blessings come in all shapes & sizes

(and when you least expect them)

imagine if you will a girl waking up this morning, picking up some stuff to give to folks at work at the Rite-Aid around the block, getting in her car and hearing the song "Home for the Holidays" and starting to cry.

i wasn't doing too hot today. I called mo and cried a bit to her about how hard it was. I came to work and emailed my best friend about the stuff that was making me sad...the main issue being the sacrifices i've had to make ever since i made the decision to move out here. i've listed these sacrifices've all heard my pity call (i'm sorry for that) but it gets hard...i sat at my computer and wondered why i had to go thru so many sacrifices...why i had to take it all just because i was strong enough (supposedly to handle it). i got off of work early...i love that by the way. returned a christmas tree thingy to home depot and got on the freeway to head home and just relax...

my phone rang. i answered it. they asked for nina (who happens to be my sister so i was wondering what she got herself into) then the woman apologizes and says she's calling from young and the restless!!! that i've been chosen to do background on the show!!! that i start shooting next week!!! and i'm getting paid!!! i just about lost it. this is a great opportunity...i could get there. they could love me. they could give me a few lines to say. it's how it begins. it's beginning...

i called my mom and my two best friends and just started flippin out with them all. after i got down talking to everyone i sat in my car at a light and just looked up to the i kept asking God if i could handle all of it...when i was gonna get some slack and it came. i seriously had to sit there and give thanks and apologize for the doubt (then thanking again with a small plea to keep it all coming lol)

this is a hard life i've chosen but it's worth it if it pays off...i just have to keep working towards that dream...never compromising the stuff that's made me a good person so far and keeping my friends close and informed...cuz seriously it wouldn't be fair that folks get to hear me complain so much and then not get to be around for the times when i'm loving life.

and to the three women that sent me words of encouragement today and every day for that matter... i love you. Mo, jen and brandi... i think it's hard to be a constant pillar of support but they freaking do it and do it well. thank you, thank you...thank you.

it's starting to happen. the casting director told me that the boys on set liked my head shot and were excited to get to help me when i get there : ) hee hee

i'm still sad about not seeing my mo this christmas but i know now that i have to keep going so this isn't all in vain. studio 43 next thursday and friday. it's happening ya''s happening!!!


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