When you ask the universe for a reset expect fire...HUGE CHANGE, SUPER QUICK.
Holy shit, friends. Remember when I got into crystals and started setting intentions; asking the universe for thangs???
(It wasn't that long ago.)
Within days I had a crazy, dramatic conversation with my manager and faster than I could say "bad pimp" home girl was terminating our toxic contract and I was free.
IZE FREE! IZE FREE NOW!
I left for a birthday bestie vacation soon after. I rode off into the sunset feeling new and hopeful. Then vacation ended and reality slapped me in the face.
Current mood: I am back at square one, post-manager.
I didn't even move that much! I was still waiting for the manager to help me navigate my way through tv and film audition doors.
I've been scared shitless for two days now while working in full mom mode--doing things for Z's upcoming second birthday. This has helped me chill out some...
"It's good that my auditions have dropped down. You need this time for doing life things...start working out again. Do home shit. Do life. Slay at life!"
...but I'm still feeling scared. I was auditioning twice a day, every day. Now I'm lucky to get two a week. I still have to work on my demo reel...I'm hoping to get that completed by the end of April so that I can start the scary ass process of finding a better, kinder, more successful manager who sees my dang potential and wants to help me work towards my dang goals.
Now I just need a crystal for helping me navigate fears. Anyone?
Hello my name is Tish and I am hippie-ish.
If you've been following my Instagram stories you may have caught my subtle hints that I'm annoying the shit out of my husband when it comes to possessing some black tourmaline + quartz in order to ward against negative energy. (I love how it just sucks in all that bad juju and flips it like a pancake into something positive.) Can't a girl believe in the power of a stone?! Can't I live?!?!
(Note to the reader: We can all thank Elaine Welteroth from Teen Vogue for planting the idea in my head. Officially on team hippie thanks to a casual crystal mention.)
So...I've been on this quest, right... been asking around, checking hippie-esque stores, but haven't found the stuff. Out of the blue my acting coach/mother mentor/guru goddess asks if I can read a short story of hers and edit it if needed. So I agree because everything this woman writes is amazing. She's magic. Her words are spells. I shit you not.
I DEVOUR the story and promptly fall in love with the characters, edit it and send it back; gushing over the work she's created. We get to talking and she learns I'm looking for the black tourmaline and BLOOP! Here comes some black tourmaline in the mail as a thank you gift. I have to share her words because this woman put me in the best mood today and when I love something I tend to spoil it...Since I currently love the world (read: you) I give thee a teeny bit of this woman's magic:
The tourmaline and the other crystal are to grid you and your house and family. I wouldn't walk around with them. I will find you little chunks of tourmaline and other stones to have when you are traveling. I have little chunks I keep in my bra.
Now that was powerful that you bonded the tie in blood! I would keep it by my bed or an altar or someplace where you set intentions or pray/meditate. If you don't have a meditation corner place it near the family table where you all convene. It will protect any gnarly or sticky energy from coming into your home. That crystal from the "recorder" crystal will clarify and communicate your intention/wishes/dreams manifesting into reality without you having to live old patterns to do it. It carries the knowledge of all your times being on this hunk of rock. I always say when stating any intention with grace and perfect ways. I have struggled enough in order to learn a lesson and I don't want to do that anymore.
The Tourmaline will absorb all the negative and transmute it to positive. It is a most remarkable stone. I loved that it ended in a pyramid with three distinct divisions at the end like a wand crystal. A point of manifestation intention clarity for Zoey , For Mark and For YOU!!! It chose you more than I chose the rock for you.
I placed Himalayan salt around it to clear it like the ocean because lord knows those who love us most carry the most energy towards us and sometimes good intentions become manipulations. Like Rumi said we come through our parents and teachers we are not them nor beholding to them, we are not their possessions. So you blow on your stone and set your intention for it.
And so it is!
Okay can you SEE why I crave this woman's correspondence? I mean... SHIT. Quoting Rumi and thangs...
I've been working silently like Kunta over here trying to make moves with my career. Working on that post... it'll come soon. I'm now editing the mentor's novel (a 400 page one!), preparing for Mark's family to come into town, preparing for an upcoming birthday trip...all while "balancing" commercial auditions, motherhood and sanity. Sanity always comes last.
So...it could be awhile, but it's all super exciting. Stay tuned!
ps I'm in THREE commercials right now y'all! THREE. I'm feeling like I'm putting in Beyoncé hours over here.
No this is not another Illuminati theory. (They won't get mad that I wrote that, right?)
I have reason to believe that Beyoncé and I may be soul sisters...knew each other in our past lives... need to be besties in this one.
Proof of our connections discovered while viewing her pregnancy pictures on her site today.
I HAVE THREE HEARTS
Back to the topic at hand, though! Every conspiracy theorist worth her salt has proof so I give thee
"Parallel Lives: The Why and How I Knew Bey In a Past Life" :
As you can CLEARLY see we both have an affinity for backdrops and flowers.
Tina, pregnant with Bey, writing her unborn daughter's name in the sand.
...And BAM! Me on a beach with Zoey's womb name written in the sand.
Not to mention I listened to her album throughout my entire pregnancy and Blue was playing when Z was born.
I don't know how we've become disconnected in this lifetime, but I see you soul sister. I see you.
An Ancient Love Letter
by: Tish Arana
by: Tish Arana
Yesterday I was sugar tobacco cotton and gold
Still I saved breast milk for my own child, a move they called bold
I was the woman who learned letters by the light of the moon
I was the man dancing, training via secret fight tune
I chose to love and jumped brooms; embraced words as our rings
And with that same honest love drowned my precious offspring
I buried both hammer and hair pin simply to mess with their days
And put oleander laced tea on missus’ morning food trays
I ran through the night; found my freedoms in tracks
I escaped from the monsters who grew roots on my back
I gathered my stories; swallowed all of it whole
Let it seep in my blood, absorbed better than coal
Asked Oya to protect it, to bind the magic to bone
For a new generation to remember and own
It took all of my lives, all the grit all the fight
To bind the spell, let new magic take flight
So now my sweet children you must remember my gift
You must remember each struggle that I carefully stitched
The stories in your veins are a roadmap to hope
Stories that will help you do more than just sit by and cope
You resist in your own way but you resist all the same
You remember that no one can take your damn name
Life is not easy. And there are dark days ahead
But like all the mothers have told you a closed mouth don’t get fed
Read. Speak up. Hide hammers and fight
Show them who you are; show them your darkness and your light.
I grew in Texas. I'm Texan grown.
I am programmed to recite isms such as "The stars at night are big and bright
Texas enthusiasts (aka teachers) are good at their jobs.
Texas was life as a kid. It was my everything. I remember the day I learned Texas wasn't our country. You read that correctly. As a child, I literally thought we lived in the country of Texas. California was on the west side of Texas... you get the drift.
I always chalked up my crazy Texan thoughts to Texan influence, but then I watched the below interview with the beloved Zadie Smith and now I'm thinking it's not so much a Texas thing. (Although they still could make a case.)
I love the idea of children centering...creating the boundaries of their worlds...creating geographic cushions of comfort. Thought I'd share the warm and fuzzies. I'm on the wait list at my library to read NW so I'm in Zadie mode right now.
Here goes my Babe Ruth moment for 2017. (Explanatory comma moment: when you, like Babe Ruth, point to the sky and alert the Universe that you're about to score a home run and then you, indeed, score the dang home run.)
So, yeah, 2017 this is what I have planned for you:
You're gonna work with me and the Universe and together we're gonna book 20 commercials. I've already got one down for 2017. We can do this.
You're also gonna find me some beautiful magical story and I will become the actor/story teller for said magical story. It shall be Moonlight, Atlanta, Insecure, Hidden Figures, Stranger Things, The Get Down, Queen Sugar, This is Us and Chewing Gum all rolled into one unicorn-like film/show and it shall be magnificent.
I shall have my *Whoopi moment. 2017, I have plans for you.
*A Whoopi moment...like in How Stella Got Her Groove Back when she stands and faces the ocean and says "God's here." or one of the million moments from Color Purple or Ghost... You feel me?
Why am I JUST now reading Angela Davis' work? I took a slew of women's studies classes in school. Why was this woman not once mentioned?
I'm gonna remain salty with KU on that one.
I'm in the middle of Women, Race & Class and I swear my head is about to explode with all of this amazingness.
Let me be clear: This is a classic academic textbook read. Ms. Davis came to school. So being that I'm just now getting back into reading...and have been tiptoeing back in with captivating nonfiction to keep the momentum going... you might question my choice, but only if you've never read one of her books. Or if you weren't aware that reading is the only way we're going to solve this hot mess we've found ourselves in called The United States of We're Screwed For a While.
This shit is giving me LYFE. (Blue peg. Starting college first.)
I know basic ish about Sojourner Truth (like she was a feminist...that's it.)
Davis devotes pages to Truth's triumphs at the first National Convention on Women's Rights. She single-handedly rescued the Akron women's meeting from the bullshit hostile men (read: the original trolls.)
The men used a tired argument that it was ridiculous for women to desire the vote since they couldn't "even walk over a puddle or get into a carriage without the help of a man." and that's when Sojourner Truth hurt 'em.
She reminded them no one had ever helped her over a puddle or helped her out of a carriage. Then she asked a question that caught fire: "And ain't I a woman?"
"I have ploughed, and planted, and gathered into barns and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man--when I could get it--and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children and seen them most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?"
The men were shook and desperately reached in their trusty tool belt of misogyny and pulled some Bible bull out. She came with the best answers that frankly we should be memeing the hell out, y'all:
"Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with him."
Then they mentioned the whole Eve committed that horrible sin bull spit and she came back with, "If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to get it right side up again! And now they are asking to do it, the men better let them."
Ladies and gentlemen, I have found my "new" shero! I need a shirt damn it. Plaster Ain't I a Woman on it in bold letters. (Yes, damn it. I know I'm late to the damn party, but you don't know what you don't know. I'm patting myself on the back for finding a list in the first place.)