i'm going down

I’ve decided there are two types of people frolicking along in the world…those that will listen to your probs when you’re at your lowest and those that find your need to reach out to someone as weak and draining…Both in my opinion still cause me to feel like a complete dufus but I’d much rather have the first set in my life. I can remember back in high school sitting by my future best friend as she poured her heart out to me over a boy that had broken her heart...and I thought to myself, this girl feels so guilty for sharing her story and I just wanted to hug her and tell her it was ok...shortly after this thought a group of our supposed friends ganged up on her and attacked her for being so draining…I’ve never met nastiness face-to-face quite like that, but I can definitely tell who I should and shouldn’t be fake to when it comes to my woes. I can’t believe people were allowed to create an art form like the blues...you think the first person to belt out “my baby left me” would get stoned to death…So I’m feeling overwhelmed…a little bummed. (explains my choice of topic obviously) As I’m going thru this and getting support from my buddies I ask myself if these are the things that will make me stronger. I’m ok when facing that question, but will it, can it make friendships stronger? I’m quite scared of that…Who wants to be around what my twin would describe as “the Debbie Downer”? We go thru life with this façade of happiness and think we’re supposed to smile thru the ruff patches…who taught us this? Boo on that I say. Do you think buying a lottery ticket would be a silly idea?

orange pee

last night was kind of scary. so i had this amazing weekend but towards the end my body started to shut down on me. i ended up getting an extremely bad UTI (i'm not gonna spell that out folks) and having to be rushed to the hospital last night...mind you i do not have insurance. yeah. i'm feeling a lot better today, despite the orange pee and my growing fear that the ER bill is going to be out of control. life is so crazy. i know that things will work out. that it's all a test of my character but christmas is approaching and i won't have money to get my nieces, nephews or godchildren anything. it's just gonna have to be one of those years. money. it's so lovely and so hideous all at the same time.

i'm trying to find some kind of peace because my soul is starting to stir. i knew i wouldn't get results as soon as i first made it out here but yet i do...i just want things to happen. i want to be successful and fulfilled in terms of this one dream. i feel like bills are piling and my dream is fading more and more away. no time or money...man. i had to sit in front of a mirror today and tell myself out loud. you will be a great actress, people will hear your words some day and you will be the ultimate tish you can be. hopefully i said it loud enough for the universe to hear it. hopefully...

i once was lost

wow it seems like i haven't had a chance to sit down and just be me for quite some time. i've been in and out of my apartment, catching glimpses of my lil borrowed laptop and pining for moments where i could sit my behind down and type away. so here i am.

i just had a great lil thanksgiving break. on wednesday night i went to my girl's house to spend the night so we could cook for thanksgiving day. i made a two hour potato salad and banana dessert, my speciality. it was a lot of fun..i felt like a kid playing grown up though. being away from my family for the first time was kinda weird...walking outside into warmth instead of chilly weather also thru me for a loop. l.a.'s gotta grow on me just a little more.

thanksgiving day we ate, slept and watched movies...lazy beautiful day...watched the freaking lions game which they lost terribly...the crush was supposed to come over that morning and hang before his family events but his dad came into town so i didn't see him..i still haven't seen him actually and i'm pathetically going thru withdrawals...slap me!

the next day my bud and i came back to my house and we went out to dinner and a 'club' after that...it was a blast hanging with my roomie, our mutual friend and my girl. even though they're a little older than us and have their ish together we still have a lot in common as single women in los angeles and that was a blast to discover. you can do anything when you have great company around yourself...i'm thankful for good friends this holiday weekend.

as for yesterday i had the weirdest day...we went to breakfast sat. morning at this lil diner down the street that i love called cindy's. you sit in these little orange booths and you order the most amazing omelettes and ya just chill...

then we went and picked up my roomie and the mutual friend and we headed to this shopping area called the grove....on the way to the grove/at the grove we saw celebrity siting after celebrity siting...tracy morgan--who i happened to knock for having big rims on his jaguar, gina davis!!!!! (i just wanted to run up to her and tell her i loved her show) she's really really tall and was chillin at a movie on a saturday night. that was cool and lela rashon i'm spelling that wrong but oh well. it was funny to watch my little groupie butt go wild...at least they didnt' see it though ;)

we went and window shopped, ate good food in this little market area of the grove and saw the movie "walk the line". i don't know how to describe it or whether or not to recommend it just yet...i think i'm confused because i was expecting this great love story and it was mostly about his life, not necessarily the both of theirs but i guess it was a good movie. long but good. ok i'll recommend it ;)

after that my girlie and i came home and played on myspace all night long...so slumber party-esque. :) it has been a fun weekend. my cellie died though and so i haven't been able to talk to any family members or anything just yet but i'm hoping to clean, pay some bills, catch up with 'real' life today. it should be cool...miles davis' cd is playing...now i'm found


Class was a lot of fun. It was short too…traffic on the 405 was ridiculous. A ride that usually takes me 15 min. tops took me over an hour…I was heated and so when I got in I walked in on them already performing…so I quietly sat down and my coach immediately started yelling and I mean yelling at the girl performing…I mean I know my teacher was stressed about traffic but jeez…she was saying stuff about we've practiced this three times. I see no changes yadda yadda so I'm thinking great it's gonna be a bad night for me..there's only 5 of us in class too… So she finally has her stop and we do improv the rest of the night and I rocked it. I had to play a bougie (sp?) sister at the thanksgiving dinner table and she loved it. the first thing out of my mouth was "I want the white meat" and it was over she loved it. so yeah..i have my improve moments. She was just loving me all night. Good night!

time keeps on slippin

it's crazy when i'm chillin and having a blast and randomly think to myself, "i can't wait to blog this"....

so today was a good day that ran a little too long. i made plans to go to brunch with my girl and roommate down in marina del rey. we went to this little restaurant on the water that had the best food and never ending glasses of mimosa..um and i'm not exaggerating. we got there at 10 and by noon we were faded...it was hot on the water today for some reason (usually when you're that close to the ocean it's chilly) it was a record high today though so we were baking...while drinking. not a good combo. i was lit and loving life. we sat there for two hours and just laughed and had a good ole time. then we walked around this little shopping area and there was this cool little band playing so we sat under an umbrella, let the sun hit us and listened to old school music...they played "at last" by etta james and the woman singing waled it. i sat back in my chair, sobered up, let the breeze hit my face and BACK! and enjoyed life. after that things got weird. we were supposed to leave after that but my roommate's boyfriend kept thinking we had to keep hanging out since it's my girl's birthday week so we just kept hanging and hanging out at her house, listening to music from their generation (lol..disco no!) and then this nucca invites his movie director friend over..it's late by now. the sun has gone down. i haven't heard from the crush all day...and i'm hungover. so this director comes over and the boyfriend just starts whaling into me about taking this serious...asking me questions, misinterpreting my answers and therefore making me feel like a complete idiot in front of this dude..i didn't know what to say or do. i wasn't prepared.i was heated. really mad...plus i haven't heard from the crush! i spent the whole day answering questions about him, defending my feelings for him and my decisions and then i'm sitting up in the joint wondering about him all weekend...it just went sour. now i'm watching my favorite show in the world, grey's anatomy so things are looking up but still. i haven't gotten a chance to really sit back and think today...to just chill and ponder so my brain is off. i can't even really get out "me" in this blog tonight. losing time is the worst feeling...

Sitting in My Room

so brace yourself..this could be a rather long blog. my stinkin internet was down for a bloody week. i've seen just how deep my addiction to myspace runs...i was going crazy. i'm back now though!

so just to bring ya'll up to speed. monday i did not go to acting class because i was dreafully ill...so my EX acting partner calls me that night at 11:44 mind you to see what's up with me...grrrr. i've got a monster on my hands. don't know how to handle that one really. i was cranky as heck though and asked why in the heck i'd be up if i was sick and that he didn't need to check on me...he wasn't my man...it didn't work though. he called me at my job the next day too :( sigh...we'll see.

the rest of the week was cool. i still have butterflies for my boy. he'll say things like "anything for my girl" and i swoon...i literally swoon. my eyes kinda flutter and my breath stops for a little tiny bit. it's the weirdest thing. ya'll are sick of hearing about that though! he is pretty great though! hee hee. we saw kiss kiss bang (i think that's the name of it) the val kilmer movie...it was pretty hilarious. i recommend it. they're not pubbing it too much but it's a fun one for sure. my boy and i had a talk about what we're doing, where we're at...according to him (i'm laughing as i say this because we actually had to have the silly talk) i'm in a 'preliminary' stage to see if we should date seriously. he said that and you'd think i'd slap him but i was kind of impressed. it's quite adorable that this guy is so protective of his heart. he's right too...we all should be. it's ours isn't it? i'm not that controlled and collected though. he still looks at me that way and when he does i flash into the future and see myself with this guy for years so i'm passed the controllable point. lol

i just found out my childhood best friend is engaged! how crazy is that...see that's what happens when your internet crashes...great things happen. my girl is getting married. we've known each other since 1st grade...and now she's leaving my "kidult" stage and becoming a grown up. if my best friend pulls that ish anytime soon i'll kill her. i can only take so much shock at a time. ;)

i also went to the dmv today to get my cali license. it's almost official. i have to go back for that darn written exam but after that...i'll be an official resident. how weird is that? at one point i couldn't see myself in california...and now i feel like i've been here for years...well besides the point that i haven't gone exploring the city yet..but hey gas is expensive!

last night i went and saw my girl's play that she's a stage manager of. it's so lovely to see people in their element not only doing the damn thing but doing it well. i found myself zoning out from the play and just being so giddy that my girl had helped in its creation. she's the bomb ya'll...i love having talented buds. we went and saw harry potter after that at 11:50 p.m.! i was dying...i got home at 3 in the morning...how crazy is that. totally worth it though. i love harry!

i just bought a sofa for my darn living space area thing and now i'm about to balance my checkbook and then go see soul circus.or something like that...it sounds fun. life in cali is great isn't it?!


i just saw the funniest commercial! it's two samurai warrior peeps that are fighting crouching tiger style. one of the warriors starts to flip towards the other and so the guy standing screams out "whoa, you're way better than me you'll kick my butt, do you know of anyone on my level" and then the other guy points to a guy behind a tree eating a bagel. lol....then those two begin to fight. hilarious! sorry. maybe i'm delirious.

i was listening to my "adventures to los angeles" cd that my best friend made me for the trip out here..."wide open spaces" by the dixie chicks...whenever i start to get caught up in boys, work, life away from acting that song can always bring me back. sigh...love it! i'm back folks!!!


i have this creeping feeling that i'm cursed. that i have this horrible effect on people --cool and interesting for a minute but the kiwi luster fades and they're left with the plain jane tishy. is anyone else scared to death that people, specifically your crush, will stop thinking you're the coolest girl in the world?

i need to go to bed. maybe i've been watching too much laguna beach...maybe i'm not in high school anymore and i need to stop worrying and enjoy what i have and be thankful...or maybe that's easier said than done. who knows. every day produces a new stance

we're all apart of the cosmic joke...

i wanna wear a band aide over my forehead to hide a zit that i'm trying to mask for my love. i want to get hot for a date with the man that's had to fight for me to just acknowledge we're dating....i wanna be in movie love!!!

gosh i love grey's anatomy!

thru someone else's eyes

so i have been going over my darn lines all weekend long. i'm so burnt out on lines but i knew i had to come correct with my new partner, the perfect girl from class. so today at 1:30 we got together to go over the lines and it was great...we went over them for awhile and she was equally struggling with memorizing this gigantic mess otherwise known as a long ass play. we did that for an hour or so and then we started talking about our male partners in the class...get this, she had a guy that was trying to practice the kissing a little too much too. we sat and laughed about how much we dislike these people...how you feel somehow violated because they're breaking that professional code of acting that we're all supposed to uphold...the guys apparently didn't get the memo. so then we talked about boyfriends (she's dating a pretty up there actor which is so funny to hear about...red carpets? what?) i talked about my crush and we both giggled...then she told me the one thing that i needed to hear so desperately bad out here...she said that the first night i joined the class and did that monologue that i thought our teacher was going to kill me over she was in awe because i was that good. it was one of the best compliments ever. it's funny that i watch her and think she's it..that she's got everything going for her and she's thinking i've got all this talent that's putting her to shame...isn't it funny when we see ourselves thru someone else's eyes? i was on some kinda high after that. i went over lines some more, asked my girl to help me practice tomorrow during our lunch break and since then i've just been talking to friends and family and in between that getting snippets from this amazing book by barack obama...this month's book club choice. it's great. i recommend it for all. democrat or republican, black, white, whatever. it's just good....

well it's almost time for my shows to come on...grey's anatomy waaa hoooo!!!!

it's alright cuz it's saturday night

so mr. funkmaster play the bee gees

it's saturday night and i'm doing something i absolutely have come to love. i'm painting my toesies red. (sing it like you would the alice and wonderland song...now aren't you glad i got that stuck in your head?)

i'm about to read some books and do everything in my power possible to procrastinate memorizing my darn lines for class on monday...it's just so hard...i hate doing it...waaaa. i'll feel different tomorrow when i'm trying to practice with my perfect partner and she's stabbing me with a knife for not having it down pat. oh well...i'm just not feeling it. my roomie has strep throat, an ear infection and a sinus infection...i think i'm mimicking her ailments...the hypochondriac in me always prevails but i'm drinking o.j. so maybe not this time.

last night i went and saw pride and prejudice...it was great! phenomenal and beautiful work. there wasn't any over acting--it was just simplistically beautiful and i appreciate that currently. keira did the darn thing...funky eyebrows and all. (for all of you who don't know i can't stand funky eyebrows...wax, tweeze, thread whatever--just PLEASE dont show me that ish...maybe that's why i can't stand raven simone..her stuff is out there whack!) so back to the movie. it was really good and even though i've read the book and knew what would happen i still held my breath in certain scenes and still cried at the end when the heroine realized who her love was and agonized over thinking she had lost him...there's also a beautiful father/daughter scene that will start any true boo-hooer going.

ok. time to read. on the list so far: the elfstones of shannara (my crush insists i read this since it's one of his fav's from high school), wicked and dreams from my father (barack obama). can she do it...can she read all of these books before christmas when her best friend will pile her up with more? can she stay awake long enough to dent a chapter? is it crazy that this is the first time she's ever 'cheated' on a book by reading multiples at the same time? does this mean she's not a true bookworm? you decide. stay tuned for next week's drama when our heroine confronts her crush and tells him his book will just have to wait in line....

find the one who makes you laugh...

I love that this man can make me laugh so hard my stomach muscles scream out "FIRE!" He had me rolling so hard I had tears coming down..and all because the boy was mocking me walking in the rain with my kiwi umbrella. I know i've gotta come down from this high sometime but I hope it's not soon! A woman at work today told me that she loves the way he looks at me--that it puts her in a good mood ;) His one little dimple came out when I told him that today. I'm head over heels for the guy and scared out of my mind all at the same time. This guy is amazing...I try to stretch my mind to think of someone I felt something even remotely close to this but can't come up with ISH. He makes me happy and when I hear all those cheesy songs on the radio I sing them loud and crazy now. Well I sang like that before, but now I can justify that ish ;) I can't/won't say too much...that scared stuff is hard to deal with!

OK changing subject....now! Everybody Hates Chris. Right on....right on. The woman on the show has a problem with her credit lol...lately that seems like me. I'm turning into a shopping fool. Does anyone else shop to feel pretty or is that just me? Anyone? .....anyone?

positive vibes

is it just me?

when i have a bad day i wake up the next morning and try to shake off the nastiness from the day before...therefore, i eat something different for breakfast, do my hair different, etc. lol..is this a tad bit superstitious? does anyone else do this ish? :)

hopefully an egg and cheese sandwhich can propel the universe to send me more positive vibes today :)


so i just got out of class and it was great again. i'm really starting to feel my groove. i did my monologue from never been kissed and i rocked it. i felt like a kid bringing home my first drawing to my mommy. lol...the bad thing, i got a ticket after class for parking and my partner was trying to talk to me about the kiss...so i did what any respectable girl would do i immediately started talking about this huge crush i have on someone and how i was using that person as inspiration for my piece...i mean i truly was-it's just normally i wouldn't verbalize such personal things...and that was that. hopefully my intense emotional twitterpations can keep him at arms length for a couple of months.

my coach did tell me i have to figure out specifically what i want to do with my acting career and the amount of time which means i have to turn into a robot and start doing the dang thing...i'll be looking into an improv class tomorrow and headshots are more than likely to come too...as long as i can stop with the parking tickets!

random side note: can i get the fobfo award for the day? in case you don't know that's (freaking out before finding out) i was having moments all day where i was pulling that stuff..my body will pay for it later...groan

the X

Last night I attended a dinner with my roommate, her best friend and another friend. It was perfect because we had all this amazing food and conversation—home made sangria…mmmm it was nice. One woman brought up the issue of men in L.A. and the type of guy our energy naturally attracts. For instance, she said she attracted ‘mama’s boys’. I on the other hand attract the ‘preacher’s son” while another friend determined pretty boys seek her out. How unbelievably depressing though to think that chemically speaking we’re destined to attract certain folks. I think that’s pretty jacked! Of course, I’m aware of the fact that there’s always an exception but dang.

Today’s been a very slow blah day. It’s been Donnie Darko all frickin day and cold…Thank you weatherperson for the incorrect forecast. Tonight is my acting class and I recently learned I will be doing a scene with the perfect girl in my class..this makes blah day even better. For every up there is a down right? I had an amazing up last night. I was waiting on the roomie to come down so we could drive to the dinner party and I noticed the sun was about down, the sky was almost completely black but you could still see outlines of clouds lazily passing by and I just stopped, dropped my bag and looked up and took it all in and thanked God for such a beautiful life, eyes to see it and a heart to understand it. I love those moments.

On a goofier note, I went to an amusement park with a friend and rode the most amazing rollercoaster. It scared me so much I lost my breath! That’s amazing! I figured out my body/strength/energy isn’t what it used to be but it was a fun time nonetheless

a kiss is just a kiss

so tonight's grey's anatomy was really sweet. i walked away with a kissing theme and it was lovely (you know me and my whole kissing thang i have). how unbelievably sweet is it to imagine your last first kiss...'the kiss'...first kisses. we all have these great stories, all of us. i love it...i'm actually trying to rememorize a monologue i hooked my agent with that's about kissing...it's from the movie never been kissed movie. i just love the thought. and that's all i have to say about that :)

why does ku have to be in kansas?!

ok so i rep my alma mater like a mo....i can't seem to get enough of my kansas t-shirts and sweatshirts but man it hurts wearing those darn things when i continue to read stories of kansas' ongoing evolution debate in school...ouch. why must kansans continue with the madness...dayum! i'm from the missouri side that's all i gots to say!

so tomorrow is my roomy and i's housewarming party. i hope it all goes well. my girl brandi is bringing over her little wee one, jalen, who reminds me a lot of my little favorite person in the world, pay pay. i love little kids. especially little one year olds that act like they're grown..yes he speaks in full sentences and carries himself like a respectable young man..it's amazing to watch. ok my weird old acting partner is calling me on a friday night...we don't work together NO MO so why is this boy callin me? hmph

on to better news and somewhat scary at the same time...so of course my crush and i are spending a lot of time together and doing the whole cutsie thing and people at work are starting to notice but it's almost as if they're trying to sabotage...like for instance today. i get off the elevator that a lot of my co-workers are on to go get him for lunch and they start screaming at me that it's shady i'm ditching all of them for a dude...do we have to announce that to the whole corporation?! but then i see him and the embarrassment subsides. he's got one, not two, but one dimple and when it pops its self out i'm a completely different person. isn't that just sick and twisted? even i'm disgusted by the cuteness.

as for my true passion, i don't have a script quite yet for my class on monday. i should be alarmed but i worked my butt off on last week's so i'm not too worried. she does want to put me with the 'perfect' girl though for my next duo...the model with the gorgeous accent, face, body, personality. ya can't help but get butt twitches.

ok that's enough. time for bed. i had a relevant blog to write today. i read something in the news but i've totally lost it...that tends to happen to me. go figure. oh i remember now...it's about this persian woman ( i believe she's persian) who was raped to punish her brother who committed a crime...we'll discuss when my eyes aren't rolling in the back of my head!

hasta luego

my ojos hurt!

my eyeballs hurt i'm so tired!

so last night i went to this really phenomenal event called flypoets at this place called the conga room. it was so dope. i was actually kind of worried because i was taking my crush and i was nervous he wouldn't dig that type of thing...it being poetry and all but as soon as we got there this dude started blowin out songs and then started playing a violin to hip hop....a filipino guy. it was great..i looked over at v and he was totally hooked...that's how i know this guy is amazing. so the rest of the evening was great...we listened to some very talented folks--some did the spoken word thang...others sang (shout out to tasha taylor, that girl can sang) and others brought some hip hop out. it was really cool...my roommate and her friends were out with us. it was beautiful. then afterwards v and i sat and talked for three hours...um yeah, until two in the morning. which explains why i'm hurting today. i've never been so giggly and hurt all at the same time. lack of sleep is deadly. it's time for bed


one of my all time favorite and most fascinating human beings, ms. teresa--the lover of jake gyllenhaal--sent me an email saying she reads my blog and it put me in a fantastically swell mood all day...despite the fact that i was dead tired after talking to my crush until midnight. don't you just love the beginning of something? i sit and i look at this man and i feel the butterflies and i secretly wish for some kind of bottle to throw them in so i can feel them later. have you ever tried to go back to the emotions and feelings you had when you met your love for the first time? it's harder than heck..you know the gist but it's hard to recreate all the emotions and thoughts that were going thru your head.

on another note, i'm watching commander in chief and this has got to be one of the best shows of the darn season. i LOVE gina davis in this role! her power and intelligence as Mack are mezmorizing! she's beautiful! beautiful! :)


i did this thing called a googlism.com search and this is what it told me about myself...funny how we look to other things...horoscopes, fortune tellers to tell us what we already know...lol. well at least some of it...can i just say my mouth dropped open when i read the one about big hair...who is this googlism wizard and how did she/he know?!

tish is a big fish
tish is all tru"
tish is traditionally centered around the charisma and leadership of the rabbi
tish is a mystical experience
tish is truly a light of inspiration
tish is only now reacting
tish is moaning
tish is a jewel with an angel's voice and i/we are so lucky to have her live and sing within our community
tish is currently touring as part of the ambitious border tour
tish is a mixture of fameous gothic ladies such as vampira
tish is amazing

tish is very active in her community
tish is currently working simultaneously for both the design and construction divisions
tish is the softest
tish is part of upside's grand plan to spice up net journalism with an unhealthy dose of sensationalism and adolescent naughtiness
tish is a hispanic joan baez
tish is a lovely woman and jeff falls in love with her at first sight
tish is one of those girls with big hair who sits in the back of the classroom
tish is one of my best friends
tish is closed nov
tish is a california transplant from indiana
tish is also a big movie buff and she can never turn down chocolate
tish is a very cool woman who has always lived life to the full
tish is afraid of being separated from her brother
tish is spiritual
tish is perfect
tish is looking for someone to take over the arrangements she has begun making
tish is an underachieving "big hair girl
tish is an owner
tish is better at jumping
tish is skilled in leadership
tish is bursting inside with fear and rage
tish is a personable and apparently persuasive individual
tish is tish
tish is faced with the reality of giving up "her" baby
tish is appalled when the slang the others make up about her use of verbose intellectual references catches on across the entire nation
tish is hot
tish is the always chipper front
tish is the brains of the outfit
tish is a tall
tish is a free woman and she can do as she pleases
tish is wonderful
tish is one of our favorite instructors
tish is the newest member of the free lance staff
tish is talking about doing some knitting soon and i'm busy working out the best ways to make it entertaining for all of us
tish is singing
tish is the bestest ever
tish is somewhat dismayed that she must go to san antonio

little fish

ok so yesterday was a good day....with a bad blip in the middle. work was cool but at the end of the day my brother's girlfriend called me to tell me one of my favorite human beings was really sick, my nephew payton (aka pay pay) i just started bawling...i immediately started flashing back to the first time i watched him by himself when he was just a new baby and how he would just look up at me in the sweetest ways...i couldn't handle it. he's got a high fever so of course i just call my mom and she settles my butt down...coupled with this really awesome friend of mine at work who has a kid so knows a thing or too. i hope my little guy is ok..104 temps folks. pray for my pay pay...kiwi vibes...whatever works for you.

after i recouped from that i went to acting class (well i hung with my crush) and then went to acting class and I ROCKED IT!!! i did NOT want to perform this skit anymore with my partner and so i just kept inside my character's head. we did some improv with them and i was seriously feeling her...it was great and i got out there and i did my thing and afterwards michele--the teacher--stood there silent at first and then just started clapping and saying "wow....wow" then she asked me how i felt and i told her i felt like her and she agreed, then she said i didn't have any comments..but she gave him some (hee hee) and then the best news of all...she told us we were done..no more on that scene! that was a great feeling. i'm still here...i still have it! i'm not a little city big fish moving to the ocean! i'm a young fish about to blow the heck up!!!! yesterday was a dang good day. :) that's all i gotta say. i'm about to call my little one to see if he's alright too, plus i got pics of my godchildren in the mail. today's gonna be tiring (stayed up on the phone way too long) but it'll be good...

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