planet la

in no way am i attempting to perpetuate the stereotype that midwest gals are simple and naive but i've seriously spent the weekend in planet los angeles (first time) and it was definitely something i've never known before. apparently the valley has sheltered me from that world quite well.

i have a friend who lives on planet los angeles which is a goofy little tish-ism meaning "one who is very wealthy and is far far removed from the likes of me"

my adventure began when my friend wanted for me to meet up with him at the hotel he would be staying at. i arrive at this posh secret location and turn into the circle drive and automatically read the valet's thoughts "what in the heck is this piece-o-crap sebring doing tarnishing my circle drive...he opens my door, i politely say hello and he curtly replies back "you do know that the fee for valet is $24"...(cuz apparently i don't look like i've got $24 on me...ouch)

-alients from planet los angeles, point 1

-tish zip

so i call my buddy and of course he's not frickin' there yet so i'm left waiting outside with the doorman cuz they're obviously not believing i know the guy i'm waiting for so we have a nice little chat...beautiful women who look like posh beckham and men driving expensive cars pass me by, looking me up and down...this weird entity in their territory (did i forget to mention that i'm wearing ripped jeans, a tank and a cardigan?) thank you b for texting with me and keeping me destracted as the brash and beautiful scrutinized away.

my stinker of a buddy shows up and promptly yells my name from down the street (doorman's face drops "yeah foo! pretty woman moment--big mistake huge!"--point for tish) and we go inside...people are stopping him and saying hello--custom practice for these types. we're now even on points but some how it doesn't feel like it should be. i quietly walk behind him smiling from time to time as people try to figure out who i am.

it was the craziest moment for me. i've walked in a tiffany's in new york before and been looked at crazy but for some reason the rich in la is mad different and for the first time ever i really saw how different.

the simple things i do, the fact that i do what i have to do just to stay in the game is shocking to people in this world...i just want to meet someone kind and normal that grew up on that darn planet or i swear i'll bust. i don't think i could live in that world i saw last night...

don't think i would want to. you see that stuff on tv...bel air and all that and you can somewhat grasp the differences between the haves and the have-nots but it never marinates into you until you've had your own pretty woman experience.

even more weird...i felt like these people put up some interesting walls...i seriously wonder if they believe there are genuine nice kind-hearted people out there...after last night i'm not so sure.

is it possible to keep your feet on the ground but live among the stars? we will see...

friends...please know i can't see myself in a million years being like those people. this chick grew up with a single parent mom...i washed my clothes in a bathtub while my mom sang dolly's "coat of many colors"...those memories don't wash off easily...just in case you were scared that the diamonds and bentley cars were tempting.


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