Meridian

2.27.2007
meridian- a place or situation with its own distinctive characer. The highest apparent point reached by a heavenly body in its course.




i'm not proud of this but i still have moments of weakness. i receive messages from organizations or entertainment whatevers that 'we' as in the ex and i 'we' signed up for...constant reminders of the past and i get weak. it's not the type of weak moment that you expect though...i get this overwhelming sense of anger that i have little reminders of what once was and he doesn't. makes me think i was in it alone...that it wasn't all that because it's been forgotten so easily...



i'm reading a book right now where the main character sits in a room cursing her ex as she goes thru a painful abortion knowing he's out with a new woman. she's mad that she's stuck to handle the break while he's moved on. this is the stuff i erase from my blogs and fill with other mumbo jumbo. it's embarrassing but maybe if i write this crap out it will go away. i'm not worried i'll miss him. i can't even remember the things i should which is weird...can't remember what he sounds like, smells like...i can't even remember how he looks until moments like today. i was looking thru an album to find an old pic of a friend and i saw a picture of him and i and i froze...and just stared at it...i stared at the damn thing for at least five minutes trying to figure out who the two people in the picture were really. so there's some honesty for ya...lets see if it will help me move on...



the other day my girl and i debated whether or not someone can truly be an individual when they're with another human being. can we really? i don't know but once we broke up i came alive...it was really weird. the days started slowing down...i was able to take the time to actually think and contemplate what i'm doing with my life among other things. figured out some of my hang ups...any thoughts? can we reach a place of meridian with someone or does that type of self-realization only happen when someone's off on their own?



there is better news though. the dating thing is cool but the utter joy is seriously coming from planning my best bud's bachelorette party in vegas this summer, wicked is this weekend, san francisco is coming up shortly and my atlanta friend visit happens at the end of the month. i've never really gotten to travel a lot so i'm excited for the exposure...



march is going to be a very good month...i can feel it in my bones!



p.s. i was SUPPOSED to have an interview at a modeling joint today but they rescheduled on me. i'll let you know more later.

the kid’s got moxie

2.26.2007
o my homie, ms. lex, schooled me on some great urban lingo a bit ago. how many points do i lose for writing "urban lingo"?




i knew about gumption but moxie is pretty fly. j and i were discussing new positive words for sneaky (it has such a negative connotation) and low and behold moxie has a sneaky definition: Being so sly and sneaky you could even steal your own pants.



that has nothing to do with anything but it's good to share what you've learned for the day when ya can, right? learning is the key. i'm about to host a little slumber party for some goyles i know in need of some girl time and the goal is to give them some stuff to take home to mama too. give 'em a little moxie ; )



i'm a bit distracted right now though...american idol is cracking me up. i love people. i just love the possibility of learning someone's story, how they react in the face of rejection...it's just a good day to learn i guess. i try to get friends to share with me what they've learned for the day...cheating on the bits o' wisdom but oh well



learnings half the battle.

life is what makes art possible

2.25.2007
and for my friends this weekend...




i had an amazing time at the slumber party (talking!!! sushi, movies...neck cricks) my beautifully perfect saturday with my girl b and my pimpalicously dance fever night with my girls, new and newer...people may think i'm too involved with having a good time out here...not enough struggle and pain trying to get thru the magic door but i wouldn't even still be here with folks like the ones that made me smile this weekend.



it seems like such a whatever act...to hang with your girls...go out, do whatever but this is the stuff i thank God for at night...i want a full life...i don't want to look back and not have anything to show for these years. i don't think i have to worry.



(fyi..this awards show is making me terribly emotional. can you tell?)

oscar moments

as i watch actors on tv win my dream award for outstanding work, i giggle because i just spent a day watching stinky films...but i had a blast because watching films period is an experience...




i feel like i've been asked quite a bit lately why i choose acting...montages like the one aired on tonight's award show are the reason. i can't wait to make movies that allow folks to go to the movies and have days like i've had today. mind you i don't recommend norbit at all but still : ) everyone has their fun times...i'll let ya'll choose your own and help you along as much as i can...it stunk. lol



i'm just now tuning in to the oscars. i've missed a lot. i'm of course confused about certain winners and losers but that's not the important part of watching this for me. is anyone else just moved period that so many great works of art are up there.?..the memories of what these movies did to me...for me....the people i saw them with...the memories..the possibilities of infinite creativity...ahh friends....i saw all that when i was four...i liked what films did...i loved the pretend....



movies are the last piece of magic i hang on to from childhood...the possibilities are endles...



when my possibility opens up...get ready for the speech of a lifetime ya'll!

friday insights

2.23.2007
i'm getting ready (well sort of since i'm blogging) for a slumber party at my girl, e's, house tonight. it should be a barrel of laughs. we've all got our pink ruffle undies and our feather pillows...no. not really but we've got some GREAT chick flicks and we're all investing in our favorite liquor to get the party started. it should be fun watching my big fat greek wedding under the influence (wink).




today was a crazy work day but a good after work day. shevi and i caught up lol...and i had time to write in my journal...something i've done since i was in first grade. i swear when i pick up the pen i start to giggle imagining a 7 year old writing her thoughts down. my journals back then were so cute too...my wee little mind.



my wee little crushes. : ) my girl and i were talking about crushes today back in forth in emails today. they're such a good thing to have. i don't talk about the dudes i may or may not date on here cuz they may or may not read this (heehee) but right now i'm not crushing (literal sense of the word) on anyone. i'm enjoying hanging out but something's blocked in that ole chest of mine that i'm content with leaving be for quite some time. i hate it that omarion has a song about a dang icebox where my heart used to be...cheeseball head! (i can actually relate in a way though hee hee) ..the dude sounds mad angry in that song...i on the other hand am just kind of numb. it's cool though. when i'm twitterpatted i'm so happy..the glass is so full it runs over and i overlook some key bad news behavior patterns so everything works out. this doesn't stop me from loving it that my friends are twitterpatted though. : ) i like it when someone's grinning so hard their eyes burst with light...lol. go b!!!



so get this...best news of all...my girls banded together and bought me wicked tickets for my birfday gift!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! i'm going to wicked!!! next friday actually. ya'll i don't know what i'm going to do with myself...i swear when the curtain parts i may cry just a tiny bit. man...then i'm going to san francisco the weekend before my birthday...life is swell.



weekend forecast: i think i'm going to a nice little event with my girls on saturday night...followed by a 'hang out thing' on sunday. i met someone who loves to watch movies just as much as me. we're gonna double it up. that's my kinda hang out session...oh! i'm also picking up a tv for my bedroom so that i can be an even bigger hermit..it's a freebie from a friend on myspace actually. isn't this site just grand? that's about it for me. : ) sigh...i love fridays

a choice

2.22.2007
if you've ever lost someone...someone you love then grey's anatomy will rip your heart out.




if there's a place where souls can decide to go back and live...and you know someone that has passed...i've never had a show affect me this much. wow...if there was a place...if people sat there and spoke to the one you love and tried to get them to go back...man....

kiwi elephant in the room

so i have some kiwi elephants in the room which simply means i'm being passive aggressive as all get out and can't just confront my green goblins (i'm having a green kinda day can ya tell?)




i've been trying to battle them but it doesn't just involve me vs friends...it's me vs me...the things in my life i choose not to or just plain out can't acknowledge to myself right now.



one big kiwi elephant...i went to go visit a friend in the hospital who just had a baby and i couldn't quite place the feelings i was having...i cried a couple of times. i don't know if i want kids some day...if i was crying because i don't, crying because i'm jealous and i do...man. KIWI ELEPHANT!!! just push it to the back of your head and forget it exists.



the thing with kiwi elephants though...they find ways of steppin out into the light. for instance. i'm dating right now but i'm scared to death that i'm gonna jack something normal up because of my weirdness...i'm really on the defense. a big part of me knows i'm scared to death of guys and mingling with that weird species is going to be interesting. i just don't know jack about nothing...which is also a big ole kiwi elephant.



i'm exhausted. today was a weird day. i was really zombied out. after i saw the baby i didn't feel like working anymore and the hours just kept slowly ticking by...like molasses slow. i didn't really think about anything during that time either. weird? i was just exhausted out of my mind today. work seriously drains the main brain that's for sure.



i did plan out my weekend though...slumber party, errands and hanging with my girl to celebrate her fourth weekend without her son...catching some flicks with a bud and picking up a tele from a friend. it should be nice and swell.



i smell like baby right now and it's making me happy. : )

liven my life like it's golden

2.21.2007
today was a great day...that auditon experience was lovely.




it was a beautiful day out. my boss said to take my time going to the audition and not to worry about making anything up (score!) so i left...had the windows down...jammin to good music, got to the audition, sat beside the woman who played will smith's momma on fresh prince (AHHH!) and then i was called in to do my thing. it was a fun audition. i improv'ed being the boss at an architectural firm...i gave some mumbo jumbo lines about keystones, archways and deadlines...it was fun : )



then i left, saw the theater where wicked is playing, winked at it cuz i know i'll be there soon (hopefully!) and then drove my merry little behind back to work. it feels good to get out there on auditions. no matter how nervous i get beforehand...i always leave feeling this new surge of life.



i found out a friend went into labor this morning...she's two weeks early so after work i stopped off to buy the baby a little something which ALWAYS puts ya in a good mood. you can't be around wee things and not coo. there's just something about the idea of 'tiny'....NOT that i want any of the little whipper snappers. i just like to look at them from afar : )



i'm home now...i have a pizza in the oven. miles davis is blowing hard. life was good today.



some things i figured out today:



the love affair i need to start focusing on isn't with a dude...it's with los angeles and my acting career : )



slumber parties are the best invention a gal ever came up with and me and my gal pal are about to start 'em up right for 2007



i love scrabble. i hate losing and i'm a really poor sport.



pinkberry makes me happy...no matter what.

zombie nation

2.20.2007
ugh...my blogs haven't been posting the last couple of times so i've been having to rewrite every dang one of them...not good when you're already feeling like pooh.




so BASICALLY (i'm rolling my eyes) I SAID...



i had two mini panic attacks at work today. that can't be good can it? my boy mateo is right....i need to get the heck out of that place. i have an audition tomorrow morning and i'm thankful Thankful THANKFUL! that i got it for the morning and not the afternoon...by 3:00 i'm a zombie...i'm sorry my friends but i can't chit chat, banter, joke or ever wow those behind the camera quite like the usual goofy tish can after a day at that hell hole. that job sucks every last bit of kiwipower i possess. sad...



brighter note! the audition tomorow is a national commercial for the yellow pages. lol...as always i will let ya'll know how it goes. for now. i'm going to take my tired pathetic little body to bed. i had two uncrustables and chips and salsa for dinner. a sister really needs to learn how to cook. correction--a sister really needs to get the energy to want to learn how to cook. : )



random side note before i go...i keep losing in scrabble...but of course it's always after a long day at work...it's late...just more proof that my job sucks me dry. just thought i'd offer some excuse to why my scrabble skills have gone sour.



g'night.

bad moods lead to 'baaad moves'

2.19.2007
it rained this morning...started me off in a heinously foul mood...which got worse after sitting thru a discussion of my past. for the record i never said i was wonder woman so why the high expectations that i can dust it off so easily? i'm good but that stuff still hurts. this whole frustration thing led to some pretty productive emails and phone calls though.




the anger i was starting to feel led me to seriously wig out on working at the god awful place i'm currently at. i picked up the phone and called this woman trying to get me to interview with her modeling agency. so i did and i have an appointment next tuesday. hopefully this works..i'm sick of meetings that leave me with nothing. i need a foot in the door move. this could be it.



i also got my birthday plans underway. i will be hanging with three gals in san francisco and i can't wait. i'm pumped like a shoe ya'll! if you have any suggestions let me know cuz i've never been. i really want to eat some amazingly perfect food, see the g.g.bridge and see some cool show with my folks.



random question of the day: ok those with some kind of background in literature...can you explain to a sister why i keep reading these books by black female writers that discuss sexual acts in such graphic, viscerally (word?) disturbing ways? i can't take it sister souljah and ms. walker..ya'll gotta give me some birds and the bees, chirp chirp, sweet sweet, kiss kiss type of stuff before i scratch all my skin off like a crack head. jeez this stuff is heavy. i still recommend it though : ) hee hee.

who's keeping score?

2.18.2007
i received a call at 4:00 in the morning from a friend telling me she saw my ex out. even in my delirious state i knew this was bad stuff and my heart immediately fell into my stomach (a hard task being that i was laying down) lol...




i'm not keeping score but i am in a fast race to get over that horrible situation as soon as i possibly can. i can't be that woman that that can't see that she deserves better. nope sir reee! i guess all this means i have to have a talk with that friend and tell her she can't keep me updated on him...he's gotta be as out of sight out of mind as humanly possible. "FORGET ABOUT 'EM"



my introduction back into the dating world has been pleasant so yeah...that helps some.



a good friend of mine that i actually 'spoke' to for a short time called yesterday and we caught up. he reminded me of the bigger picture...my older mentality of doing the dang thing and not letting relationships or dating destract from such things...it is hard to focus as i've found out ;) wake up calls are a beautiful thing.



the color purple is on. this movie...mmmm



sunday mornings. gotta love them. reflect and relax.

lazy isn't always a bad thing...

2.17.2007
i just found a pic of my road trip to los angeles with my best bud...i love cleaning out old emails... sigh




http://good-times.webshots.com/photo/1520761592049351527SlfRYP?vhost=good-times



i was so scared out of my mind lol...my how fast time flies.



so today i've decided to be a lazy terd. i will do nothing but clean up my abode, read, watch the tele and relax. tomorrow is a different story though.



my best friend wrote me an email the other day which dealt with my current inability to focus on getting my acting career launched. i really had to sit there and think about things. it's not that i dont want to be an actress anymore. it's just that i dont want to start at the bottom. i don't want to deal with the bull crap, the seediness the industry lets creep thru, the ridiculousness...i know what you're thinking, "everyone has to deal with this so suck it up tishy" but i cant. ya'll think i'm sleeping on acting but i'm just waiting patiently for my little hole inside the big door : )



i wrote angela nissel again...i tend to write her emails on a monthly basis just to check in and see how that tv pilot is going. did anyone ever go to her site? www.angelanissel.com. check that stuff out...the pilot baby she will create is my most current and yearned for dream.



so yeah tomorrow i'll focus on some more of my homework from my acting coach...i haven't done jack on her assignment...i know...i know. really drives that quote, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" home.



happy lazy day.

scrabble loser

new name = i lost at scrabble. i don't want to talk about it.   hee hee

a bittersweet ending

2.16.2007
the life associated with the ex has come to a complete and final end. yesterday, v-day, was the wicked tickets fiasco and tonight was the lakers game tickets that i got him for christmas. at first i was just gonna have them canceled but where's the fun in that?




i asked if i could just give the tickets to one of my boys at work but i had to go in order to keep the dang things so i came up with the brilliant idea of giving them to my best bud b for valentines day..why not ask a hot mami to be my valentine? she's a cutie patooty so it worked out great. we jammed all the way down to staples center, found great parking quickly and then proceeded to the will call booth where we got some freaking amazing tickets...thank you damon jones (???) for the lovely seats..and my boy t who was the wonderful santa that really got them for me. we freaking had little passes to stay after the game and meet the players...of course we forgot a camera and none of the players i wanted to meet came out but it was a lovely gesture. lol...



we saw jay z at the game along with my future husband, zack braff. oh yeah people...lakers games are for people watching and eves dropping!



i ate sushi too : ) life was good tonight. i'm not much of a lakers fan lol...i just can't muster them ya'll but going to the game with b was a blast.



b, i'm just glad we didnt' end up on the kiss me screen : )



happy end of the road tishy. that bad life is officially over and you can move on in peace.

i was diggin this story...

ORANGO ISLAND, Guinea-Bissau (AP) -- He was 14 when the girl entered his grass-covered hut and placed a plate in front of him containing an ancient recipe.




Like all men on this African isle, Carvadju Jose Nananghe knew exactly what it meant. Refusing was not an option. His heart pounding, he lifted the steaming fish to his lips, agreeing in one bite to marry the girl.



"I had no feelings for her," said Nananghe, now 65. "Then when I ate this meal, it was like lightning. I wanted only her."



In this archipelago of 50 islands of pale blue water off the western rim of Africa, it's women, not men, who choose. They make their proposals public by offering their grooms-to-be a dish of distinctively prepared fish, marinated in red palm oil.



It's the equivalent of a man bending on one knee and offering a woman a diamond ring, except that in one of the world's matriarchal cultures, it's women that do the asking, and once they have, men are powerless to say no.



"To have refused, explained the old man remembering the day half a..ncentury ago, would have dishonored his family -- and in any case, why would he..nwant to choose his own wife?



"Love comes first into the heart of the woman,"..nexplained Nananghe. "Once it's in the woman, only then can it jump into the man."

i heart

2.13.2007
aight...while i do not especially enjoy what valentines day has come to symbolize (i've never enjoyed that whole pressure to show someone you love them and vice versa) i do have some crazy good times on the day and have thus decided that the day isn't so bad if 'used' correctly.




i don't know what it is BUT every year my friends and family do the cutest things that in no way remind me that the day is commonly referred to as "single awareness day" (S.A.D.)



this guy at my job kept going on and on today about how whenever girls get together on that day all they do is bad mouth men but the last time i went to a girlie v-day bash we had a blast just being us and being goofy...i honestly don't remember any encantations to banish our ex's lol...but i do remember champaigne and strawberries that got us crunk enough to start belting out kanye west's college dropout...and heading to a club where we danced our brains out and met some really cool peeps...and gasp! they were men!



i know that we should never have to be told to tell our special ones we love them cuz a hallmark card told us to (i'm a firm believer in that!) but ya can't knock people for just using the holiday as an excuse to hang with buds and luv 'em up! i have a valentine this year : ) i'm gonna use my wonderful lakers tickets and spoil her rotten, la style : )



it's date night tonight though. this is when the music "back in the saddle again" starts playing and you all cheer that old tishy is back. why was i supposed to be pausing again? there will be no pausing. life isn't tivo-capable. so it's a good week for crushing :) i've got a couple : ) and that's all i can say about that. hee hee



so what do i heart currently?



i heart my friends...my goofiness isn't created from thin air folks! they keep giving me the juice to do the dang thing and allow me to be me



i heart my dad who never forgets to send me cute little cheesy cards and a box of chocolates every year...it's good when you're dad spoils ya and reminds you someone's always got your back



i heart my mom of course. if you ever have the chance to meet ms. k then you are a lucky lucky person. the woman embodies strength to the infinite power



i heart the possibilities 2007 holds. can you feel it in the air?



there's a ton more of course but those are the big ones i have now : ) even if ya can't stand the pressure of v-day you can always use it as an excuse to remember the things ya love.

wicked

2.11.2007
ere is a thin line between love and crushed.




so i asked for the wicked tickets. i was told he was going to sell them. i offered to buy them. he said no--just to get my own. then a freaking awesome friend said that he would get them for me...i started crying.



it's crazy that someone who barely knows me can see how much those damn tickets mean to me. i'm still in shock that my ex is being so harsh...i did nothing to this guy. he broke up with me...so why such nastiness? i'm not for sure but it makes things easier. i'm sure some friends were skeptical that i might go back to him again...it will NEVER happen. i gotta have a fatima and a fatima would never keep something like that from me.



if i get these tickets i will seriously be the happiest girl in the world. i'll go and sit on the edge of my seat and weep. there are some things in life that humble us while feeding our soul...this is one such gift.



i'm growing up all over again...i'm relearning love, friendship, everything...get ready for the ride folks!

friends

if you want to see a man's character (or a woman's!) look to the friends...




i was always the kid with friends who everyone questioned. They assumed at first glance we were complete opposites , but the older i get i realize it didn't matter that i was a goody goody that could never skip class or talk back to my momma (and they were!)...these people were kind and loving and goofy and whatever else...everything that i try to be.



i'm learning this lesson about friends more and more every day...the way friends conduct themselves is important. i hate to judge but it seriously deters me to even wanting people in my world that have shady friends...no matter how much i may have loved them at one point. maybe i just got lucky but i've met some amazing people along the way...i never have had to be the girl that says "yeah my friend is a complete schmuck but they're my bud so i put up with it" what the heck?! that ish basically means you're a schmuck so wake up. my best friends are so amazing...i go to their myspace pages or bloggers (V!) just to be more in their world. i'm proud to call them friends.



i just visited a new friend's page and went thru a gang of pictures he's taken of his family and friends and it warmed me up inside...you can tell so much about a person's friends...



whenever i get lost and can't figure out who the heck i really am and what i came out here for i just start flippin thru pictures or reading letters...i realize i am my friends and i find my way back home.

blogs are cracks into the soul...windows is a bit much

2.10.2007
blogs are the best thing since sliced bread.




i just caught up on my favorite vikk's blogs and i swear i've never laughed so hard in my life. the girl can definitely write that's for darn skippy. i would put the link to her site on here but i have to ask her permission first : ) she seriously is a great story teller though and finds the best humor in every day situations. isn't that what it's all about? she freaking wrote about maxi pad advertising lol...ha! killin me...



i'm currently sitting on the floor in my living room rubbing my chin because i can't seem to feel it...i just got back from the dentist. yes, i realize it's 7 something on a saturday evening. (gotta love los angeles schedules) i had my first cavity and it happened to be the size of jupiter. he shoved a mirror in my hand and made me check it out cuz it was so amazingly big. nice....is it just me or does anyone else feel like a failure when they go to the dentist and they an extra long time to scrub all the plaque off or in my case fill a cavity? i hang my head in shame.



ope. my 'fatima' just called me. :) in case you don't know what a 'fatima' is i will tell you. there's this book called, _the alchemist_ which tells the story of a young man who sets out to find his dream...along the way he runs into a woman who becomes his true love...she is worthy of this title because she supports his dreams...her name: fatima.



i have a fatima and he's great. you're lucky if you can find one. they're a rare thing. anyways he called promising to come see me soon. i'm not gonna hold my breath but it's good to hear a friendly voice. my friends from back home have really done a good job of reminding me why i chose the name "revolutionary petunia" on this darn site...it's cuz i was a bad mama jama. she's coming back though!



question for my buds...so all of you know i have a deep love for the book _wicked_ i read it and actually cried when it ended...i loved the heroine, elphalba...i loved her dearly so you can imagine the joy i felt when my ex told me he bought me tickets to the broadway musical for valentines day 2007. i cried i was so happy....but as you all know we broke up. i couldn't even keep in the question...five minutes after we decided to part ways for good i asked if i could still go see wicked...and he said he didn't know...



it's next week. do i ask him again if i can have them? does that seem weak and stupid? they were a gift right? hurry though...valentines day is fast approaching.



did i mention elphalba was green? soul mates i say...

sister...you've been on my mind

man this week was hard on the soul. when times get tuff i always revert back to a momma's girl...go crawling back to the woman i call "mo" but this time she was being a crazy lady....




i'm telling my mom i have no idea anymore about dating and even judging who should and shouldn't be a friend in my life and all that bull junk and she's telling me i need to get that figured out cuz she needs grandchildren soon and she wants her first born to give her her first...no pressure...especially since my younger sister is already dating someone that she has for years and happens to live with him and happens to already talk about the whole marriage thing. why did the momma have to go cliche on a sister? not all mom's have to nag about marriage do they? is it a part of the job? i keep hearing the dad from my big fat greek wedding, "but toula you're so old...." i'm about to spray the lady down with windex and tell her to chill out :)



it's saturday morning. i just finished watching the color purple...every time that movie comes on....one of the last scenes where celie and shug are talking about the color purple and then "see daddy, sinners got soul too" i cry like a baby every dang time. that movie is why i wanna be an actress...when strangers ask me i never want to go into the soul renching explanation so maybe i'll just give 'em that: watch the color purple and you'll see why : )



2007's going to be the year.



i saw a new flick the other night that was pretty darn good if anyone needs something new...it's called "little children". it's real and weird but it's good...that's the only way i can explain it. it's the one with kate winslet and my new movie bud freaking rocks for being on top of things. i was highly impressed the dude was listing some good ones. you know i flock to the movie appreciators like nothing. a movie can totally jump start my week...and i needed that after the heinous bull crap that came my way.



a college buddy is staying with me currently. she's from this fabulous group of ladies i refer to as "the sista girls" i forget all the good times i've had with the sistas...we stayed up late, watching aladdin and laughing our little heads off...i forget just how good the good times were. i was a pill that's for sure. i dedicate this valentines day to the sister girls...lol...man did we have a great one once.



today i'll be taking her to a tish fav...pinkberry : ) and then i have to hand her off to some of her other friends. last night was great though...



might i recommend if you're ever in the woodland hills area, visit the el torrito's and get a strawberry mango margerita...yum



happy weekend....

consolation prize

2.03.2007
it's a darker way of looking at the brighter side of a bad situation...




in most relationships (i can't speak for the human lumps) the two luv birds bring certain aspects from their lives to the table... you never really think of these things until it's break up season and then life gets interesting.



i dated a cat once and after we broke up i remember thinking about all of the things i introduced him to that he would take into his new relationship...jokes i had told him, phrases, certain ways of speaking, restaurants i had introduced him to...basically tish culture. he wasn't a lump...he gave me some stuff as well. i like to think of these little mementos as consolation prizes. ™ (hee hee)



it makes you rethink any negative thoughts about your former loves. i love my ipod...i love la jolla, ceviche, the phrase i say "one bad joke two bad jokes ah ah ah" movies i was hipped to, books, music...



some may not want to admit that fun parts of their character came from an ex that may have possibly broken something integral inside but everything happens for a reaon...at least we get some prizes to take home.



i'd love to be out with people and have the power to see when they're using one of their consolation prizes...a small ding sounds...i'm sure it would happen a lot.



i had a good day today. yesterday was boring and painful but today i was quite productive...i watched the ku game (thanks again justin for texting me two minutes before it was over to tell me they lost...man i love tivo), started a maid of honor project, fed oscar some yummies, watched some good flicks. it was just a good quiet saturday. there are new guys that make me laugh. no dating for a while but i'm starting to open back up to the possibility that one day my rules will come back and i'll watch for things to click again...



see if the men folk dig the consolation prizes i bring to the table

you will be recognized and honored as a community leader

2.01.2007
ah how i love fortune cookies : ) the subject title of this blog is courtesy of the chinese joint down the street.




chillin at home alone on a friday night was bound to happen right? i seriously wanna read some blogs from folks about the slum part of 'singleness' . real singleness. ok i just saw something flash across the tele about some lonelygirl thing on youtube. now that's what i call service.



i just wanna know if i'm really supposed to get used to this...yeah yeah yeah "you need to learn to be on your own and be comfortable". i'm comfortable damn it but i also didn't grow up as an only child. i've always had folks around so there's only so many "dinner and movie for one please" nights i can take folks.



my strong-willed girlfriends are shaking their heads at me right now probably...don't let people know when you're home alone...i don't care though...why not. i left work early today cuz i'm under the weather, woke up from a long wonderful nap and now i'm scratching my head wondering why i never noticed how sucky friday nights are before.



so...when harry met sally or the labrynth?...any suggestions?

diary of a goof

ah the things we realize once we've stepped out of that damn box.




i'm sitting here watching a movie that has me cracking up....laughing alone mind you but i don't give a hoot. introspection sets in and the dang truth comes out. so many thoughts racing thru my head. i can't even focus to write this dang blog. i've erased four differen sentences lol. just can't write.



i've been a goofy littl thang today...maybe it's cuz the weekend is around the corner, maybe it's cuz i'm starting to see my light once again (living out in los angeles causes you to write/say statements such as 'i see my light') or maybe it's cuz i have some goofy friends that keep me on my toes and make life plain fun.



i've learned a valuable lesson in the past couple of weeks. i'm a soldier when it comes to people trying to break me. if i ever have to help one of my girls with a similar problem i know i'll be able to...there's this lowest of low point, followed by introspection, rationalization and hopefully...hopefully peace. real peace. the kind of peace where you learn the 'other' wasn't trying to break you after all...just let their selfishness or smarts get in the way. tyler perry says sometimes we keep holding on to what God, Himself doesn't want us to have. "Give up the ghost!" then you feel lucky cuz you learn it's just more time to find yourself. big sigh....yeah applause...she's getting it!



makes for a good weekend. my eye is still going berzerk on me...i know my body doesn't like cali very much so i'm gonna go get that checked out and then i'm seriously chillin...getting coffee with my girlie e on sunday morning...shooting the breeze...watching the superbowl with b and her people. bring a little ceviche and grub grub grub. that's my kind of weekend yo!
« »
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

.

Luv and Kiwi All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger