whenever, wherever, whatever

Lots going thru my head this morning:

One of the most horrible things for me and when I know I'm in a royal funk is when music bores me…when nothing on the radio makes me happy…when everything seems over played and nothing's fresh. I was feeling that way last night and this morning (playing around with my ipod and realizing I haven't heard any earth shattering new tunes in quite some time), feeling mighty low indeed, that is until I started to listening to the songs b put on oscar. I started rocking out in the car to the goodies and everything was right with the universe once again.

Believe it or not chatting with an ex boyfriend of mine has been perking me up too. I like it that I can joke around and kid with someone that I used to date. It reconfirms the fact that I'm a mature adult capable of going on with life. I'm going to his wedding this year too…just in case the skeptics were wondering. He's spoken to vic on the phone before so it's not like there's any sneaky sneaky going on either…I like the fact that we still can joke and laugh about our dating experience and there wasn't any bad blood. I have this stupid drive to be this uber super girlfriend…so if we argue or I feel like I'm being a debbie downer I feel like this terrible person. Ex's (well at least some) tend to give me a diluted "you're the bomb" perspective because they forget the bad and remember the good : ) I think it can be healthy.

Totally switching topics: this guy at work made me this chart thing based off of my birthday, time of birth, yadda yadda and it basically tells me the kind of person I am. we as earthlings can't help but know what type of peeps we are but it's always crazy to see in writing something reconfirming all of your tiny little nuances. This little book brought up a traumatic family issue I had as a kid that dictates the type of family I want now that I'm grown, it talked about how I am with those I date and what I expect from them…how I even react to disappointment. Lol…over and over again it said that I'm supposed to be in the spotlight too...that I'm some sort of teacher and I've always been so I'll use my big mouth to say what I need to say to mass groups of people in the future. You all think I've gone totally hippie/cali on you but this stuff is what keeps me going when I have people shake their heads in my face or even worse, when I don't even get the audition call.

When I was a baby my gram had someone 'read the beans' to her (old school ya'll) and the beans said I would be a powerful woman some day…I always knew beans were good for ya!

Ok it's Friday…Happy hour with some folks from work (can you say it's margarita time?!) and then the theme for the rest of the weekend is 'tishy's broke so we're going to read and chill' you like?


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