errands, love perspectives and mail

i just wrote the most amazingly clever blog...i seriously had been writing it for over an hour and it is now gone...lost out there in that nasty black hole that myspace hords above our heads....this blogging device is the devil i say! EL DIABLO!

so a nutshell...(i'm writing this with the worst sour face possible)

there were three things totally bothering me this week that i need to get off my chest...things that have been boils on my butt (what's that from e?)

the first being my darn mail. i had this great birthday but the next day i started receiving notes from friends and family asking why i didn't call and talk to them about the card/gift/etc. that they sent...i couldn't because my darn mail person did something funky to our lock box and isn't able to leave mail i finally got the week's mail today and while i'm still missing quite a bit i did get some kiwi-rific goodies from my buds. my best bud sent me a cd entitled "13" that is oh so good. i've been rocking out since i opened it--she frickin put a wicked tune on can't go wrong with wicked! my childhood bud, l.a. sent me a framed picture of the two of us from her wedding...touching i must say...i love getting great surprises like that...darn you mail person!...trying to still my dare...

as for this weekend...well i'm supposed to be on the east coast visiting "mr. basketball" and watching him play in one of his last games but thursday i was feeling like royal ish so i canceled. instead i plan to run errands that will help my life function a little better, chill, read, write, hang with a new bud at work that wants to see an indie flick with me and sleep sleep sleep ; )

love perspectives: lol....sigh. today i had a moment. here's the deal. my soul mate/first love literally popped back into my life this week and we've been catching up...he's the guy that knows the human basic core tish and while the moment i opened his email on my birthday will go down as one of my sweetest moments i'm confused as heck right now...i've got so much bitterness and confusion and angst for my just ended so weird...there was a lot of dishonesty and i just can't wrap my mind around the fact that this dude could switch it up on me like makes it so hard to embrace the good...i can physically feel this hard lump in my heart...

my best friends have given me a homework assignment that they say will take this whatever out of me. i'm supposed to pray for this ex and all of his horrible cohorts every morning--pray for something good, say something good about sounds ridiculous and impossible but i'm willing to try anything...i'm desperate to let go of this crap in me so i can live my life right.

while this crap is definitely chillin in my frontal lobe region i still, thankfully, have the gumption to see the good stuff. today, for instance, i stopped and smelled the roses...and calla lillies, iris, daisies...(i love birthday flowers.) i began to book things for my best bud's upcoming bachelorette par-tay in vegas, i had lunch with b and shared a really really good jack daniels hamburger (no regrets when you share) and cracked up with the soul mate/first love over some old but good memories. i haven't let the black spidey man tish take over completely.'s sleep time. the pillow is calling. oh happy day!


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