a tale of two shitties

7.09.2007
"it was the worst of times, it was the whackest of times"




by no means am i depressed right now, but i am a bit bummed. i feel like i've just hit this rut in my life and i'm about to be painstakenly honest and pathetic....my friends will slap their foreheads once again and ask why i've chosen to put my most personal business in a blog but i don't even care lol...(love you e!)



so where the heck am i right now? for the past week i've been working silly hours at my job...9, 10 hours a day and the highlight of it all is coming home, dropping cardigans and earrings, throwing my hair back in a ponytail and curling up with a book or the good ole tele and just unwinding. there's been no real substance. little blips of lovely here and there but no sparks to energize my soul and get me to my full potential.



the worst part of all. i was stood up for a date with a friend this weekend...yes, canceled on in a really uncool way (made me feel like that dorky tagalong person we all roll our eyes at). i just felt like hanging with my peeps and was actually uber excited because i haven't seen this cat since flippin january or something...i'm kind of embarrassed really.



in a time where all my friends are in these fabulous relationships or have children in their lives...just a someone!!! it sucks to be that lonely kid at the end of the block that walks home alone every night. if i only had a dog! i just got off the phone with one of the sista girls and we were laughing about all the ku marriages happening lately...how many of the dudes cheated on their girls...all the horrible dramas and how they're still able to make my arse look like a silly old maid. the worst is when all your ex's start getting married or are in great relationships. one ex is getting married this month to this sweet little thang and i seriously wanna throw up in my mouth lol. am i terrible? hee hee...in all honesty though. i'm not big on the single life. i believe one can still be independent while with someone...i don't need to be UBER alone in order to learn more about myself...really. that's what blogs and journals are for dang it!



no acting news....no modeling stuff either. i'm seriously hybernating right now. for what i know not but hopefully all of those cliches about it being the worst before the best are true...cuz this is seriously not cuttin' it folks.



even blogging is hard...i'm just runnin' out of stuff. it's weird...i feel like i'm not contributing...does that make sense?

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