eyes on the prize

i did my first adult/kidult thing in california today. i went to jury duty. i swear going to that court house in downtown los angeles was probably one of the most interesting experiences i've encountered out here thus far. seeing such different groups of people all in the same room, stripped of any class, title, whatever is pretty humorous to watch. we're all just numbers...

if you've ever been you know how utterly boring it can be. you're waiting around for most of the day. i can't even lie-- i was one of those people that others giggle at. i kept falling asleep and my head would jerk back and forth...i felt like at any moment i'd hear " bueller....buelller..." but alas i didn't...you never know though cuz it's la and no one's exempt from that ish!!!

i didn't sleep the whole time though...i actually pondered quite a bit. like for instance, books are my love. they make me happy and going into barnes and nobles can seriously put me in a good mood no matter what i've been thru that day. i love them like their family members, but there's something quite refreshing about picking up a news magazine...it sounds like i was probably smoking the doobie but really it's refreshing to know that you can't choose the knowledge you're about to receive from one...i mean if you're really hard core into news and left and right wing biases then maybe you have opinions about which way the magazine sways but on a basic level you don't know what you're about to get. you leave yourself open to the possibility of something 98% random as opposed to picking up a book that you sort of know something about in most cases 20 % random...you have a preference and you choose a book based on whether or not it will appeal to your preferences. i learned a lot of nifty stuff today from that magazine. just thought i'd share lol. borring? sorry i was in jury duty all day!

i also thought about my parents too. i don' t think i mentioned it before but my parents thought they would divorce for the longest time...had separated--the whole bit and it almost tore me completely apart...but they're now working it out...in fact, they plan to renew their vows when i come home for christmas. the thing is i'm a little weird about the whole thing now...i wanted and wished for this type of thing and now that it's here i'm scared it will pass and things will go back to the way they were. i start to wonder what makes a marriage seem strong to others on the outside...do people admire those that never had problems in their relationships...moved thru life without substantial damage or is their something noble about those that hit rock bottom and come up together? can you go thru something like this and bounce back? i hope so. i'm just scared...see what sitting in a room for 6.5 hours will do to you?!

tomorrow i go back, but i'm actually excited. i'm participating in something bigger than me. i could have a great and importnat responsibility...do something that makes america AMERICA...cheesy but cool.

tomorrow night i'm attending an acting seminar down the street from where i live. that should be a hoot. i need to start doing more stuff with acting during this terrible dry spell i'm experiencing...keep my eyes on the prize...


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