i'm going down

11.30.2005
I’ve decided there are two types of people frolicking along in the world…those that will listen to your probs when you’re at your lowest and those that find your need to reach out to someone as weak and draining…Both in my opinion still cause me to feel like a complete dufus but I’d much rather have the first set in my life. I can remember back in high school sitting by my future best friend as she poured her heart out to me over a boy that had broken her heart...and I thought to myself, this girl feels so guilty for sharing her story and I just wanted to hug her and tell her it was ok...shortly after this thought a group of our supposed friends ganged up on her and attacked her for being so draining…I’ve never met nastiness face-to-face quite like that, but I can definitely tell who I should and shouldn’t be fake to when it comes to my woes. I can’t believe people were allowed to create an art form like the blues...you think the first person to belt out “my baby left me” would get stoned to death…So I’m feeling overwhelmed…a little bummed. (explains my choice of topic obviously) As I’m going thru this and getting support from my buddies I ask myself if these are the things that will make me stronger. I’m ok when facing that question, but will it, can it make friendships stronger? I’m quite scared of that…Who wants to be around what my twin would describe as “the Debbie Downer”? We go thru life with this façade of happiness and think we’re supposed to smile thru the ruff patches…who taught us this? Boo on that I say. Do you think buying a lottery ticket would be a silly idea?

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