please life catch up with my dreams

i thought of something today as i sat in my car in my work parking lot. my job takes something from me every day. i don't like to talk to people after hearing my name 89 times a day. smiles are forced. energy is lost. i'm a soldier. i can get thru this, but for how long? i sat in my car. engine off, sweatin' buckets and thought to myself...i should be doing a job that allows me to come thru. i should get to be me..and then i immediately saw myself, script in hand on some set laughing and being me in between scenes. please life catch up with my dreams....please.

the new york times saved me today. i read this great article about ralph ellison: the man who wrote _invisible man_. his definitive piece came at the beginning. he spent the remainder of his life pressured and bitter...trying to write the next best book and it just never happened...excuses came. he belittled those that tried to help him and lied about his progress...these are issues that i'd really like to avoid in my upcoming career. tish you must remember your past, appreciate what's in front of you and keep aspiring for the next that so hard? we'll see : )

one last ny times rave. (it's rare that i reference the paper--usually don't really vibe with the times' style but they were knocking out some great ones today) there was an article about personal we write our own stories. you'd think we'd be the best kinda expert on the given subject, but according to the article, "this is your life (and how you tell it)" we tend to fluff up or downplay...(in my case ommit) certain things. who would have thunk? so now i have one more way to analyze do you tell your story? what the heck does that say about you? or is this article just full of pooh? lol...i was bored at work today. cut me some slack.

did i mention i applied for a new position in the marketing department? time to use that lovely degree. use what's left of my creativity if there's any left at all.

i just found a new show i love. it's called "the lot"...reality show for aspiring directors. totally cool show. watch it! comes on after so you think you can dance. another good show to watch..."my name is sex and i'm back"

aight marcus is in cali. i will hang with him on saturday and i can't wait. there are some people that come into your life that inspire you to act the best person you can be...make ya wanna ascend and be like the girl maxwell serenades. he's one of 'em. just when one aspect of life goes berzerk another door swings open and keeps me cool into i fix the other stuff. i'm lucky that way


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