so i just got back from that acting seminar and i took some positive and negative things home with me...first of all i figured out i can't expect my agent to kiss my behind and go out scavenging the streets looking for work for me. point taken..at the same time i learned he's not really doing what i need him to do and i need to become 100% more involved with the direction of where i want my acting career to go and when that will happen. everything happens for a reason. there's a reason i sat in a room full of pretty people and secretly teared up a little because i've wasted a year out here and this ish is hard as hell..there's a reason i moved out here...there's a reason i don't have hustle, but there's also a reason that i have this yearning down deep inside my soul to do what i love most in life...i may not be a hustler yet, but i'm gonna learn how to work this career of mine as best as i can. i used to hate the word hustle...ok i still hate the word...it sounds like something one does when they have no education or normal chance...they have to hustle their way in...at one point i felt like i had all my ducks in a row. i'm an intelligent chick with a good head on my shoulders and a drive to work hard, but i haven't a clue when it comes to applying that to acting...you have to be educated about the people that run hollywood...the names to know..the gatekeepers of those you see pop up on boob tubes around the nation. i don't know that ish...therefore i need to hustle. lol. period. my twenties are killin me folks...someone at the seminar mentioned that a good actor knows who they really are...because of that they are able to market themselves accurately and affectively...see that's where i'm lacking at the present moment. i'm young and silly. i have no idea, no real focus on the type of person i am. is that crazy to be in your 20s and not have any earthly idea who you really are?! as soon as i figure out some key things i should be good.
wish me luck. i have to find my hustle. it's an early new years resolution if you will.