i’m playing my tiny violin for you

oh the agony!

i slept better than i've slept in a long time...i could hear the rain pouring down last night (mind you i can't remember the last time i heard real rain so this was a beatuiful thing) i sprung out of bed this morning with a smile on my face feeling like i was steppin into a fresh new world...yes, i was feeling that great.

i got ready and took my car in to the dealership to have my baby pampered. it's been a while since she's been looked at but i promised to dedicate a small portion of my pay check to her...oil change, air in tires...you know the basics. you can imagine my hurt and shame when the guy comes into the waiting room (2 hours later!) and starts listing all the things that are terribly wrong with my car...that need to be fixed now...total--$1860. i looked around and the other people in the room put their heads down...i could feel their pity. i just laughed at him and said thanks but i'd just take the oil change. i can't even afford the stupid new handle for my freaking door. don't get it twisted though. you know i'm about to go to some mom & pops joint and ask for another estimate but i couldnt help but walk with a heavy heart.

i bought this damn car with the money i received from the trust fund my dad left me...it's symbolic. i know there will be a day when my car dies and i have to buy a new one i can't afford...that will be a sad day...for me and my damn wallet.

i'm thinking i'm gonna go with the delusional ignorant look today. i'm gonna take a nap and shake this off, right after i eat my 29 cent bag of ramon noodles. cheers.


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