am i broken?

4.03.2006
one thing i learned this weekend is everyone's had a really really bad day...so then i wonder if my problems are worth the amount of worry i give them. my luck is really scaring me right now...i'm really holding on to the fact that great luck is soon to follow but i don't know. i just found out today that my favorite and beloved grandma is in the hospital...to top it off she supports her hateful daughter and granddaughter and the granddaughter's small todler and they don't even care that she's there. my grandma's mother, granny, refuses to come out of her room. i can only imagine her laying there in the dark sad out of her mind and i just want to cry cuz i know that my brother and i are the only ones that showed these two beautiful women any respect at all. it hurts me a lot. she's going to call me tomorrow (my grandma that is) and hopefully things will look up. hopefully all she has is a really bad bug that's going around..hopefully....what am i being tested for?! does this mean some day i'll appreciate all this hard ass reality or is this just life...no better no worse..just this?




i'm about to get a second job...maybe that will keep my mind from wondering about all this heartache and stress.



it's time to detox from work and everything. i'm shutting down early. if any one has any suggestions for changing the karma let me know, k? :) i'm still good if i have my goofiness...once that goes though i don't know if i'll be as entertaining to read about..maybe i'm passed that already and just delusional...ahh that would suck

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