty woman moment--big mistake huge!"--point for tish) and we go inside...people are stopping him and saying hello--custom practice for these types. we're now even on points but some how it doesn't feel like it should be. i quietly walk behind him smiling from time to time as people try to figure out who i am.



it was the craziest moment for me. i've walked in a tiffany's in new york before and been looked at crazy but for some reason the rich in la is mad different and for the first time ever i really saw how different.



the simple things i do, the fact that i do what i have to do just to stay in the game is shocking to people in this world...i just want to meet someone kind and normal that grew up on that darn planet or i swear i'll bust. i don't think i could live in that world i saw last night...



don't think i would want to. you see that stuff on tv...bel air and all that and you can somewhat grasp the differences between the haves and the have-nots but it never marinates into you until you've had your own pretty woman experience.



even more weird...i felt like these people put up some interesting walls...i seriously wonder if they believe there are genuine nice kind-hearted people out there...after last night i'm not so sure.



is it possible to keep your feet on the ground but live among the stars? we will see...



friends...please know i can't see myself in a million years being like those people. this chick grew up with a single parent mom...i washed my clothes in a bathtub while my mom sang dolly's "coat of many colors"...those memories don't wash off easily...just in case you were scared that the diamonds and bentley cars were tempting.

il bel far niente

7.21.2007
or "the beauty of doing nothing"




Ah how I love lazy weekends….the kind where you do you…just go with the flow…do whatever floats your boat. no plans, no pesky alarm clocks.



i'm feeling flowers, maybe a movie, some reading and some good grub.

contessas and nooners

7.20.2007
i've decideded that the barefoot contessa needs to be my friend. i want to go to her east coast beach home on the weekends and watch her prepare swordfish wih a caper-flavored red sauce. just cuz. i'll tell her about my silly drama with acting and so on (how my agent's a bitch) and she'll squinch her little nose up like she always does and say he's a punk ass and then shove some goodies in my mouth to try. sounds lovely.




today was a good friday. i have this guy friend that is lovely...and he's getting married next weekend. he's the guy that everyone in college thought the world of...wonderful big huge lovely sweetie and now .. get to see him give his wonderful-ness to his beloved. sigh....



how is this possible ms scarlett!?



well ms tishy is someone's plus 1...lol. it should be a really fun weekend and i'll hopefully get to see my bestest in the midwestest jen so it's all good...



and the weekend begins.....now.

these things bring me joy

7.19.2007
today i have become oscar the grouch which bugs me not in the least because 1). he's green and 2.) my buddy ole pal b. says i don't always have to be ms. susie sunshine so it's all good.




basically i lifted weights for the first time in a really REALLY long time and now my body is screaming at me that i'm a royal numb nut. that and i have some weird freakish cold that's taken refuge in my poor used and abused body and leaving me sluggish and stupid.



even thru the pain and sluggishness though i have still been able to find joy in today. like for instance, b humored me by letting me read chapters from my new book to her over our lunch period...she didn't HAVE to listen to my manly distorted voice piping out as best it could but she did and i luv her. it's a great book. i have to share.



i found my brandi carlile song that's been in my head for seriously months now (thank you grey's anatomy) and posted it to my myspace page.



the person that stood me up two weekends ago (mr. basketball) contacted my behind and is trying to be a good one. i've learned from certain people that you must put friends in certain categories so i can now put him in the "we go back to cool days so you're even steven in my book but standing me up sucked so you'll never be my best friend or anything like that" category. it may be petty and childish but i love it when things like that go my way. let me have my moment where i'm right and you're wrong....i'm nice and you're a poop and we're all good. (isn't pride one of the seven deadly sins?)



back on subject. i find joy in the fact that i'm currently sitting in my most comfortable pj's about to lay my skinny behind on my living room couch and watch yesterday's 'so you think you can dance'...no commercials! love tivo!



i find joy in the fact that my darling roomie is bringing me home "jewish penicillin (aka matsa ball soup?)" and maybe my throat will calm the ish down.



i find joy in the fact that i spent a whopper of a night with my gal pal e last night just shootin' the breeze...eating bad food and giggling our little behinds off...on a school night no less



and last but definitely not least i find joy in my acting coach, michele lamar richards (Imdb.com ya'll) who wrote a prayer for me that i love dearly and will now share with you in regards to the acting job that is meant for me. i love it that she gets that...the book randomly fell into my hands, the magazine that told me about the show as well...along with actually meeting this writer and learning i got a shot.... Enjoy!!!



And know that simply the setting and intention are enough...and giving it over to your highest self. I hearby know that all is working, hasworked and is being directed for your highest good. That you are creating asspirit created you in that image of many races and beauty and it has made youmost strong most beautiful most compassionate to all around you. And knowing wecan not miss our good I release this prayer into the universe claiming this sitcom as Tish's vehicle to divine creation and balance in her life and the lifeof others. And so it is, Amen.Amen.

junkie

7.17.2007
Hi. My name is Tish and I've been a junkie for two years now. I am just now realizing I have a problem.




Drug of choice: good times





You think I'm kidding, but it's a common side effect of any great trip or event that people go into these sinking funks once they return to the real world.





I plan these great times with friends and I look forward to the ish for weeks and the moments build and I get this euphoric sense of bliss…Trip happens and I'm on cloud nine. I feel like sunshine is bursting from my skin—nothing can change my world or get me down (at least this is what I tell myself after the event is over) we all know that like a drug there are always little blips during the 'trip' but somehow we forget that and just think of the perfect moments.





I come home and my world comes crashing down. Suddenly we have to be big kids again…Go back to our boring, zombie-makin' jobs and accept that we only get that high occasionally and it's not the real world.





I seriously was grumpy times 100 yesterday. I looked at co-workers like they were crazy when they suggested I actually work. I didn't want to begin my gym workouts, go grocery shopping….nada.





It's no good. I literally live for the weekends. I know brides go thru this same thing after their honeymoons are over. They've planned and anticipated for months, they have this amazing day followed by an incredible week of bliss and then they come back and have to chill out. Post-fun depression….





Sigh. This blows. I'm desperate to find something to do this week…some art something or another…a concert, dance performance, SOMETHING to keep my heart beating…an entertainment junkie I have become.

a post script

And I see no bravery,


No bravery in your eyes anymore.

Only sadness.



great lyrics....had to post.

108

I've always believed books have a way of finding me at just the right point in my life. My gal Jen has been talking about one such book for months now and I've always said I'd pick it up and read but never did.






I found the book sitting in my mailbox when I got home from work Monday evening and I knew it was time. Just felt right to crack it open last night before I went to bed. I only read the first intro but it was enough to wake me up and get my gears moving.





She compares her book to a japa mala: a set of beads used by Hindus & Buddhists for mantra/praying purposes. 108 beads… "held to be the most auspicious…a perfect three-digit number, representing supreme balance".





I loved this little factoid comparison she lays the groundwork with: a simile of balance. Something I definitely need in my life.



This bead business may be a lot for all of you non-Eastern philosophy gurus (me included), but I can break it down in Tishy terms... In a nut shell this woman inspired me in 5 paragraphs : )





I was walking with Brandi this morning during our break (Any excuses to get away from my cubicle is swell) discussing the idea of "unfair". Unfair that certain individuals throughout our collective lives will have the power to indirectly or directly destroy our happy go-lightly streaks. Then it occurred to me…There is no spoon.





Do you remember that phrase from "Matrix"? You have to think of your little bout of drama as the spoon and bend your world to reshape that silly little piece into something you can live with (or dodge bullets with—whatever you prefer)





So my current spoons are too many to discuss…I don't think I could individually battle each one with their own neat little solution either, but collectively I can say that I can't handle any of them unless I start to create some positive consistencies in my life (i.e. starting to work out and run again—great stress relievers that used to free me in my college healthy, great bod days)





Other remedies to help me bend the darn spoon and achieve balance are setting time aside daily to read…I've set up a deadline for focusing directly and solely on acting as well. After my best friend's wedding I plan to become a robot. No spending until acting classes are paid for, trying out for theater programs, using my newly sculpted bod to get some modeling gigs. These are things I know I have to do in order to change this current unrest I've been having.





There are certain people that have hurt me and they know it unfortunately…Some that have hurt me indirectly too…but none of these things would affect me quite the way they do if I had more balance and perspective in my life.





I have to live my life as fully as I can. Acknowledge all of these pains in my life…darn damn spoons! And deal with them and get passed them.





Makes ya want to eat icecream with a fork doesn't it?





108 is the number I have to make my own.

luv your home

7.15.2007
i like los angeles. it's beautiful to behold at night from my patio area. i got off the plane today and it was hot but there was this great breeze...a city that never sleeps-- a place where my dream lives...yet i looked out at the stars tonight and wondered if i love it or hate it.




my lonely but lovely little city....



i have weekends like this with the ones i love and i'm blessed and happy to be with them...reminded how lonely i am usually without them. never taking my time with them for granted....this is a good thing.



so should i hate or love los angeles for blessing me with that mentality? great questions...

a bride's rite of passage

wow...that was the BEST weekend EVER!!!




jen's bachelorette party will forever change the way i look at a bride's rite of passage. i'm so thankful to have such a wonderful best friend who has the smarts to pick the bestest ladies in the world to share her happy day with. her weekend extravaganza was the ISH yo!



i can' really go detail for detail because 1 i'm hung over and exhausted like a mutha beast and 2 it's vegas...it's a rule.



our weekend started out swell. all girls took off friday from work to fly in and i instructed all ladies to wear their swim gear and meet at the pool.we had mojitoes among other alcholic beverages, met some interesting personalities and enjoyed each others' company. dinner at a mexican restaurant followed by harry potter set off the night. vegas will always be vegas but experiencing it a little unorthodox-like with those ladies will go down in the history books. i laughed so hard. i had the task of ..ing the events with my cam which was fine by me because i was able to sit back and observe women celebrating the woman i call best friend. we walked the vegas strip then went back to the hotel and crashed around 1....4:00 for our washington d.c. gal pal (poor thing)



day 2 was filled with shopping for wedding stuff together, more eating and drinking, gifts and bachelorette games. i learned just how sweet jen and her fiance truly are...she got so many of those darn questions about her groom right...no doubt about it....my gal and her luv are ready to do the dang thing...i've always known they were right for each other but she knows him like the back of her hand...it's so comforting to know my girl's jumping into something that's truly good for her.



we danced our little hearts out and were invited to hang with real royalty....vegas is never dull, always random and it meant everything to me that jen and her bridesmaids had a blast. last night was so much fun lol.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh



today was difficult...the hangovers and 3 hours of sleep didn't help but saying goodbye is even more hard when you've spent such a great time with girls that live on the other side of the country. i won't see them again until the wedding this fall...we had so much fun. the time just flew. it feels like i JUST woke up at 4 in the morning to start getting things prepared and packed for the trip...i wrote a poem for the girls, gave them cd's filled with themed music for the weekend...hopefully it'll be a sweet reminder of the fun times we had.



i was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my best friend is going into a stage of life without me...we went into high school together, first loves, college, heartbreak therapy....graduations, first jobs, etc all together...



but now i'm good. i think the bridesmaids need the bachelorette parties more than the brides...one last celebration, one last rite of passage that friends can take together conscienciously...



i made some great memories this weekend...great ones

back into focus

7.12.2007
so my most recent blog caused quite the discussion among my peers and even some folks that i know not. my favorite thus far "is there something wrong with that chick?"...




lol i personally don't think so but even the best of gals have their single moments. (at least my friends tell me that) so since that night i've spoken with a couple of my gal pals...none of which read my blog and each one of them was dealing with their own personal disdain for singlehood so i listened like i love to do and gained some new perspective and i felt better. i'll never fully embrace being lonely (who would?!) but i found a silver lining and that's swell enough for me.



i love it when i'm able to freaking see passed the pessimistic walls i put up and see the brighter side. i did it today actually....work was cool...i was really busy so it flew by...i was able to finish up some last minute maid of honor duties like printing boarding passes, coordinating bridesmaids landing times...sigh. then the wammy. i'm about to leave work and my cyber shrink buddy who happened to coordinate that magazine shoot i did wrote to tell me that none of the pictures with girls (that would be me) were used in the article (debbie downer music fades in)



my heart sank. what kind of boo boo is that?! the bummer-isms didn't last long though...i had so much frickin' fun on that shoot and it totally revived my spirit. no regrets. my time to shine will come...i skipped out of work and moved on to the next phase of top secret mission "vegas weekend for the best friend"...it's been so great putting together the gifts for jen's girls and her. i love giving and the only reason i'm blogging about this now is i know it's 11 something for one, 10 something for another and the other two girls don't read my ish at all so i won't ruin any surprises. i got some really fun things and i just found out i can pack liquor so it's about to be on and poppin lol.



i'm out shopping for the remaining gifts when my boy k calls me and starts to speak to me thru this dang transformers mask he's just purchased from toys r us...it seriously makes you talk like a frickin' robot. i swear he became my new bestest buddy at that point...only the coolest of the cool would cruise down the la freeways rockin a mask like that...and then calling me to play around with it lol. he rocks! i love him! totally made my day..had me about to pee my pants in a store.



so yeah seeing the brighter picture helped this day out so frickin much. i'm leaving at the crack of dawn to board a plane to vegas...i'm meeting the luv of my life at her terminal, we're grabbing a cab together, laying by the pool and drinking mojitoes all day long...the girls will trickle in and we'll all enjoy the rays.

later that night we'll go to dinner, we'll see harry potter, play bachelorette games and bond (hee hee)...next day we're shopping for her make up for the wedding day (believe it or not i can do other people's make up quite well and make them stunningly beautiful), hanging out by the pool some more and that night we're gettin our vegas on. i think my name will be delicious ; ) (just kidding)



i can't wait. i feel like i get christmas, birthday, summer vacation and slumber party all rolled into one. my life is fuzzy at times but it's becoming clearer. i have these moments in my life that are so flippin fantastic...and they make me love the life i'm in...broke, strugglin, single--all of it!



i dimmed for a bit but i'm coming back into focus...

a tale of two shitties

7.09.2007
"it was the worst of times, it was the whackest of times"




by no means am i depressed right now, but i am a bit bummed. i feel like i've just hit this rut in my life and i'm about to be painstakenly honest and pathetic....my friends will slap their foreheads once again and ask why i've chosen to put my most personal business in a blog but i don't even care lol...(love you e!)



so where the heck am i right now? for the past week i've been working silly hours at my job...9, 10 hours a day and the highlight of it all is coming home, dropping cardigans and earrings, throwing my hair back in a ponytail and curling up with a book or the good ole tele and just unwinding. there's been no real substance. little blips of lovely here and there but no sparks to energize my soul and get me to my full potential.



the worst part of all. i was stood up for a date with a friend this weekend...yes, canceled on in a really uncool way (made me feel like that dorky tagalong person we all roll our eyes at). i just felt like hanging with my peeps and was actually uber excited because i haven't seen this cat since flippin january or something...i'm kind of embarrassed really.



in a time where all my friends are in these fabulous relationships or have children in their lives...just a someone!!! it sucks to be that lonely kid at the end of the block that walks home alone every night. if i only had a dog! i just got off the phone with one of the sista girls and we were laughing about all the ku marriages happening lately...how many of the dudes cheated on their girls...all the horrible dramas and how they're still able to make my arse look like a silly old maid. the worst is when all your ex's start getting married or are in great relationships. one ex is getting married this month to this sweet little thang and i seriously wanna throw up in my mouth lol. am i terrible? hee hee...in all honesty though. i'm not big on the single life. i believe one can still be independent while with someone...i don't need to be UBER alone in order to learn more about myself...really. that's what blogs and journals are for dang it!



no acting news....no modeling stuff either. i'm seriously hybernating right now. for what i know not but hopefully all of those cliches about it being the worst before the best are true...cuz this is seriously not cuttin' it folks.



even blogging is hard...i'm just runnin' out of stuff. it's weird...i feel like i'm not contributing...does that make sense?

sista girl news

7.08.2007
i love that my friends are in love and have these great stories that forever keep me hopeful, free from becoming a total cynic. the most random beginnings can turn into the most beautiful stories...




this story is from the dallas news:

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/lifetravel/stories/DN-NSL_romance_0708liv.ART.State.Edition1.15fb754.html



this along with an hour of proposal shows on one of those estrogen-heavy tv channels has left me feeling lovely and enchanted. : ) i'm gonna run with it tonight.

week in review

well the week of house sitting has come and gone and now i'm back home. i did miss home...my smells, my spaces...i have this little nook on one side of my couch that i love to cozy up into and read but i do miss fritz. yes, i miss a dog. on friday he actually got into a stressful altercation with two racoons that left me bawling like a baby but it's all good. we bonded. he's my buddy for life. i now have to find a dog of my own. as soon as i can get a doggie door...that racoons don't like that is.




other news from the week: my best friend just bought her first home with her fiance and they moved over to 'the nut' on friday so they could start sprucing the place up. i love the idea of my friend building her life tangibly...painting and laying floor...there's something about building a home with your own hands. i'm in awe of my friends that are stepping over to big kid land...



the best part of all though is i get to talk about it IN PERSON with her this friday...bachelorette part-tay this friday thru sunday yo in vegas. i can't wait to see my gal! can't wait!!!



today: i made fun of a friend yesterday for drinking wine and then passing out at 11:00 am...lol...and then i came home today and drank some schmirnoff thingies and passed the heck out at 1:00 pm...lol. it's all good...aren't we all just a little hypocritical at times? don woke me up at 3 something to go the movies. i saw this new film "once" that i recommend to the masses. all pretentious criticisms aside it was a really sweet and beautiful movie...simple and good. there was little dialogue, lots of great music (that i promptly purchased at amoeba music after it was over)...today was just one of those random dream-like days where i just float along and have no concept of time.



i came home to a full mailbox and a package...a package containing the sweetest gift i've received in a long time from a dear friend of mine, one of the sister girls. it was a cute little green kiwi coach wallet wrapped up in a beautiful box and bow with a letter stating she was proud of me for being a good friend and the type of gal that goes after her dreams. i sat in my room and cried i was so touched...how i love the color green but how much more i love the fact that i have these amazing friends that know how much the little details mean to me...that letter's gonna remain in my journal...to be read over and over again.



that was the ultimate high for the day...seeing the bumblebee car from transformers ( an authentic one--i'm in la folks) didn't even touch it...thank you chris...thank you : )

transformers

7.04.2007
all i have to say is that ish ROCKED!!!




i want a bumble bee...sniff.

the fourth

happy fourth of july ya'll...to you and yours!!!




4th of july was never really a big holiday for me until i moved out here to la and realized just what i was missin' out on. every year my "kid for a mama" mo buys hundreds of firecrackers and we go down to our lake house in the ozarks of missouri and we sit on a porch swing as my dad and other crazy male visitors climb our dock's roof, morph into the worst kinda pyros and give us a show.



my mo sits with all the small kids of the fam/group and she teaches them to say "oooo ahhhhh" when the firecrackers start going off. lol...there's just something about sitting out there with my fam and watching those damn things and seeing my mo's face light up. sigh...i miss that lots.



i may not have the lake but i've got some lovely buds who i'll be going to a bbq with later this evening. last year at this time i was on my way to the beach with my girlie b and her fam. it was a lovely day but i was freshly heartbroken over a misfit's antics. i remember i was mad that the firecrackers were so bright...i didn't want people to see my tears. luckily my heart healed and life is better...



BRING ON THE SPARKLERS!!!

house sitter

7.02.2007
for some reason that sounded like a dang scary movie title and i don't like that one bit...hmph. i swear i can be the biggest baby staying here. something about sleeping ALONE...in a foreign place....




last night's sleep was INTERESTING....



i can stay with my girl b and her kid can scream "mommy!" at the top of his lungs at 4 in the morning and i don't hear that ish but i hear fritz the wonder dog gently walking across the bathroom floor and i shoot up out of the bed...3:45 a.m i'm going out side with the little terd so that he can potty...he runs right for a darn racoon and starts barking like a crackhead (did you know that crackheads bark? well they do) so i'm whisper-like scolding him to get his little keister back in the house. he looks at me like what B?! so i sit down (exhausted out of my mind) and start to mumble that i'm about to have a nervous breakdown and he perks up and comes back in... what tha %#$#!!!!



i tell his butt to get upstairs and he calmly goes, plops down at the end of the bed on the floor and falls asleep..this morning i wake up, slip out of bed, accidentally step on him...he doesn't even flinch...i start to curse him...doesn't wake up at all gosh darn it until i have to give him his medicine and put him outside...still cursing him until i see his cute little nose and paw thru the fence and then i wanted to cry. just like me to let a dog do me wrong and then forgive him at the first sight of vulnerable cuteness. well no more! i'm gonna make his arse stay frickin downstairs yo!...ok maybe not lol



aight. i'm about to take my home dog to bed (hey he's a good alarm system!) and call it a wrap. good night...

ice cubes said it best

7.01.2007
...today was a good day




i woke up this morning and started getting ready for my brunch with a great friend of mine rushell...rushell's the bud that has this amazingly great personality that always inspires me and moves me in some way. she has this amazingly beautiful home down in los angeles where the ocean breeze flows freely and the neighborhood buzzes with beautiful people and homes (it's in inglewood, my favorite spot to be) i got dressed and actually put on a darn dress...i just felt like a pretty day deserved a pretty girl, picked up some fruit and wine to make sangria and headed south.



we had this great brunch with waffles, apple and pear toppings that were glazed in a caramel-like sauce, egg white omelettes with basel, my sangria and cheeses and fruits...it was quite yummy. we talked about our dreams and what we've been up to...possibly catching some jazz down in long beach soon (roy hargrove will be there!!! ahhhhhh!) art and framing (i'm working on a project for my best buddy's upcoming wedding) and a possible napa valley trip in november. it was just one of those great sunday mornings i'm always telling ya'll about.



afterwards i came home and packed for my house sitting adventure. i'll be staying here for the whole week and it's the coolest thing EVER. this house has so many fun toys to play with...the coolest kitchen ever...i might be tempted to cook...i mean ya just have to (especially after seeing ratatouille today with b and jay--ha ha i never noticed their nicknames together before...that's kinda funny actually lol!!!)



so yeah i went and saw a very cute and entertaining movie that i even enjoyed with a horrible migraine...i recommend it to the masses that read this. you won't be disappointed.



so now i'm just finding my away around the house...learning where things are so i don't have a nervous breakdown in the morning trying to get ready for work. did i mention i have a really cool dog to watch?! his name is fritz...my guardian while on this adventure and he's the coolest loveable little dog ever. (i'll post pics don't you worry). i felt safe having him here until he heard a firecracker pop and jumped ten times higher than i did...scaredy dog...we'll work on his gangster skills. a little tupac may do the trick.



alright...i think my buddy fritz and i are gonna curl up on the couch and watch some tele. i'm probably gonna need a dog after this...just to let ya'll know.

accosted by the calls

i was seriously attacked by fools callin my cell phone from around 2:00 last night until 3 something...




aight so maybe i'm old school BUT didn't our momma's teach us that we're not supposed to call folks after 10? lol. i seriously had to scold two of my boys...one i even went as far as giving a verbal slapping too...inappropriate!!! am i wrong? i think not and the reason i know is i just woke up at 8:51 a.m. feeling like a dump truck on top of a fire track on top of a semi hit my behind.



remind me to take my home number off my cellie. ugh....
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