orange pee

11.28.2005
last night was kind of scary. so i had this amazing weekend but towards the end my body started to shut down on me. i ended up getting an extremely bad UTI (i'm not gonna spell that out folks) and having to be rushed to the hospital last night...mind you i do not have insurance. yeah. i'm feeling a lot better today, despite the orange pee and my growing fear that the ER bill is going to be out of control. life is so crazy. i know that things will work out. that it's all a test of my character but christmas is approaching and i won't have money to get my nieces, nephews or godchildren anything. it's just gonna have to be one of those years. money. it's so lovely and so hideous all at the same time.

i'm trying to find some kind of peace because my soul is starting to stir. i knew i wouldn't get results as soon as i first made it out here but yet i do...i just want things to happen. i want to be successful and fulfilled in terms of this one dream. i feel like bills are piling and my dream is fading more and more away. no time or money...man. i had to sit in front of a mirror today and tell myself out loud. you will be a great actress, people will hear your words some day and you will be the ultimate tish you can be. hopefully i said it loud enough for the universe to hear it. hopefully...

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