friday the 13th

4.13.2007
man is life just a mess right now for the tisharoo...


so the other day i stayed out entirely too late trying to cheer a good friend up. he's having some love whoas and good ole me, i always think i can help for some reason.



so he talked and i listened and i swear all the stuff he was talking about applied to all the things i'm currently going thru-relationship wise-in my life.



do you know how terrible unrequited love is? to know that the person you love you can never have because they don't love you and treated you like crap so it's rather irrational to even harbor feelings for them in the first place? people act like love is a choice but i'm living proof that the frickin hell i'm in isn't a decision i made intentionally. i don't say all the things that go thru my head or tell my favorite peoples the times where i think of him, what i think about...they're brilliant wise ladies...they know it's silly...i know they know this.



if my friend was looking for some profound something or another from me he didn't find it...the teacher became the student a little too soon for that.



now i have mr. texas here and the confusion just gets worse and worse. boys in general--i don't know how to act anymore. is that weird? i just turn into this goofy weird version of myself...my lovely facade....when is this going to go away?!



i'm just so screwed up in the head....



today i'm taking the boy to santa monica--this lovely beach/shopping area for a day of lazy good fun. i'm trying to just enjoy his presence. he's the dude that i can seriously be like, "ah do you remember the talent show we were both in when i was in 2nd grade and you in the 4th?"...yeah, we both went to the same elementary school. he knows my roots which is cool cuz most dudes don't give a rat's behind about seeing where you grew up and what made you the person you are today....this removes a step : ) plus we laugh....always a plus for a good house guest.



one great thing...it's friday the 13th!!!! hot dog...my favorite days by far being i was born on one. : ) enjoy friends.



freud time--who gets to be captain obvious expert for this dream?



i had this dream where someone was offering to give me their version of my car, but with all the bells and whistles, low mileage , etc. and i didn't want it..i wanted my old and familiar...and i was torn up inside because i knew this car was freaking better, but i still wanted mine...something i knew the ins and outs of no matter how much trouble it gives me. swear this was a real dream...

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