i've got a penny with a hole in it

today i had a lowest of the low. i was made fun of for eating cereal for dinner..while i tried to play it off like i meant to do this...craved it or whatever, in all actuality it's because i'm broke as heck! maybe i should surround myself with other poor people that actually get how hard this crap is. i felt kind of dumb..and even more dumb that i used a gift card from my boss to buy my friend dinner at mcdonalds..i just felt bad cuz he ALWAYS hooks me up so i didn't tell him i have absolutely no money. sometimes i wonder if i'm supposed to learn a lesson from all this. at one time i had money at my disposal...never had to worry at all and i totally took advantage of that comfort zone. then i think that God probably doesn't punish us and teach us lessons like my parents would do and that i just got lucky for a brief time in my life and now it's over. i haven't given into that notion 100% yet...it'll be a scary day when i do though...scary day.

tomorrow i have an interview for a new acting class workshop place. hopefully it goes well and they don't want to charge an arm and a leg cuz honestly.... I CAN'T AFFORD IT!

i was supposed to clean my nasty apartment today, get my bills together but i have no energy after a 10 hour day at work. i'm gonna try to go to a networking event for actors next tuesday. who knows...my motto from now on is gonna be "why not".....who knows right?!


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